No idea where this came from but I find I like pairing Rick with an OC so there might be more one shots in the future.

The Lonely Life

She took a shuddering breath as she blinked back the tears. This wasn't what her life was supposed to be; a constant tally of failures. Even when she did her absolute best the world laughed in her face, shoving her back down into the dirt. Amelia had gotten so used to it that in those rare moments when a ray of sunshine would break through her dark clouds of despair she would shy away from it.

"Millie?" She didn't acknowledge the sound of her name as she convinced herself it was all in her head. She ignored it again the second time but when the voice called out, "Amelia!" she slowly turned around.

She had been with a group in the beginning but that quickly dwindled down to her and one other person when they stumbled upon Woodbury. She had easily fallen for the governor's charm and sickeningly sweet smile. It was the hope she needed that maybe there was a light at the end of the tunnel after all. She thought she had finally found refuge in the prospering town with the guarded walls. She was wrong. The cowboy, as she had nicknamed him, came to Woodbury after the governor had fled and offered those who remained a safe haven in a nearby prison. Amelia was reluctant to go at first but knew she had no other choice if she wanted to survive. And back then she did. Somehow she still had a sliver of hope that she would make it out of this whole apocalypse alive but, like all things in her life, that was taken away from her too. It was the moments when she started to let herself hope again that the world pulled the veil away from her eyes to remind her of the hell she lived in.

The governor rolled up to their fences with a new group of followers looking to settle the score. It wasn't until she saw the cowboy try and talk his way out of it that she truly noticed he was nothing like the governor himself. His words were spoken from the heart, a pleading behind every syllable that things didn't have to go down the endless road of retaliation. The governor though was a ruthless man, cold and vengeful, and as soon as he slashed into the old man's neck bullets started to fly. On instinct Amelia dropped to the ground, cowering behind an old metal filing cabinet. She sat there with her arms wrapped around her knees, listening to the chaos evolve around her. It wasn't just a war; it was daughters fighting for the loss of their father, cold hearted men seeking out revenge, and the devastation that another place she had called home was now destroyed. Amelia wanted to give up. Finally throw that little white flag in the air and surrender to the fact that she wasn't built for this world but before she could even complete her thought Daryl had grabbed her by the arm, hauling her to her feet. He pushed her towards where the bus was waiting without ever taking his eyes off the advancing enemies. It was the push she needed but as she neared the bus she didn't stop. She couldn't. Running had been the only thing that had kept her alive so far. A stray bullet grazed her arm causing a sharp intake of breath but she never stopped running. Stopping meant giving up and giving up meant dying. Amelia ran until her lungs burned with each ragged breath. Glancing around at the woods on either side of her, the hair on the back of her neck stood up when she realized she was all alone.

She blinked at the man limping towards her, blood coating his face, neck, and chest. If he hadn't spoken she might have mistaken him for a walker. "Rick." Her eyes instantly searched behind him for any of the others but he appeared to be alone and a heavy ache settled deep in her chest knowing he wouldn't leave his children behind unless the unthinkable had happened.

"Did you see any of the others?" He questioned as he got closer.

She shook her head, "No, I'm sorry…" she trailed off embarrassed by her lack of courage, even more so that it took Daryl pushing her away from it all to realize she wanted to live. "I just ran."

He gave an almost impermeable nod and went to step around her. Amelia couldn't resist the urge to try and help him and when he put his arm around her shoulders she winced. His fingers had accidentally touched where she had gotten grazed and she bit her bottom lip.

He pulled away and took her arm in his hand, "Not too bad."

"Wish I could say the same about you, cowboy."

She didn't need to have medical training to see he was in bad shape and knew they needed to find somewhere to hold up until he healed or was at least cleaned up. Only problem was she wasn't even sure how to do that. Her whole life had been one big chance of luck after another and now that she stood next to Rick she supposed it had happened again. She couldn't survive on her own and though he already appeared to be on death's doorstep she would take it because if anyone could pull through it was the man with the strong voice and soft eyes even if he was more broken than he had ever seen a person.

X-X-X

Rick sat on the wooden floor with his back against the couch with a vacant expression on his face. Amelia curled up at the end of the couch feeling completely useless. She couldn't even fix herself how was she supposed to help him. She had to try though. She knew what it felt like to ride on the devil's backbone and it was a feeling she wouldn't wish on anyone. Amelia slid off the couch and sat next to him, their shoulders almost touching. What was she supposed to say? I'm sorry you lost your kids? I'm sorry you no longer have a place to call home? I'm sorry that of all people you got stuck with me?

The words seemed to fall incredibly short so instead she put her hand over his and when he didn't pull away she interlaced her fingers with his. He gave her hand a light squeeze and she felt her heart shatter. Words weren't needed to heal the broken man next to her. It didn't matter if he was the leader, the one everyone looked to for decisions, he was just like her. He needed that small reassurance that someone, anyone, was on his side. The world was less frightening when there was someone to fight next to. Amelia carefully rested her head against his shoulder, aware of his injuries that he hadn't let her clean up. She wasn't sure how long they sat like that for but just as she was about to doze off she felt him rest his head against hers. She wasn't a fighter, she wasn't a medic, she didn't have a place in this world but she could give him companionship and the security one took in knowing they weren't all alone.

X-X-X

The knock at the door had frozen Amelia in her spot to the point she wasn't even sure she was breathing anymore. Walkers didn't exactly have the courtesy of letting one know when they were going to attack which meant it was someone alive standing on the porch of the house they were hold up in. Amelia was ready to run, her only means of surviving especially with Rick being as beat up as he was, but it was his baby blues that kept her from bolting out the backdoor. He held his hand out to her to stay where she was and Amelia quickly nodded while his other went to where his gun was holstered. Rick took a moment to gather his thoughts before silently stepping closer to the door and peering through the peephole. The seconds seemed to drag on as he stood straight up, blinking his eyes a few time and pinching the bridge of his nose before taking another look.

It wasn't until he tried moving the couch away from the door that Amelia spoke up, "Rick, what's going on?"

He didn't answer though, more interested in unblocking the door, and when his face scrunched in pain she stepped in to help. He swung the door open and instantly drew whoever it was into his arms. Amelia couldn't help but tear up as she saw Carl clinging to his father.

Carl eventually pulled away and though he was covered in dirt he appeared to be unharmed minus a few small cuts. They closed the door and secured the entrance with the couch again before sitting on it. "Judith?" Carl questioned Rick and the solemn expression gave him the only answer he needed. "What about Daryl? Michonne? Glenn? Maggie? Beth?"

"I don't know," Rick answered, the joyous moment slowly blending back to one of sorrow.

Amelia couldn't help but mutter, "Just me."

X-X-X

The reunion was short lived and they made a plan to scavenge some supplies from the surrounding houses. It hadn't been discussed yet whether they were going to attempt to locate the others or simply push on and hope for the best but whatever they decided Amelia was going to go with them; unless that was, if they saw her as too much of a liability. She stood back as they swept the houses for walkers and only entered after she was given the all clear. There wasn't much to be found but enough that all three were able to change into fresh clothes and have a few bites of food to keep them moving.

Carl had slipped out the backdoor with Rick following after a few moments saying they were going to go clear out the next house. Amelia nodded so he knew she heard him and double checked the drawers in the kitchen to make sure she hadn't missed anything. Commotion from outside almost had her panicking and as she ran out the backdoor she saw Carl attempting to take down a walker while Rick dealt with two of his own.

"No!" Amelia screamed as another walker closed in on Carl and her feet carried her down the steps without a second thought. She grabbed an old piece of fencing and swung with all her might trying to get it away from the teenager.

The gunshots echoed in the desolate town as Rick took down the stragglers. When the last one dropped to the ground unable to reanimate he turned to see Amelia slumped down on the ground with her hand pressed against her stomach, blood seeping through her fingers. He scanned Carl quickly searching for any injuries and got a silent nod in response to let him know the boy hadn't been harmed.

"Why did you do that?" Rick questioned, his chest still heaving from the adrenaline pumping through his veins as he crouched down in front of her.

Amelia shrugged not really having an answer except knowing that the best thing about living the lonely life was that there would be no one left to miss her when she was gone. He had a son, a family, a reason for pressing on and if she could do anything to preserve that then that was what she was going to do. She had found a way to repay him for everything he had done for her. She motioned to the gun he was still loosely holding onto. "I'll do it."

"Millie…"

She forced a smile and blinked back the tears to focus her vision. "Please, Rick. I wasn't strong enough to survive in this world but I am strong enough to end it before I hurt anyone."

"You don't have to do that," Rick disagreed with her, preparing himself to put a bullet in her head while Carl kept watch to make sure no more walkers came up on them.

"I do," she nodded, reaching for the gun. "I won't be another tally on your list. There's no guilt, okay? I want to do this, Rick, I need to do this."

He leaned forward so that his forehead was resting against hers. They sat like that for a minute before he placed a feather light kiss on her lips and as he pulled away she took the gun in her hand. It felt heavier than she thought it would but then again it wasn't just any old gun, it was the one that would put her out of her misery, the one that meant she had gone to the end of her lifeline and was unable to take another step into the future.

"Don't watch, cowboy."