Light Lost to a Shade Darker Than Black

A/n: So this is my first fan fiction. I hope I did okay; I was just watching darker than black trying to figure out what was going on in Hei's head and *poof* this was born. Set in the first season before the introduction of Amber, a look into Hei's thoughts on his lifestyle.

Disclaimer: Darker Than Black is not mine obviously… right Li?

Li: Oh umm… Right of course*stomach grumbles* Oh sorry.

Enjoy!

"Answer me!" I demanded pulling down harder on her fingers until a all to familiar *CRUNCH* filled the air "AAAAHHH!" Carmine's scream rang out piercing the silence ."You were there." he pushed, "You, Amber, and Pai were all there when South America disappeared. What happened there? Why are you and I the only ones left alive? Where are they? Where is Pai? WHERE IS MY SISTER!" I would finally have my answer, after all this time…"I don't know anything about Amber's group." Carmine gasped out, "I don't even know if they're still alive."

"You don't remember! He repeated disbelieving, "You expect me to believe that!" She replies voice devoid of any emotion, "Yes, if you're what people think you are."

I recoiled swiftly, shocked. What people think I am! She states it as though it were a topic up for debate.I am a contractor a hired killer without heart, a being stripped of my soul. That may have bothered me once, but if it did, I have long since forgotten. For that is an emotion and emotionshave no place in a contractors world. Indeed, it is self preservation that matters to our kind; rational thinking, in all that we do. That is best way to survive in this world, or at least that is what they say. It's true contractors and humans alike, at least the humans aware of our existence, know this to be the truth.

We are monsters, we lie and we kill without hesitation or regret. Why? Because… because, no contractor needs a reason to kill so long as we receive compensation for our troubles. We work for many, humans, the syndicate, the government they're all the same they fear and despise us, seek to control or even eliminate us completely; perhaps, as well they should. Should they? Because we are not monsters. Are we? We are not human but… but we have personalities, we have friends, and maybe we feel more than humans ever do. Maybe, we feel deeper than they shall ever be capable of. Who knows; but I know this, we feel pain … and regret as well even if it is not in way humans understand.

We pay a price for the abilities we have, a penance of sorts, perhaps it's to atone for the horrible deeds we commit, or maybe there is no reason and it is just a cruel twist of fate .

I never wanted this but none of that matters now. Even before the Heavens Gate incident; what I wanted mattered very little to me. Once my sister became a contractor my sole purpose became: keep her safe. Make sure she does not face this alone, and I failed. Now she is gone, but I will find her, whatever it takes. I killed for her then and I'll kill now if it means being at her side again.

What did I want before that? Before the stars were replaced and the moon disappeared. When there was a semblance of peace, if one could ever call it that, in this world. To be honest, if I ever knew what I wanted back then it was lost, discarded lifetimes ago. So what am I? A contractor. A threat to the public, to all of humanity, a rational monster who exists to end life or am I still just my sisters protector a light lost to shade darker than black…

A/n: Do you see that button it says review. Click it. Cause my contractor power compels you to do my will.

So REVIEW PLEASE!

:3