Disclaimer: Castle is not mine.

A/N: For my musical soul mate because our conversations lead to this.

It's calm. Quiet. A silence that's heavy and burdened but light at the same time. Things left unsaid, words pushed away with the feel of hands holding her close, the warmth of a body next to her. Castle. She keeps her eyes open, has barely closed them at all in the last several days, afraid that it's a dream, that they didn't find the antidote in time and he's gone.

This helps. Lying with him, barely anything between their skin. A couple towels, barely in place from the way he grabbed her, flopped them both back into the mattress. She came willingly with a yelp, knowing he still tires easily. And this is where they've been for at least a couple of hours - her hair drying in a frizz of waves and his fingers toying with the ends.

She watches him, the blue eyes that aren't quite as lively and playful as usual, the way he curls around her as if he needs to protect her. And normally, she would have moved by now. Cuddling is one thing but staying in the same position for this long has put her leg to sleep, the weight of his between her thighs, pressing down heavily. She can't feel her toes. Wiggles them just to make sure, to try and get some blood flowing.

He notices, ghosts his mouth over her ear, draws his knee up until her cheeks flood with heat, body reacting, thighs clenching. She's barely touched him in days, weeks before that and she misses him. Misses being with him. She misses everything, sharing a bed, fighting over the blankets in the middle of the night, the warmth he provides when she wakes cold and disoriented from a murky dream she never remembers. This is the longest they've been apart since they got together, they were practically in each others pockets every day and this is harder than she ever imagined it would be.

It's just as hard to bite back a sigh when his hand slips through the front of her towel, pulls until it leaves her bare.

"Castle," The second his eyes cut to hers, she stops her warning, lets it die in her mouth. Something tasteless.

The look he's giving her, need, fear, everything she's felt since she found out he'd been poisoned. They both need this and she lets him kiss her. Doesn't stop him when his lips part and his tongue slides through. She grips him tighter, lifts herself to straddle him. It actually stuns her a little that it took this long for it to escalate. For them to give in to the need to show and see that they're still okay. Both breathing.

It's gentle, desperate, hands sliding and bodies shifting. Her fingers working his towel free, wrapping around him as he sucks at her neck. They don't need the buildup, don't need to tease when everything is hitting all at once. He could've died. He almost died.

But he didn't. He didn't. A whisper from her lips, just his name as she slides down over him, takes him inside with a gentle shift of her hips.

She can feel him, feel the thrum of his blood, his muscle beneath the hand she has curled around the back of his neck. Feel the breath against her lips, the gasps as she slowly rocks on top of him. Forehead against his, the air stutters out of her lungs the moment she drops her guard and he opens his eyes when she pulls back just far enough to rub her nose over his, a tear escaping her lashes and landing on his skin. It shocks them both and her name falls softly like a prayer from his lips, his hands moving up to tangle in her hair, his palms coming to rest on her cheeks.

Her heart clenches, her body wanting but she's caught up in her thoughts, needs to let them out.

"When you collapsed I - " He shuts her up, mouth warm against hers, his fingers sliding between their bodies, slipping down, thumb rubbing over her clit. Her hips jerk, heat flushing her skin as she takes him deeper, feels the stretch he causes within.

She quiets, words becoming nothing more than her teeth sinking into his lip on a choked whimper, skin brushing over his as she rocks, pushing her pelvis into him. A slow grind after each thrust he offers. She quiets, but she's cautious, reserved, ignoring the fire erupting in her blood and the knot tightening in her abdomen. She has to take care of him, she has to keep him safe.

She needs it – he doesn't. He makes it obvious. A sharp thrust up into her and his weight pressing, shoulder and knee doing all the work as he sends her rolling. The moment her back hits the mattress, she gives in, lets him have his way because he's been so patient and oh, oh god, maybe she needs this too.

The press of his teeth into the lobe of her ear, the tug as he whispers her name softly. A sigh. Something beautiful and captivating from his lips as he settles into her. It's a mantra that leaves her gasping with each drive of his hips.

And she worries, doesn't want him to overdo it so soon but he's determined, hands mapping at her sides and making her clench at the muscles rippling in his back. His thumbs pressing into all the right places, fingers at her hip, steady and heavy. Her legs wrapping around him as his free hand skims up her ribs, strokes over a nipple before his palm molds over her breast and she knows with the way he smooths his mouth over her jaw, opens against her lips, that he's doing this for her. Proving.

He's proving he's still here. Taking as much as he needs, giving even more with the steady thrusts, the push into her. Here. He's here...and alive.

Her back bows, mouth breaking from his on a moan, head tossed back and fingers digging into his back. Her body betraying her, wanting more. Wanting faster. Harder. Just more. He knows without her asking, knows exactly what she needs. It becomes dulcet desperation, hands and mouths battling, sliding against, opening, groping as their bodies stretch, push, fill.

A lingering softness paints over every thrust, every pulse of her around him. The knot in her throat choking, growing with the ache in her abdomen and she feels him tiring, knows this is too much but she's too close to stop him, too caught up. The heat of his breath on her neck, the sound of her name from his lips, the way his hands grip and fingers flex, the push and pull of his body, in and out, over and over - it sends her spinning, mind racing, blanking out as she stiffens under him, muscles tight and cramping as she breaks.

A strangled sob and he's groaning into her cheek, panting, hips slowing as she keeps her legs locked around his waist. Neither of them move, their bodies falling limp and useless. The most she can manage is wrapping her arms around him, letting him rest his full weight against her as she hugs him, whispers to him. Nonsense. Broken sentences and words of love.

When their skin is cooling, sweat fusing their bodies, she kisses him slowly, fingers curved around his ears, stroking damp hair and his face is finally pinkened from exertion. No longer pale and pasty and she clings to that, to him. She lets her mouth share a plethora of secrets without the use of a single word. His hand plays with the chain at her neck, teeth nipping softly at her lip and she can feel herself smile into him before she ever pulls away.

Eyes locking with his as soon she looks up at him, beaming as his pinky hooks into one of the rings – his ring. The one he's given her. Their future represented by a single circular band, no end, no beginning. Continuity. Infinite.

"Kate,"

"Shhh, s'okay. I know." She doesn't need to hear him say that he thought he was a dead man, that he was sure they'd never be together again. She already knows. She knows he was planning, saying goodbye, preparing himself. "I told you, not that easily Castle."

"Stuck with each other?"

"For a very long time, so no more getting poisoned."

"I'll do my best." And it's enough for the moment. Enough to finally calm the twisting in her chest, the churning of her stomach that's been keeping her awake for days. It's enough.

"You should rest."

"I've been resting, I'm fine." He's not. He's drained but she'll let him believe anything he wants at this point. "I have weeks of touching you to catch up on."

She loses the fight to hide a smirk. And a yawn that she buries in his shoulder, nose smashing into his skin. She grips his arm, thumb dancing over the muscle as she crowds into him as far as possible. Too many nights without him.

"You haven't been sleeping."

"Been a bit worried about my fiance." She punctuates it with a kiss to his chest, knows as soon as he sighs that he still loves hearing that word from her lips.

"I hear he's okay, a rather heroic, dashing fellow."

"He's something alright."

"Get some sleep, I'm not going anywhere." And for the first time in days, she believes it and almost gives in. Almost lets the wave of exhaustion wash over, pull her under but she fights. Wants to talk. So she pushes through, keeps her eyes open and her body alert.

She's mid sentence, tongue wrapping around the syllables, fumbling them the moment his mouth laves over her hip, greedy fingers tugging the sheet away from her skin. Cool air washes over her, makes her gasp. A sharp sound of surprise that morphs into a low moan – his kisses growing wetter, sliding down her thigh, dancing up the inside. The scrape of his scruff, chafing at her already sensitive flesh and reminding her that he hasn't shaved since before the hospital – before all of this happened.

And it flashes in her mind, the panic, the fear but he rubs his cheek all the way up and it sends a pulse between her legs to meet him. Low and hot. The damp heat of her growing with the flick of his tongue, the tease of his teeth. Her fingers bury themselves in his hair, tighten and tug, trying to steer, to make him stop torturing but he swats her away insistently. Keeps hold of one of her hands as she claws at the sheet with the other.

He's smirking as she grumbles. She catches it. He's barely touched her and her chest is heaving, skin already too hot. She's itching to climb out of it – to abandon her body. The moment his mouth closes over her, a wet firm stroke of his tongue, she tries.

She doesn't want him to over work himself, wants him to realize they have time. Something they almost lost, taken away from them. But he's between her thighs, mouth devastating and hands gripping her hips, holding her in place as she tries to writhe, crawl up the mattress to get away and push further into him all at the same time.

The fire in her blood, the ache in her bones and she's desperate the just let go.

"Castle," A broken whisper, laced with need and he hums against her.

An "oh god" flying out on a whine, a tightening in her stomach, a throb of heat, the rush of moisture that floods her and she's too far gone to protest anymore. The scrap of teeth over her clit, the feel of his fingers slipping through her folds, pushing inside of her, curling up and she loses it – flies apart beneath his lips.

Her head tossed back, muscles tensing, hips pushing into his face, a long low moan echoing around them and she knows from the overwhelming sharp burst as she comes, the inability to catch her breath, that he's appeasing her fears – along with his own.

She's still gasping, sucking in air when he laps at her, tongue tracing her skin, making her shudder hard with a pulsing aftershock. It's something she loves, something she always craves – the way he extends it just for her, just to make sure she's fully satisfied. It's his name that pulls his mouth away from her, a stutter of it as her palm presses into his cheek and he's rising, dropping next to her, panting just as hard as she is.

Their bodies are magnets, never apart for long and she's the one to gravitate into him, roll on her side and smudge her mouth across his, slanting and open, breathing with him. Sharing the air. Sharing everything as she pushes her toes into the top of his foot, twining their legs and melting against him. Sated and warm. Muscles completely pliant and buzzing.

"Feels good." She frowns at his gruff words, peering at him as his palm smooths down her spine. "Being here."

She can't disagree. With his chest pressing into hers and his foot stroking up the back of her leg, there is no way she could ever say this isn't where she longs to be. She tucks herself into him, hand on his back and head beneath his chin, nose buried, inhaling.

The silence settles, the comfort of being held, of holding just as tightly is more than enough. He doesn't say anything, long moments becoming passing minutes and she's lost. Thinking about what she would have done if...but he tightens his arms around her as if he knows what she's contemplating and then she realizes with a sniff that he probably does – that the wetness on her cheeks is real. She pushes a kiss into his skin, lets her lips tilt in a smile and a hum rumbles from his chest. She feels it, hears it beneath her ear. Her eyes closing and the weariness taking over. She's wiped out. Emotionally and physically.

Nights of not sleeping, worrying, constantly checking on him. It's all catching up. A brief tip of her head, her mouth on his chin and she sighs, kissing him softly.

"I love you." She sets those words free. Easily. Always so easily now.

Days. It's been days of him being in the hospital. Several. She's lost count but he's here and he's barely keeping his eyes open. Exhausted but alive. She gets a grunt as response, his brain already lost to her. She watches him, makes sure he's still okay. Eyes taking in everything from the way his brow furrows to how his lips part on a heavy sigh to the way his eyes flicker beneath the lids.

She falls asleep to his even breathing and the feel of him wrapped around her. Where he's supposed to be.