"I don't remember you…

I don't remember you…

I can't recall a single thing you used to say or do…

What dancing in the park?

What laughing in the dark?

What smoldering fireplace that lit your face with every spark…

And if I'd met you once before,

Somehow I can't recall it anymore…

You're just another girl…

You're not at all like her…

But for an instant, when you touched me, I believed you were…

But I was wrong this moment is new.

Because I can't, I won't, I don't remember you…

That was another time

Another time and place,

Although you bear a faint resemblance, you're another face…

Yes, I was wrong this moment is new…

Because I can't….

I won't…

I don't remember you…"

Three AM

This was the fourth time this week that he had woken up at three AM. He sat up out of breath from the closing black of his dream. He ran his hand through his hair, damp from the sweat. He couldn't even remember the dream. It's contents, as well as the reason why he was having nightmares, eluded him to the point of painful frustration. It also annoyed him to know that his three best friends were peacefully asleep all around him. He thought maybe even one of them—or two—weren't asleep at all. He thought he noticed Lily sneak in, and he had been hearing noises from Padfoot's bed all night. That wasn't a surprise though.

This was the fourth night since she left his life forever. She was gorgeous, brown hair, blue eyes, thin, great legs and medium height. She was as perfect for him as he could have imagined. They would stay up until the sun rose just getting wasted and smoking gillyweed until their stupor either led to their passing out, or shagging for hours. Four days ago she didn't see him as being perfect for her any more. She dumped him and he fell into a stupor.

It was Remus Lupin's seventh year at Hogwarts. And he found himself going through the motions without his former girlfriend. It almost felt like he didn't remember her name.

He was taking a walk down the hall on his free period, he didn't want to be sitting stationary for long—and then he felt a sharp pain along his ass. He jerked his head back to see it was his long-time friend, Sirius Black.

"Oi, where you think your goin' mate?"

Remus turned around to meet the sharp grey eyes of his friend, "There's fuck all else to do. So I'm going out to the lake for a fag."

"You mean fuck all else to do with no _ around" He replied almost instantly. Remus didn't even hear a name come out of Sirius' mouth. Weird how pain remains in the heart like a knife. Weird how his eyes and ears had attuned to her absence., "seriously moony," Sirius continued, "You have GOT to get your shit together and stop thinking about that fucking bird. She means nothing! She didn't want you—" Remus had heard enough and snapped.

"She wasn't just some bird! She was everything! She was perfect! And I'll never be happy without her!"

This statement incurred a deep laugh from Sirius, "never be happy without her. What do you have no balls at all? What's the MATTER with you Moony? Do you know how easy it is to get a girl to fuck you?"

Remus breathed impatiently and leaned against the wall, turning to look back at Sirius, " I don't want a shag. I want my other half back."

Sirius never would understand him. He didn't see the beauty that lie beneath the breasts. To him, a woman was something with a sex organ. Nothing more. A woman was like the purse to go with a great outfit. The diamond in a ring. To Remus, the woman he loved wasn't just a diamond, she was the stars. She was the entire heavens.

"Still not sleeping well?" Sirius said with a bit more concern.

"Nope." He said, "Every day I wake up at three, and subsequently a few other times after that. All my dreams are dark and I can never remember them."

"Christ, man. The way you act this is worse than the whole werewolf thing—wait a tick, did _ even know about your furry little problem?"

There it was again, the muffled sounds that came out of his mouth when he mentioned Remus' ex.

"No she didn't know." As they were reaching their destination, Remus pulled out a cigarette and put it into his mouth, fumbling in his pockets for a lighter as Sirius spoke,

"How the bloody hell did you think that would work out if she was your 'other half'!"

Remus frowned as he held the lighter to his lips and took a drag of his cigarette. Sirius did have a point, but he was going to tell her after a while… wasn't he? He looked back, but the thought of him ever being with her hurt his head. She was too perfect wasn't she? For someone as low as him… Why couldn't re remember her name? He ran over details in his head, his mind going a million miles a second. But he couldn't think of her name, only her face faintly flickered in his memory. Each flicker of her blue eyes, her brown hair, her perfect body, brought him pain. How many times had they shagged? How many times had they been passed out drunk together? He took another drag of his cig. And ran a hand in his hair.

"You need to forget about her, man." Sirius finally said, lighting his own cigarette.

"I've already forgotten her."

"Doesn't fucking seem like it."

"Trust me. All memory of that bird is gone." He shivered. He had walked outside without his cloak on. Between wanting to forget and wanting to remember, he had forgotten it was November, "I'm so done being out here." He stated and tossed his cigarette in the gravel path and turned to walk back with Sirius.

"So…" he began, "Who are you with this week?" Remus turned to look at Sirius' response.

"I've, um, actually been with the same girl for the past few weeks now." He stuffed his hands in his pockets, "Though you wouldn't have noticed, being too wrapped up in the imminent explosion of your relationship with _."

He felt floored. Sirius Black? With the same girl? A FEW WEEKS?

"Who is it?"

Sirius looked a bit uncomfortable, "Lauren Townsend…. Ravenclaw 6th year…"

"Townsend…. ? I don't know her."

"No shit. She's a Ravenclaw in the year below us."

Remus rolled his eyes again, annoyed by Sirius' company, "I'm going to go take a nap."

"Whatever, man."

Remus strolled away toward the Gryffindor tower, upset that Sirius could maintain a girlfriend. Because in reality, who the fuck was Sirius compared to him? What was so wrong with him that his girlfriend of three and a half years didn't want him any more? Especially when he thought he was doing everything right for her. Why couldn't he remember the reason?