Blood of the Father
A shuttle slowly rose out of the forest, struggling to break free of the tendrils of mist that clung to it like the ghost claws of some long forgotten predator before rotating in its ponderous climb. For a moment it almost seemed as if the shuttle, now free of its tormentors, was in turn stalking her. It swooped closer, a roaring bird of prey, and then soared past leaving nothing but the glow of thrusters in its wake for Leia to follow as it ascended into the moonlit sky. She shivered, remembering that it carried a piece of her soul in its metal belly, and drew her cloak closer.
As she stood watching the fires sprinkled throughout the treetop village begin to die down, a voice on the walkway below caught her attention. The familiar footsteps ringing hollowly on the wooden bridge and growled threats came steadily closer, asking if anyone who would listen where she was. From her hidden vantage point above she watched with detached amusement as he stopped a curious Ewok.
"Have you seen Leia?" he asked. "Lay-uh. You know, about this tall…Oh forget it."
He turned in exasperation to the golden droid who was following him. "Threepio, are you sure R2 said she was still here?"
"Quite sure, sir," 3PO said as he shuffled in an attempt to keep up. "He said he detected her Highness in this vicinity."
"This isn't like her."
She frowned at him, watching the shadows fragment and dance around him from the myriad of fires below and behind, as he ran his hand through his hair. This was something new. He seemed so… unguarded. Worried, even. Suddenly he pointed to the lower levels of the village.
"You go down there," his finger jabbed beneath her, "and I'll check down here."
As his footsteps and form faded back into shadow, she released the breath burning in her chest. She wasn't sure at the time why she hadn't broken her silent watch, but now she was glad for it. Han would try and stop her from helping her brother.
Brother.
The shock of the revelations was slowly evaporating and in its place she tasted fear. Fear and wonder. Fear of being Vader's daughter. Wonder at how the Force had brought them all together here and now. Wonder at having a real flesh and blood family within her grasp. Fear of losing them. Again. Wonder that Luke could put so much faith in the goodwill of a monster that haunted her dreams.
Leia felt her fists tighten in anger. She would not disillusion herself like Luke. Vader may have fathered them, but he also turned his back on them and was responsible for murdering the only families she and Luke had ever known. Closing her eyes and relaxing her hands, she made up her mind.
She had to help Luke.
The brother she grew up wishing for, the only family she now knew was on his way to face the faceless evil that is the Emperor –with only a cold blooded killer as his unwilling, unknowing ally.
She clung to the shadows on the way to her small hut in the main trunk of the village, berating herself for letting Luke get so far ahead of her while she wallowed in self-pity. Yes, he wielded power that she did not yet understand, but she wasn't helpless either. She knew how to use a blaster, didn't she? Slipping past the animal skin that separated the warm interior from the cool night air, she packed lightly and quickly before beginning the long descent to the forest floor.
The darkness rose to greet her, tugging at the edges of her cloak, beckoning her to come farther down and further in. She caught herself shivering and determined not to let her imagination run away from her. Still, she couldn't help but stare in new wonder at the dark night around her. Was this what her father - her lips twisted at the sour taste of that word - found enticing? The mystery? The unknown?
She snorted softly. More likely it was the power that lay there waiting, whispering.
Casting a final, longing look at the warm fires behind her, she stepped onto the forest trail and allowed herself to be swallowed by gloom. Like her father before her.
She touched the massive trunk lightly, allowing her fingers to trail along it as she felt her way forward among the gnarled roots. She traveled along the base of the trunk and the tree soon eclipsed the last vestiges of light from the village. She caught herself as she stumbled, biting back a curse she once heard Han use. She was blind down here, but she didn't dare use her glowrod yet.
She leaned against the tree for a moment and closed her eyes.
It began as a tingling on the very edges of her perception. She breathed deeply. The sweet smell of rotting leaves and decaying wood mixed with the clean scent of the moisture condensing on lichen to create a heady perfume. The dirt was soft beneath her boots and the bark harsh on her back, carving cruel ravines in the skin of arms.
Another deep breath and the forest began to sing. Choruses of insects and the lonely cries of predators became one with the beating of her own pulse. She thought she could feel the powerful flow of sap coursing from below and rising into the canopy in dizzying harmonies. She strained to hear more and instead she felt him.
Luke.
He had been here. In this very spot.
Her eyes flew open and she stood in an ancient forest once more. Shaking her head, she gathered her determination and began the trek to the Imperial outpost.
The moon had long ago set when she arrived, breathless and half maddened with desperation, to the hills overlooking the base. The lights of landing pad glared angrily in the sleepy setting as she watched the night patrols make their rounds.
If she continued, there could be no return. She hesitated as she weighed the pieces of her heart. The Alliance could use her, and in the past, had needed her. With the dissolution of the Senate, and with her cover blown, she could be replaced on a purely tactical level. While she acknowledged her role as a symbol, that would only gain strength if she were martyred on this mission. Besides, Luke needed her now.
Nodding to herself, she scouted out the best descent and continued. It was pure stubborn pride that kept her from screaming when she was grabbed after two whole steps.
"What are you doing?" he hissed.
The heat in his voice sent tendrils of dread down her spine and she almost cried out in despair. She was suddenly grateful for the dark, it hid her face from him and kept her secrets.
"What are you doing?" The question was more urgent this time and she was pulled back to the tree line where she felt the sensation of bark digging into her back once more. Han stood over her, one arm blocking her escape.
She found herself bereft of words and murmured the only answer she had, "I thought I could help him."
"By what? Turning yourself in, too?" He laid a hand on either shoulder, "What would that solve?"
His voice was riddled with emotion and she continued to stare through his chest to the station. Nothing really mattered. She was going to lose her brother because Han wouldn't let her go. She harbored no illusions of getting away from him now.
"Look at me, Leia," a gentle hand lifted her chin. "It isn't like you to run away. Why did you try?"
The confusion and pain in his voice caused her chest to ache, she wanted to reach out and hold him, tell him how much she loved him, but she couldn't. She couldn't be with anyone. Her life was now devoted to destroying the bloodline of Vader.
She blinked back tears as she replied, "Because I didn't want to hurt you. It's easier this way."
"Who's it easier for?" he snapped. "You?"
She pushed past him trying to distance herself from his touch. "You don't understand."
"You're right, I don't," he tried to keep his voice low, "because you won't talk to me."
He grabbed her arms to spin her around but she broke free of his grip and continued forward. "Just let me go."
His new tactic was to run in front of her and make her see him. Grabbing her shoulder he looked her dead in the eyes. "I can't," his voice strained.
"Why?" it was more of a plea then a question.
"Because," he said throwing his hands up and casting about for the words, "you're the best thing that ever happened to me."
The dull ache in her chest deepened as she strove to see through the shadows that encased them. The man she loved –yes, she loved him- was being brave. He bared his soul to her while she tried sneak off without so much as a goodbye. It was cowardly of her. Whatever happened to the strong willed leader she had been? What happened to the woman who could carry the world on her back when everyone else was falling apart? That was the woman he fell in love with, not this shell standing before him now.
Softly she caressed his cheek. "I'm sorry – I – I don't know what's wrong with me."
His features began to relax, but the concern in his eyes still remained.
"What did Luke tell you on the bridge? Because whatever it is has you spooked."
She opened her mouth to answer but stopped when she realized they were still in danger of being seen. Taking his hand she led them away from the scouts and back to the encampment, but instead of heading back up into the tree top village they found a small clearing and a log to sit on.
"Now, tell me what's bothering you?" he asked.
"Luke," she whispered. "He uh – well I've told you I was adopted."
"Yeah."
"Well Luke's discovered who my real father is," her voice trembled as she looked down at their interlocked hands.
To his credit he remained quiet, allowing her to find the courage to speak her dread out loud.
"Vader," she blurted out. "Vader is my father."
She felt his hand tighten its grip. "How certain is – "
"It's true," she cut him off before he could try and find a way out for her. "That's why he couldn't hurt me on the Death Star, that's why he didn't put me in carbon freeze, somewhere in the back of his mind he felt the connection we have."
"You don't have any connection to that monster, Leia."
Her voice filled with anger, "His blood runs through my veins! The same darkness and need for power."
Han grabbed her face with both hands, his eyes held a truth that she couldn't explain. "Listen to me," he began forcefully. "You are not Vader, and you'll never be."
"I have the same power – "
"And you've chosen to do good and that's the difference." The scoundrel slowly released her face. "He had a choice to fall to the dark side and so did you. You could have fallen after the destruction of Alderaan or after Bespin but you didn't. Don't you see that – you are nothing like him and will never be."
A small smile spread across her face at his fierce defense of her. He was right, she had many opportunities to follow Vader's path but turned away. She shut her eyes, stretching her feelings out further – into the darkness. She could do this, she had to.
"But do you still want to – "
Her voice was silenced by a passionate kiss that left them both breathless and lightheaded. "I love you," he panted. "Nothing will change that."
When she finally opened her eyes she didn't see the inky depths of the night. She saw the stars shining as faithful sentries, singing the wonders of the light they cast.
He pulled her onto his lap and held her closer until the stars receded before the sun's advance and the skies blushed pink.
"Come on," he murmured into her hair. "Let's get some sleep."
"Thank you," she whispered.
The smuggler gave her his lopsided grin. "No problem, just promise me you won't go strolling up to an Imperial base with out me again."
She gave a small laugh, "I promise."