Hellloooooo my people of the Dang goniest Rum-uh. As out have most certainly read the title because I can assume you all can read because you wouldn't be on a site dedicated for writing stuff for people to read, this is an Dangan Ronpa 2 abridged in writing form. Why? BEACAUSE YOUR MOTHER SUCKS C-
*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*
-sorry about that. Reason why is because I don't have the editing software to make an abridged series, I'm writitng on my Surface Pro 2 and I'm pretty sure it can't download those stuff nor do I have the money for it. Another reason is that I was bored and thought this would be a good idea. So as of probably now this brings the total of "multi chapter stories I have to work on" to 3...yay.
And a little homage to Faulerro because he quit abridging, props to ya man! Love your work! Wish you the best! Now under abridging media under article g in sub paragraph 8, I am entitled to inform you all that if any character you like you think is being bashed in any way is in no seriousness whatsoever, just for jokes. And I'm also suppossed to say that I own nothing and Dangan Ronpa, Super Dangan Ronpa 2, and Dangan Ronpa: Another Episode are all owned by their respective creators. Please support the offcial release!
Oh PS, there will be screen transactions that will be represented by this: *swish* scene here *swish*. Why? Simple,...shut up.
"Hnnngh! Unnh. Huh? Wh-where am I? Wh-what happen...end?" Hajime opens his eyes and sees Nagito sitting above him smiling
"I had such a good time last night" He says seductively
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"
*swish* A few hours ago *swish*
"I'm Hajime Hinata. An average high school student going to an extremely abnormal school. Hope's Peak Academy. I've wanted to go hear ever since I was a child, to graduate from here is basically giving a giant middle finger to every other high school graduate because you're the best that you can be. While that my story is a little different but that doesn't matter because I'm happy, I'm here and nothing is going to ruin this for me-768657354789&^%$%^&^%$FBNGFDCVBHGTRE%$# #$%tt8349ruoh'iygv4hofjiou hgbn5 783c49r34#%$^%#$#^Y%#&%$^JV$HC#
V T $
VY%#^U&B&%^# %H$U&*KI %MVI KJU%UN^&M^IO^MIV%UN CYCYNU KIUMYUN tRhio5hopb
yvbykboiht8g9pj4ofivhu'bijopcmrubioh'vjop32h589gp30$^%^$#$^&%*^$&^#%^$
...
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...
"Hey"
...
...
...
"Hey"
...
...
...
*spit*
"Huh? Ah! AH! EW, EW, EW, EW! Pfft! Pittoe! Pfffffft! Bleh! What the f#ck?!" Hajime said waking up in disgust wiping his tongue.
"Hahahaha, I told you guys it would work" A laughing Hiyoko said to the rest of the people amongst her.
"Um, so who are you guys?" Hajime asks getting up on his feet looking around
"I assume in the same predicament as us" Byakuya said
"Freshmen for Hope's Peak academy. Don't remember how we got here. Woken up by the girl's salvia" Kazuichi said cringing at the last part.
"Eheheheheheh" Hiyoko giggled in delight
"Yeah. So what now? What are we all doing here?" Hajime asks
"I'm sure if we found that out we wouldn't still be here, you skinny, hedgehog headed bastard" Fuyuhiko said to him
"Um...okay, sorry?" Hajime said confused by the sudden remark
"Hey hey! That language is not acceptable here in this school environment!" A voice said
"*gasp* THE WALLS HAVE VOICES!" Ibuki shrieked
"No, I think it came from behind the desk" Chiaki said pointing to the teacher's desk
Then, a plushed bunny came jumping from behind the teacher's desk wearing a sailor's outfit.
"Hello students, I'm Usami. Magical Miracle-"
"Jesus Christ! Is that a f#cking gremlin!?" Akane asked
"N-no! I'm Usami. You're magical, fluffy, cuddly teacher!" Usami said
"Whatever, just no one feed that f#cking thing after midnight" Akane said
"But back to reality or more rather what's of it 30 seconds ago, what are you?" Fuyuhiko said
"A rabbit, silly" Usmai answered
"Yeah keep talking smart see where you end up after this" Fuyuhiko threanted
"Typical men threatening the weak women" Mahiru complained
"But um, seriously here why is our teacher a rabbit?" Teruteru asked
"Not just any rabbit, a magical rabbit!" Usami corrected
"Do we look like we're five year olds?" Hiyoko asked
"Well actually you and him look like-" Hajime started saying but was cut off
"Keep talking and I spit your mouth again"
"Ok"
"But I can prove it, watch!" Usami said. Then the walls around the room started to fall down and then they were at a tropical beach "Ta-da! Magic! Neat huh?"
...
*Hajime faints*
*swish* Back to the Present *swish*
"Hey sorry man, I just wanted to mess with you" Nagito said sheepishly scrathcing the back of his neck
"Yeah yeah, ow my head" Hajime said getting up remebering what happened
"By the way, when you screamed your words shot right at me like a bullet. Has anyone ever told you that?"
"...No"
"...Huh. Well anyway I'm Nagito Komaeda, Ultimate Lucky Student. I HOPE we can get along"
"What was that?"
"What was what?"
"When you said 'hope' your eyes swirled up for a second and your voice got all demonic like"
"Wow that certainly is weird, please tell me when I do that again. HOPE-fully it'll be never"
"...Just...take me to the others"
*swish* With Byakyua *swish*
"I'm Byakuya Togami, Ultimate Affulent Progeny. I'm very rich that's all you need to know" Byakuya said
"Wow are you fat!" Hajime said
"And you're more skinny than any buffalo wings I have ever seen. How does it feel now?"
"...Not...good?"
"Exactly peasant, now leave"
*swish* With Ibuki *swish*
"Kunichiwa, I'm Ibuki Mioda the ultimatest of the ultimate musicians! And one the kawiiest girls here!" Ibuki spoke loudly
"Um, hi. I'm Hajime Hinata" Hajime said awkwardly
"You're the fainted right, that was so yoki yoki yoki!"
"What?"
"I said that you were so yoki yoki yoki"
"Yeah, I'm gonna go now"
*swish* With Mikan *swish*
"Um..." Mikan nervously spoke
"Hello, I'm Hajime Hinata. And I wanted to get your name-"
"WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"
"Oh god! Oh, oh god! Um, please stop crying I-I-I...I didn't even-"
"Wow, bullying girls Hajime. Not cool" Nagito said shaking his head
"But I didn't even-OH MY LORD IT'S STARING TO FLOOD! OH JESUS WHY?! STOP CRYING PLEASE! WHERE ARE THE PAPER TOWLES IN THIS PLACE?! OH GOD, OH GOD!"
*swish* With Gundham *swish*
"Greetings mortal. I am Gundham Tanaka! Overlord of ice of darkness! A prodigy born in the fireist depths of hell, created to walk amongst you and rule you peons! My power has no limits, and goes on eternally! Even in my sleep I-" Gundham kept saying
"Um...what's his talent?" Hajime asked
"An animal breeder" Nagito answered
"Huh? Really?"
"-but before creation must come destruction! And there enters my Four Dark Devas of Destruction! They may look small but do not be fooled, it merely a disguise for their true forms might destroy the world in an instant! You should be thanking me that I keep them under control! But! Make me angry and I assure you that you will not leave to see light ever again-"
"Let's just leave"
*swish* With Kazuichi *swish*
"Hello there, I'm Kazuichi Soda and I-"
"Nobody cares about you!" Hiyoko said coming out of nowhere, changing the scene from the airport to the ranch
"Wait what?!" Hajime asks in severe confusion
"Hi, I'm Hiyoko Saionji, Ultimate Loli aka Ultimate Traditional Dancer"
"Um...you can speak normally right?"
"Yeah"
"Ok good. What are you doing by the way?"
"Squishing ants"
"Why? What did they do to you?"
"Exist"
"Wow, 15.5 seconds. That's a new record on how quick I dislike somebody"
*swish* With Akane *swish*
"Yo I'm Akane Owari, Ultimate Gymnast. I like fighting, food, aaaaaannnnndd that's about it"
"Well you're certainly well-rounded aren't you?" Hajime said sarcastically
"Just like my boobs. Wanna feel them?"
"WHAT?! NO!" Hajime yelled blushing
*swish* With Fuyuhiko *swish*
"Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu, Yakuza. Now make like a tree and f#ck off"
"Can you even climb a tree?" Hajime asks
"No, but I can f#ck your bitch!" Fuyuhiko puts on sun glasses, then "where the hood at" start playing followed by the words "Thug Life" appearing
*swish* With Nekomaru *swish*
"I AM NEKOMARUUUUUU NIDAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"
"OW MY EARS!" Hajime cried in pain
*swish* With Mahiru *swish*
"Hey, aren't you the one who passed out earlier?" Mahiru asked
"Um...yes" Hajime answered
"Men shouldn't pass out, men have to protect the women!"
"Um...alright?"
"But women can take care for themselves just as much as men so don't always protect us!"
"...okay?"
"Be confident and stand up tall! Men always have to act confident!"
"Um-"
"But women can just as confident, don't forget that!"
"What's your tumblr account?"
"sjw-gal4va"
"That explains it"
*swish* With Peko *swish*
"I'm Peko Pekoyama. The Ultimate Swordswoman"
...
...
"Is...that it?"
"Bitch, I'mma cut you"
"Leaving"
*swish* With Chiaki *swish*
"ZZZZZZZZZZZ"
*Hajime snaps his fingers*
"zzzz-huh? Oh, right. I'm...Chiaki...Na-zzzzzzzzzzz!"
*Hajime snaps his fingers*
"zzzzzzz-na-na-nanami. Ultimate Gamer. But...you can call me what other guys call me"
"What's that?"
"Waifu"
"Aww, you're an adorable little cinnamon roll aren't you?"
*Komaeda grunts in the background*
*swish* With Sonia and Terutreru *swish*
"Hello, I'm Princess Sonia Nevermind of the Noveslic Kingdom" Sonia greeted
"Oh my god! An actual English name!" Hajime said astonished "Wait, Novelsic? I've never heard of that place before"
"Really? It's right in between Voalhalria and Hexutec"
"...Suuuure it is"
"And I'm Teruteru Hanamura, I'm a cook. And don't worry my fine friend, heh heh heh. I swing that way too"
"What?!"
"I swing every which way I want to. So, wanna get in on this?"
"No...oh dear god no!"
*swish* back at the beach *swish*
"So how did it go meeting your new friends?" Usami asked happily
"I can confirm that everyone here is in someway, shape or form out of their minds! Also, friends? Making a lot of assumptions right now" Hajime answered
"Well, I have a way to turn your frown upside and down. We're going swimming!" Usami said holding up bags of swimsuits.
"Swimming?" Hajime then hears rumbling in the distance "What the heck is th-OH GOD NO!" Hajime gets trampled by everyone as they sing the theme song to Free!, grab the swimsuits and go in the ocean. Except for Chiaki, Byakuya, Fuyuhiko, and Hiyoko. "Ow, why does everything here hurt me?!"
Hajime then got up and looked out at the beach where a lot of the others were.
"Heeeeeyy! Who wants some sun tan lotion on them?" Teruteru offered "Peko? How about you?"
"Bitch, I'mma cut you" Peko threatened
"What kind of sand castle are you making?" Sonia asked
"What?! A mere sand 'castle'?" Gundham asked offended "Foolish woman! I am not making any castle, these are the blueprints for the Tanaka Empire! When I have the materials in my possession this will be the end of mankind! Mark my words, the Tanaka Empire shall rule the-"
"Um...Nagito? D-does this swimsuit...make my butt look big?" Mikan asked
"Well lets here-oh my sweet looorrrrddddd! I mean-no no, it's fine" Nagito said embarrssed
"HEY! Stop abusing her body for your perverted needs!" Mahiru yelled
"But she's the one who asked me-"
"Men who do that are the most disgusting pigs I have ever seen! God, this is why feminism needs to be spread!"
'They may all be chaotic, and random, and even a little crazy. But...they look like they're having fun here' Hajime thought to himself 'Yeah, fun. That's what this is all about right? Maybe, this isn't so bad. Maybe, I should loosen up. Maybe, things will be ok-'
"NO!" A voice yelled, then the sky turns black
"What the-" Usami asked before she was cut off by the voice, who came down and kicked her in the face.
"No! No! No no no no! No no no! No no no no! No no no no no no no no NO!" The voice surronded itself and Usami, broke her magical stick and changed her appearance to white and pink and her wearing a diaper.
"Huh? Why do I-"
"NO NO NO! NO NO NO NO! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! NONONONONONONONONONONONOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEE!" The voice said as it jumped back, sat on top of a robot bird that shot Usami a million times with a Gatling gun turning her into little cotton pieces
"WHAT THE F#CK!" Hajime yelled
"What IS that thing!?" Fuyuhiko yelled
"What is going on here?!" Byakuya asked
"Why do we clothes on now?" Ibuki yelled
"*huff* *huff* *huff* *huff* Oh man did I need that" The voice said who turned out to be a half white, half black bear
"Who are you?" Nagito asked
"Me? I'm Monokuma! And I'm here to get this sh#t rolling! I mean c'mon! Fun times? Paradise? Give me a break! Do you even know what game this is, this isn't your 'hentai dating sim persona' game, this is DANGAN RONPA! And in DANGAN RONPA, we kill, we betray, we despair, all of that good stuff!" Monokuma explained
"W-wait?! Kill each other?!" Mikan shrieked
"Oh yeah, starting today you bitches are my bitches who kill all of these other bitches! You got bitches?"
"And if we refuse?" Peko asked
"Do...do you not see the giant robots behind me?"
"WHAT THE F#CK!" Kazuichi shrieked
"So if don't do what I say, you'll end up just like Monomi"
"Wait, Monomi? Who's that?" Sonia asked
"Oh my new sister I just adopted. She's right the-" Monokuma looks at the cotton pieces and the bow that has bullet holes in it "Oh...right, I killed her. Huh. Oopsie doodle"
...
...
...
*Hajime faints*
*swish* The next day, at the hotel restaurant *swish*
"...I fainted again didn't I?" Hajime asks
"Yep" Akane answered
"This wasn't a dream, was it?"
"Nope" Nagito answered
"*licks lips* And Hiyoko spat in my mouth didn't she?"
"Twice" Kazuichi said
"BLECK!"
"Hahahaha, never gets old" Hiyoko laughed
"So what were we doing before?" Chiaki asked
"I was asking all of you what do you think we need right now?" Byakuya asked
"More food?" Akane suggested
"No"
"Sh#tting?" Nekomaru suggested
"Ew"
"Is it a bond of HOPE?" Nagito asked
"No"
"Are we just going just to ignore the he says that way or am I the only one who hears that?" Hajime asks
"Is it the true form of my four Dark Devas of-" Gundham started
"Just going to stop you right there. No, what we need is a leader to take action and to prevent killings. And lucky for you all that someone will be me" Byakuya announces
"Why do you have to do it! Why do you always act tough around the girls?!" Mahiru yelled
"Oh, you want to do this. Go ahead, pool's open, water's fine"
"Um...no..n-no thank you"
"Thought so"
"Heh, you really think with your fat ass you'll save anybody?" Fuyuhiko asked
"And do you think with you're small structure that you'll kill somebody?"
"Ooooohooohohoooo! He told you!" Hiyoko laughed
"You're smaller me!"
"HAH!"
"Back to business" Byakuya said "With me as your leader nothing shall ever stop-"
"Hey I heard you guys were having fun. Now stop having fun!" Monokuma said angrily
"How did we get outside?! Why is it nighttime?!" Hajime asked
"Now, Monomi and I have a little show for you guys"
"Wait, Monomi's alive?! HOW?! And is that a bomb up there?! Am I seriously the only who asks the logical questions here?!"
"Let's start off this show with a joke. Hey Monomi, what did the Tomato say to the grapes?"
"Um...nothing because those things can't actually talk?" Monomi guessed
...
...
*Monokuma punched Monomi sending her flying*
"Violence is not welcome in a school environment!" Monomi cries as she flies far and far away.
"Well we'll be skipping the jokes because Monomi is such a PARTY POOPER, I won't be beat around this bush anymore. This is a motive to make all of you kill each other" Monokuma said
"A motive...to kill?" Chiaki asks
"Yep. See you guys have your memories stolen by Monomi, so you're not really freshmen. And that there's a traitor in your group"
"Do you honestly believe someone will fall for that?" Peko asks
"Well I do know that one of you really wants to get off this island. So if you want to leave, you gotta kill someone and kill them fast, byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Monokuma then disappeared
...
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"Well f#ck us" Hajime said
THE END!
So, what do you guys think? Is there anything I could improve on? Let me know! And I'll see you again for more Dangan Ropa 2 Abridged! BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!