Author's note: Many thanks to my colleague flyingarrow for her fun yet hard work in creating Legolas. This is from an ongoing roleplay session between us and I decided to try it out, see how everyone likes it. I don't usually write in first person or present tense, so it's a bit different for me.

I despise Mirkwood. So dark and dim. Every step I take, the trees feel as though they are about to encroach upon my perfect hair. I finally arrive at the gate to Mirkwood Palace after many days in this wretched, despised place. "Hail Eryn Lasgalen! Haldir of Lothlórien is here!"

Legolas walks out. "Greetings," he scowls.

I feel the urge to curse but refrain, like any good elf. "Legolas Greenleaf. I might have known. Are you going to stand there glaring at me or let me in?"

"Prove you are supposed to be here first," he demands.

I hold out a package tied with blue ribbon, having expected to be challenged. "These are the letters King Thranduil and Lady Galadriel exchanged."

He takes them, and looks through them for a bit. "Alright." He opens the gate, and points in.

"Thank you," I scowl, not really grateful.

He glares, watching me enter.

I go to see the Elvenking, who is kind at least. I must admit he serves as a gracious host. After I learn my instructions, he tells me to take a break, relax. Naturally, I wander into their esteemed gardens, hoping for some relief of the oppressive Mirkwood air.

Legolas had gone to his secret garden as soon as I entered the throne room. He is there now and continues reading, unaware of anyone walking up.

I find a curious place in the ivy and naturally walk through. I halt when I see Legolas at his book. Hhhmmm. Perhaps I could at least scare him for being rude. I hide and draw my bow, shooting an arrow inches from his face.

He yelps, falling backwards, and dropping the book, lands on his spoiled little royal bum.

I attempt to hide my smirking chuckles. A minute later, after regaining my composure, I head towards Legolas. "Are you alright? I heard a noise."

"No, you idiot!" he snorts, getting up and scowling. "I almost got shot!"

"Oh dear!" I fake surprise. "Did you get hurt?"

"No, but almost! And you are going to pay!" he hisses.

"What? Whatever are you talking about, prince?" I again pretend to know nothing, secretly enjoying this.

"You tried to shoot me!" He draws a dagger and points it in my face.

I stand there, ignoring the measly weapon. "Now why would I do a thing like that?"

"I do not know, but," he holds up my arrow, "this matches the ones in your quiver!"

"Why so it does. How curious." This puny little Elvenprince doesn't scare me at all, yet evidently he holds some fear of me. That gives me more satisfaction than it should.

"Yes, and I should shoot you back!" he snarls, glaring.

I smile. "How about we have a sword fight instead?"

He yanks out his sword. "You have no clue!" He takes a step back.

I continue smiling as I whip out my sword. "I have no clue about what?"

"How bad you are gonna lose!"

I can't help but laugh as I thrust my sword forward. "They teach swordplay in Lorien too, prince."

"Yes, but better here!" He blocks the blow, dancing out of the way.

"Ha. Just because I didn't have your father as a teacher doesn't mean I don't know my stuff." I lunge and clash swords, enjoying the cling they make.

He glares and fights back, increasing his speed, hoping to overwhelm me.

I continue my thrusts. This little prince knows nothing. I'm sure I have more strength and endurance than he.

He bites his bottom lip and keeps going, but I can tell he's beginning to tire.

I inwardly smile, sensing this little prince is going down. I choose to keep toying with him, waiting to seize the moment and disarm him.

He flips his wrist at the wrong time, and pops it. Wincing, he keeps fighting, slower though.

I see my chance. With as much speed and stealth as I can muster, I whip my sword in such a manner as to flick my opponent's blade right out of his hand, smiling as it lands on the ground. I pick it up and present it to him, hilt towards him. "Well fought, Greenleaf."

He glares. "You cheated."

"How so?" I retort.

"No one has ever beat me at swordplay."

"Well, I just did, so you can't say that anymore. And doesn't your father beat you every single time?" I can't help but gloat over my victory.

"He taught me, that's all. He never spars with me anymore."

"I see." I grow more serious as I see him favoring his wrist. "Have I harmed you? That truly was not my intention."

"I think you lie." He cradles it against his chest. "You hate me. Why would you want to question my wellbeing? You did try to shoot me!"

"I merely meant to scare you a bit. Let me at least walk you to the healers' so that you can be tended. I am sorry, even if you don't believe me."

"I will not walk you anywhere, especially not to the healers," he snaps.

"Fine. But you really should see someone about your injury."

"I will! You can count on it!"

I walk out of the garden, my stride proud. I decide to find my room and read for a bit.

Legolas heads straight to the throne room, my arrow in his hand.

King Thranduil stands as his son enters. "Ionnin, what is wrong?"

"That, that orc scum from Lorien tried to murder me!" he shouts.

Thranduil glares. "I will not have cursing in my kingdom, Legolas! Now calm down, lower your voice, and tell me exactly what happened. Your mouth both can and will be washed out with soap if you do not behave!"

"I was sitting in the garden, reading, minding my own business, when this," He holds up the arrow, "came flying at me, and inch from my face!"*

His face hardens. "And you know for certain that Haldir of Lorien shot it?"

"He walked up, smirking! This is the same as the ones in his quiver!"

"I see. And what happened to your wrist?"

"He challenged me to a sword fight. I accepted it. He managed to injure me!"

"Go see the healers and get it tended. Make sure they give you some tea. I will deal with Haldir."

"Yes, Ada." He turns and starts walking stiffly to the healers.

Thranduil summons me. I cringe when Feren gets me and tells me the problem. The Elvenking sentences me to keep the spiders at bay for two weeks, knowing full well how I detest the forest.

The next day, Legolas sits mending his quiver. He watches cautiously as I walk by, something I somehow remain oblivious to. I stride into the forest at the back of the other elves, dreading this punishment. I loathe spiders of any size.

He follows, just to see what happens.

I do not like this. Not one bit. I try to keep my body loose where I am tense with dislike. At least the other elves are friendly, unlike that rotten Legolas.

He hides perfectly, watching.

I slay my first spider, feeling rather proud of myself as I poke out its eyes and blind it before thrusting my sword into its soft belly.

He raises one eyebrow. Not bad for a mere guard who has never seen these monsters before.

I help slay seven more spiders, then wander away from the other elves. I am exhausted and want a bath. Now. Actually, make that ten minutes ago after the very first nasty arachnid foe.

Legolas suddenly drops in front of me. "Not bad, for a silly guard!" he taunts.

I inwardly growl. "I noticed you did not slay anything but let us do the dirty work. Can't risk getting spiderwebs in that perfect hair."

"I'm off, because of you. I can't fight. I'm not allowed!" he hisses, holding up his wrist, which is in a cast. "You!" He shoves me with his good hand. "Broke it."

My mouth forms a perfect O. "I'm sorry. I honestly did not mean to do that."

"Yeah right!" he snorts. "Don't lie. Just admit it already!"

"I seriously did not mean it. While I dislike you and you are the last elf in Arda with whom I wish to be, I did not intend to harm you."

He snorts again. "Prove it."

"Fine. What would you like from Lorien? Or do you hate is as much as I hate Mirkwood?"

"How about," he smirks, "one of the Lady's dresses!"

"Fine. I will ask and see. Whatever would you do with it? You'd look horrid in a dress."

"Not to wear, but for you to prove yourself!"

"Ah, I see. For your little girlfriend then. She's just dying for something that special."

"How would you know?

"Because all women like pretty things."

"I have no girlfriend. Just get it for me."

"I will," I promise.

"Good."