Author Note: I began this story in the ninth grade. This is my millionth time editing it. I'm not very happy with the plot, but I'd like to finish what I started so long ago. I hope you enjoy this.
Summary: [S&S] Sakura's stepfather is less than kind. Syaoran is thrust into the situation, changing things beyond repair. All they want is to find hope. [Contains lemon and other mature content.]
Warning(s): Not beta'd.
Disclaimer: I don't own CCS.
Rated: M for meow, uh, mature.
Last Edited: May 2010
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Find Hope
Chapter One: Unwanted Attention
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A young girl sat at a pale wooden desk by a window, her eyes staring blankly at a blissfully tranquil blue sky. Emerald eyes moved up and down, side to side, following the carefree flight of a bird. She understood that somewhere in the room, a teacher was standing, speaking, attempting to force knowledge into the students surrounding her, and that was fine. As long as the monotonous and strangely nasal lecture remained constant in the background, she was free to daydream.
The class rolled on with the uneasy movement of an overturned bottle of spoiled milk. It would drag on slowly for a while, convincing her that time itself had slowed to a crawl and that every movement she made would be like forcing her limbs though a thick and sludge-like jelly. Then that particular chunk of coagulated milk would pass by the lip of the bottle, and liquid-like, time would splatter forcefully forward, thrusting her painfully back into real time, head spinning from whiplash. It usually resulted in a tongue-lashing for not paying attention.
If only the teacher, an older woman with dark hair, would make her voice a bit less monotonous. The girl's eyes drooped shut, and her breathing slowed, evening out. The woman's voice was loud, yes, but not inflected in the least. It was almost lulling, soothing in its monotony. She wondered how the other students learned anything, how any of them could keep from falling for the siren call of sleep. It was a wonder the teacher still had her job. If she wanted to, the girl figured she could stand in front of the class and teach the course herself. She'd just have to read notes word for word off of a sheet in the most dull and dreary voice she could muster.
If it was her though, she'd make it a hell of a lot more interesting. She'd be the opposite of monotonous. She'd make an unconventional pause or two, catch everyone by surprise. Use visual aids: charts and graphs and pictures of half-naked people in compromising situations. She'd bring in a CD player if she had to. Hell, she'd rap the damn lectures if it would get the information past the students' dull eyes, through their thick skulls, and into their damp, sponge-like brains.
The lyrics of a song heard long ago trailed about in her head, and she nodded lazily in tune with the beat. Her gaze zoned in on a flock of birds outside the classroom and she watched them wistfully. They were probably headed back home.
Pushing a stray strand of hair back behind her ear, she froze. She was still stuck in the jelly-like ooze of slow-motion and, unfortunately for her, the class had rushed forward into real time. The piercing nasal droning she had tuned out was gone.
"Well, Kinomoto-san?"
Kinomoto Sakura moved her eyes away from the window with great reluctance, tilting her head toward the rest of the class. Sinako-sensei was staring right at her through her thick-rimmed designer glasses while the rest of the class snickered.
Sinako-sensei must have asked a question.
But what question?
Her eyes flew to the board for a clue, but no luck: the board was bare. She bit her lip and exhaled hard. She was going to get in shit if she got detention again. Her stepfather had warned her of the consequences. A shudder ran down her spine, and she licked her lips nervously, eyes darting about the class.
She definitely did not want that to happen again.
She opened her mouth, shut it, and coughed loudly into her clasped hands. She now had the attention of the full class. Eyes, all of them shining with malicious interest, stared back at her. Many of the faces were locked in identical smirks. No one here would help her. Not that she blamed them. High school was like a jungle: those who were sick or outcasts were quickly singled out and jumped upon.
She cleared her throat, trying to buy herself some time. Quickly, she ran through her options. The board was a bust and the overhead projector was turned off. The seat next to her was empty, leaving her with no notes to sneak a peek at.
There was only one option left. She had to make something up. What were the odds of her being correct? One in twelve billion?
For a second, she struggled to recall what class she was in, and mentally slapped herself. Freezing up was not going to help!
"Um," was all that escaped her normally still lips.
How intelligent. She must have been blowing them away with her extensive vocabulary and exemplary conversational skills. She should get a prize. Or a trophy. Perhaps a plaque?
"We are waiting Kinomoto-san," said Sinako-sensei. "Is it that you do not know the answer?" Dull pink lips curled up into a sad smile that didn't reach the teacher's eyes. "I will have to give you a detention in that case."
The woman could be so cruel with her flat voice and dull eyes. Sakura thought that Sinako-sensei enjoyed giving out detentions. Not because she enjoyed punishing students, but because the teacher truly thought she was doing the right thing. And Sinako-sensei would always do the right thing, regardless of what it entailed.
Sakura felt herself blush under the combined scrutiny of the teacher and her fellow classmates. She tried desperately to recall what Sinako-sensei had been rambling about earlier.
"Um, Sinako-sensei, the--" She panicked, the words caught in the back of her throat. She tried to begin again, her voice a throaty whisper. "The answer is… um…."
Simple or complex? She had no idea. Fuck.
"Kinomoto-san, if you will please stop stalling?" Two people in the back of the class guffawed loudly, and a threesome of girls wearing too much make-up tittered loudly in a corner. The ringleader, a girl with eyelashes so thick, Sakura wondered if it hurt to blink, pulled out a nail file and sneered in her direction.
Sakura clenched her teeth tightly, trying in vain to control her blushing. She must have looked like a tomato. "Sorry, Sinako-sensei," she whispered, the words coming out fast, too fast, slurring over each other. "The answer, the answer is--"
There was a loud banging at the door.
Sinako-sensei turned her head, raising one well-groomed brow. She glided toward the door, heels click-clacking their way up the aisle and, thankfully, away from Sakura.
Sakura breathed out a sigh of relief, dropping her head down to the cool surface of her desk. It felt good against her flushed skin. There was a collective sigh from the students as they realized their fun was over. They turned and twisted in their desks, breaking up into their small cliques, and began whispering amongst themselves, sneaking sidelong glances at Sakura.
She stared blankly at Sinako-sensei's figure at the door, trying to calm herself as she listened to her own hurried breaths. An office assistant must have come by with a message. She thanked them silently, hoping that the small distraction would cause Sinako-sensei to forget about her. The class's chatter grew louder as the teacher remained outside.
She turned to face the window again, placing her attention on another flock of birds. She supposed she'd never know the identity of her saviour. Not that it was a big deal; it wasn't like she'd been drowning and then been dragged out to safety, air pressed in through her lips and forced into her body. No, nothing so direct as that. But the possible repercussions of landing a detention would have been harsh. It wasn't like her saviour had known they had been saving her either. She watched as the birds flew above the school, up and out of her line of sight.
"Well," Sinako-sensei's voice cut through her thoughts like a hot knife through a three-layer ice cream cake. Delicious. She jerked her head to Sinako-sensei's general direction, and tried to force herself to pay attention. She couldn't afford to get detention. Could not, could not. Especially not after she'd been saved. She just had to pay attention and keep a low profile for the rest of the class. Pay attention and keep a low profile. Yes, pay attention… Pay attention and – was that a bird outside? Somehow her head had turned without her knowing.
She sighed. It was just a paper bag flapping in the wind.
Why was paying attention so difficult?
She turned back to Sinako-sensei. There was someone new standing next to her.
"There is a new student, it seems," Sinako-sensei announced. "He is originally from China, but has been living in Japan for quite some time, now." She turned her head apologetically to the slender youth standing next to her, "I seem to have forgotten your name."
"Li Syaoran?" The words tumbled out of Sakura's mouth in a choked whisper, loud in the now silent classroom. Eyes widening, she instantly regretted her words. Again, she kicked herself mentally. Way to keep a low profile.
"What is this?" asked Sinako-sensei, cocking an eyebrow. "Did the ever-silent Kinomoto-san speak without being called upon?" The class sniggered and Sakura could feel her cheeks flushing again. She deserved the "ever-silent" title, having fought hard not to speak unless absolutely necessary. Her mouth was dry and she swallowed against the lump growing in the back of her throat.
"It is far too bad that the first time you say anything that you're incorrect." Sinako-sensei's sad smile returned and she turned to the brown-haired boy, "What is your name, young man?"
"Li Syaoran," answered the boy, his face blank, body still. He gave off the feeling of wanting nothing more than to sit down and fall asleep. His eyes were half-shut, and a frown grew on his face as the class's snickering quieted.
It was Sinako-sensei's turn to blush. "Young man," she spoke, her voice rising. "Do not be cheeky with me. What is your name?"
"Li Syaoran." He was now staring at the teacher, him head and shoulders taller than her in her three inch heels.
Sakura sighed. What had she started?
"As this is your first time in my classroom, I will excuse you for your actions. Now listen to me carefully." Sinako-sensei took a deep breath, and enunciated her following words slowly and clearly. "What… is… your... name?"
"Li … Syao… Ran." He gestured at her, hands moving in the air as he spoke his next words. "Do you… want me… to re-peat that?" He smiled, and Sakura swore her heart skipped a beat. "Want me to write it out?"
By this point, Sinako-sensei was doing a very good impression of Sakura at her most flustered. "Give me your schedule! I will not tolerate this insolence!" She snatched a fistful of papers from his hands, throwing him a dirty look before glancing down to read. "Go to the office, Li Syao--" The blood rushed from her face, leaving her skin mottled pink and white. "Ran."
"Of course, sensei," Syaoran smirked. "If you would please give back my papers?" He held out one hand expectantly.
Sinako-sensei brusquely shoved the papers back into his hands. "Never mind about that! Go to your desk! Sit next to Kinomoto-san. And you better not do anything stupid! I will not tolerate stupidity in this classroom!" She shifted on her heels, turning to the class, and adjusted her shirt as her face twitched angrily. Sinako-sensei rarely encountered trouble in her classroom; the boredom she was capable of inducing usually stifled any possible stupidity. It was hard to act out when all you wanted to do was repeatedly slam your head into your desk.
Syaoran continued to stand at the front of the room, tugging lightly at the collar of his shirt.
"Why are you still here?" asked the teacher heatedly, her face starting to colour again. "Why have you not taken your seat?"
The youth sighed and brushed long bangs out of his eyes. "If I knew who Kinomoto-san was, then maybe I would sit down."
"Kinomoto! Raise your hand!" Sakura raised an arm half-heartedly and flapped her hand. Sinako-sensei gestured toward her. "There! Your seat is there."
She turned quickly to the board and began to scrawl quickly across its surface, the words almost unreadable. She paused, exhaling loudly, and shook out her shoulders before erasing all that she had written. Turning around, she went right back into her lecture, her embarrassment seemingly forgotten.
Syaoran took his time walking down the aisle, gazing about the class, taking in the students. His swagger caught the eyes of the threesome in the front corner and the curious stares of the boys in the back of the room. He slid smoothly into his seat, and turned his head to look at Sakura. She wasn't taking any notes; she didn't even have a notebook in front of her.
Her short auburn hair fell all over the place, framing her face well. Her head was turned away from him so he couldn't see her pouting pink lips, her sparkling emerald eyes, or her pert, little nose. She was wearing something around her neck (a necklace?). He could see it peeking out through her hair. Her slinky, black shirt revealed her pale milky shoulders, but covered both arms. She wore baggy, black jeans that were held up by a silver belt made of criss-crossing wires. As he had walked to his seat, he had noticed that her jeans were tucked into her slender boots… her slender, black, high-heeled boots.
She looked the same as she had the last time he'd seen her: absolutely perfect and yet so distant. Like a damsel in distress, waiting for a knight to come save her from a dragon. A really bored damsel in distress with a wickedly dangerous dragon living just inside her castle.
He wondered if she had a boyfriend. He hoped not.
He mentally smacked himself at that thought. Thoroughly disgusted with himself, he shook his head and turned his eyes to the front of the class. The droning voice of the teacher was difficult to pay attention to, but he had always loved a challenge.
Sakura felt his eyes leave her. She wondered why he was staring at her so intently. Were her clothes dirty? Or maybe someone had taped another note to her back? Had he… forgotten what she looked like? His memory must have been even worse than hers. Bad as her memory was, she didn't think she could ever forget him.
She pictured him as she stared out the window. He had chocolate brown hair and eyes to match. His face was always serious, but his lips kept falling at the corners when he thought no one was watching. So sad, but trying to hide it. He was quiet, or, at least he was with her. Looking at him now, she knew he was going to be really popular. He had the looks, the clothes, and the attitude. And he was the new kid. He was going to have it easy. Even if he had a terrible personality; the girls would just hound him even more.
Why was she thinking about him?
She sighed loudly.
"Kinomoto-san? Is there something wrong with what I just said?" asked Sinako-sensei.
Short auburn hair fell gently into eyes, making her blink excessively as she turned quickly to see the teacher staring at her once more. Sakura flushed pink again and wondered what she had done to deserve so much attention today. She'd been called on in every other class, but had managed to worm her way out of speaking as other smarter and much more keen students blurted out answers when she was too slow. There was no chance of that here, where the students weren't grouped according to achievement levels.
She hated the fact that she blushed so easily. It was annoying at the best of times. She shot an innocent smile at Sinako-sensei, and the teacher narrowed her eyes.
Oh, too smooth. Freak the teacher out, why don't you? That'll really help you lie low.
"You don't mind telling me what I just said, do you?" Sinako-sensei's eyes were dead and black, and she was itching for a way to relieve some of her irritation.
"Um, no?" Her voice was hesitant and her mind blank. No, not when she was so close! Not when she had already gotten away so many times. Someone wanted her to get in trouble.
She started panicking again, her heart already hammering like a jackhammer. Any faster, and she was sure it would rush right out of her chest and up into the teacher's face. Maybe, maybe another new student would decide to show up? She shut her eyes and wished as hard as she could.
"All right then. Please repeat what I said to the class."
Damn. No new transfer student.
She took a deep breath, and was ready to pretend to faint (the only other option she could think of) when Syaoran slid his notes discreetly to her side of the desk.
"Ohm's law," she whispered, her face as red as it could possibly go.
"What of it?"
"I… I is over…" Sakura took a deep breath and started again, face down this time, talking quietly at her desk. "I is equal to V over A."
Sinako-sensei grunted uncharacteristically. "Correct."
The bell rang, signalling the end of yet another tedious school day. A collective sigh was exhaled as the students began to pack their things, grateful for living through another one of Sinako-sensei's tiresome lectures.
"Do not forget your homework," intoned Sinako-sensei, before gathering her own papers and leaving the classroom.
Sakura moved surprisingly slow, seeing as how she had nothing to pack up. She and Syaoran left the class at the same time. Their classmates were already all gone, having rushed to their lockers at the other side of the school.
They fell into step with each other as they strolled down the crowded halls of the school. All around them were younger students, not many of which Sakura knew. But they all knew her. Or of her, at least.
Syaoran licked his lips before speaking. "Is she always so uptight? Or is it just me?"
"Not you," Sakura answered, voice still not louder than a whisper. Her bangs fell right into her eyes; every time she blinked, they moved. She needed a haircut. "I have to get home, now," she said, speeding up and sliding through a group of students headed in the other direction. Not that she needed to slide through; a space seemed to open up wherever she went. Syaoran wondered if all the students were so deferential. It was nice to move without bumping into people all the time.
"I'll give you a ride," he said, glancing at her again. "I have to pick some stuff up first, though."
She wondered why he was talking to her in public. It wasn't like they weren't going to have more than enough chances to talk at home. That was, if talking was what he wanted to do. There was no point in him hanging out with her in public. No reason for him to be associated with her, for him to be labelled outcast as well.
She hoped things would be better now, at home, now that he was there. It was… good… to have someone else around. A part of her wished he would hang out with her even in public, but she knew that was a selfish thought. It should have been more than enough to just have him at home with her. She should have been grateful for that.
"No," she said, shooting him a small smile before ducking behind two particularly large freshmen. "I have to get there first."
Syaoran moved to grab her, stop her, attempt to convince her that she should take the ride, but she slid away from him before he could try. She made her way through the crowds that let her pass by with ease. He, however, was stuck, the students refusing to give him the space they gave her. He was jostled and bumped more than once as he tried in vain to catch up to her. He made his way to the open double doors of the entrance, and searched for her, his eyes desperately scanning the swarm of students. When he finally caught sight of her, she was far away, walking briskly down the street, a path carved out for her wherever she went.
She should have accepted the ride, he thought. Even if it was daylight, he didn't think it was safe for a girl to walk home by herself. It was a long walk home from school and bad things could happen to a girl all by herself. Bad things could happen to anyone. He followed her figure with his eyes. It didn't help that she had a nice ass, and a great body.
Shocked by his sudden train of thought, he shook his head as he made his way to the car. He'd been given it this morning, so that he could pick up some groceries.
He couldn't think of her like that. Wouldn't think of her like that. It wasn't right.
He got into his car and as he drove away, he thought of the new information he had learned of her today. Her last name, "Kinomoto". He laughed. It was a strange thing to not know, especially since they were living together now. A strange thing indeed.
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Thanks for reading. :3