Eric Foreman's Basement-

"You know, my dear friends… sometimes, when I'm all alone, wondering about life's wonders and God's creations, I ask myself: 'Is there anything in this world that is better than candy?' Fez said, after licking his lollipop. Eric, Hyde, and Donna rolled their eyes at him, while Kelso just laughed like an airhead. "But then I find myself remembering sex, and my question is answered," Fez finished, his lips in a flat line now. The rest of the gang was chuckling now. Kelso was at the other side of the room, sitting on top of the washing machine. He was laughing stupidly, pointing at Fez with one hand, and holding an icicle with the other. "I know, man! Sucks to be you… a virgin. Ha!"The thought of this made Kelso laugh. " Hey, hey! Fez, imagine doing it and eating candy at the same time," Kelso said.

"Kelso. Hyde began in that dry tone of his. "You'd probably choke or something. I mean who eats while doing it?" Hyde wondered.

"Yeah, plus, it would probably get in the wrong places and stuff." Eric said.

"Mhmm, not a good experience at all." Donna uttered.

"Well, how do you know how bad the experience is, you little rascals? Been naughty lately, huh?" Fez raised his eyebrows as he teased Donna and Eric.

"Shut up, Fez… Just… eat candy or, something." Eric tried to avoid the subject.

Just when Hyde opened his mouth to say something, the door flew open as Jackie made an entrance.

"Michael! I need you to come shopping with me today, there's a shoe sale at Macy's, we have to go. Please, please, please." Jackie pleaded.

"Aww, Jackie! Please, no." Kelso whined like a little kid.

"Ooh, ooh, I'll go!" Fez said waving his hand in the air. Jackie ignored him.

"Michael, come on, we'll get some cotton candy along the way."

"Oh, so he gets to be your boyfriend, go shopping and get some candy too? You son of a bitch!" Fez argued as he looked at Michael Kelso.

"You know what, Michael? Never mind, I'll just take Donna with me. Won't I, Donna?" Jackie said defiantly.

"Do I get a free pair?" Donna asked. Jackie rolled her eyes. "Yes, Donna, but they have to be on discount!" she warned.

"Yeah!" Donna exclaimed. "See you, suckers. I'm getting new shoes!" Donna said to the rest of the gang, then kissed Eric goodbye. Kelso was relieved to see Jackie finally leaving him alone.

"Yay! Come on, let's go!" Jackie said as she was leaving the room with her girl friend, or at least she thought she was her friend. Not that Donna hung out with her to get new shoes or anything. As she was almost gone, Jackie blurted, "Ooh, Michael! I almost forgot… Can I have some money?"

"Whaat?" Michael sounded surprised. "Jackie, you're the one with the cash in this relationship! Not me!" he said. "Fine, then. So to make it up to me, you'll come with me next weekend to bake some pies with your mom, okay, sweetie?" Jackie voiced. Hyde and Eric began laughing hysterically. "Man, I would so pay to see that." Hyde said as he and Eric punched fists together. Kelso ignored them. "Ugh! Fine, Jackie!" Kelso whined.

"Oh, and I almost forgot! My little cousin came to visit, so I'll leave it to you to take care of her, okay?"

Before Kelso could reply, Jackie had already went to get her cousin and brought her over to the basement. "Okay, everyone!" Jackie said annoyingly, with an arm around her 8 year old cousin's shoulder. "This is Jessie," she said.

"I told you, it's Josie!" the little girl replied.

"Oh…" Jackie shook her head. "Yeah, whatever."

"Okay, so… Michael, Josie. Josie, Michael." Jackie said as she moved her palm from Kelso to Josie.

Kelso held his hand out, Josie shook it as he introduced himself. "Why, hello Josie. I'm Michael Kelso, nineteen years old, virgo, and as you can see… incredibly good-looking," Kelso said running his fingers through his hair. "Yeah, too bad you've got all that…" Josie said, drawing an imaginary circle around Kelso's face, "And you're missing all this." She took out a ten dollar bill.

Kelso's expression changed into a frown.

"Well, you two kids have fun. Bye, baby," Jackie kissed Kelso, and closed the door behind her.

Kelso was just not good at baby-sitting, and we all know he's one of the most—if not the most—irresponsible person in the whole group. So if he could barely take care of himself, what was he going to do with this kid? He decided to go tell Jackie he refused to do this. But as he tried to leave the basement, the door wouldn't open. "Eric, Eric…" Kelso said, shaking the door knob. "This won't open."

"What? Dude, back off you're going to make it worse. Let me see that," Eric said. He attempted to pull, push, and do maneuvers on the door, but nothing worked. He pulled and pulled, until—Shit—Eric thought. He pulled the door knob off. They were stuck. "Dude, no way." Kelso said. Hyde ran to the door on top of the stairs. Locked. Damn. "Fez, what the hell am I going to do with an eight-year-old in here?" Kelso whispered in Fez's ear. "Candy?" Fez offered with a smile. "Aww, man this cannot be happening. My pie's baking upstairs, it will totally screw up." Eric said. Everyone shot weird looks at him. "I mean… umm… Do—Donn, Donna's pie. Yeah, It's Donna's, she made it for me, and I'm going to… eat it. Yeah," Eric lied to them. Hyde, Fez, Eric and Kelso sat down in the couch, knowing they would stay there until Kitty, Red, or the girls came home. Which was God knew when. They wouldn't get high right now, at least not with the kid around. Hyde broke the silence. "So…" he said looking at Josie. "What do you want to do in this fun-filled place, Josie?"

She shrugged. "Michael…"

"Yeah?" he answered.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Mmmhm."

"Where do babies come from?"

Hyde, Eric, Kelso and Fez looked at each other, eyes widened. What the hell were they going to do?

"Candy?" Fez offered Josie.