Characters: Baki, Temari
Summary: God, that dress.
Pairings: None
Author's Note: This is, of course, referring to the dress Temari wears when she first appears in Part I. Considering how impractical both of her Part I outfits were and considering that Temari is usually a pretty practical girl, I like to think she just wore them to Konoha to look sharp in front of the foreigners. On the off chance that she didn't, this oneshot arose.
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
Baki pinches the bridge of his nose and wonders about two things that he often finds himself wondering these days: Where's the sake, and why on Earth did he ever acquiesce to the Kazekage's request to take on his children as a genin cell?
It's not Gaara's blood-soaked rampages that are making Baki have these thoughts. It's not even Kankuro's disobedience or tendency towards locking himself up in his workshop. If only it were just that; those are the sorts of problems Baki can handle.
No, it's not that.
Instead, the source of Baki's current headache and his desire to drown sense in sake is Temari and her choice of outfit.
"For God's sake, Temari, you can't go out in the desert in that dress!"
"Watch me."
Yeah, he watched her. Baki has watched his kunoichi student march out into the desert and stomp around Suna in that dress and the only thing that's stopped him from showing up to training with a ceramic bottle hidden in his flak jacket are a few well-timed glares from the Kazekage's direction.
It's completely unreasonable.
First off, she's exposed entirely too much skin. Baki doesn't care if the wielder of an iron fan needs less restrictive clothing for freer range of movement. Temari's mother handled that fan for years and she always found ways to make sure her skin was protected against the sun. Temari isn't like Gaara, who could spend a week out in the desert naked and never burn thanks to the Shukaku's influence. Her skin will burn, given time, and Baki really doesn't want to be the one explaining to the Kazekage how his only daughter got sun poisoning.
The color's impractical. Yes, Temari's virtually invisible at night, but that's more due to the fact that the desert gets, well, dark at night and that Temari's surprisingly good at stealth, all things considered. Anywhere she goes during the daylight hours the color of her dress will make Temari stick out like a sore thumb. She has to know that, and yet she still insists on wearing that lavender dress.
Most importantly… Frankly, this is the real reason Baki wants to get soused every night after finishing training:
A twelve-year-old should not be running around Suna in that grown of a dress, especially not if she looks older than her years to start with. Temari's still young enough yet that she doesn't have a full understanding of adult sexuality, but there are plenty roaming the streets who do. No one could tell that Temari's only twelve years old when she wears that dress, and Baki's getting ready to whip out the stick to beat off admirers years before he thought he'd have to.
God, that dress. What a nightmare. It's even more of a nightmare seeing as he can't outright say no to Temari thanks to her rank (at least not over matters of her clothing). Well, he can, but he can't force her to change her clothing and Temari knows it.
Baki decides that, instead of searching his house to figure out where his wife hid the liquor, he'll head off to the nearest bar. Yes he'll have to pay for the sake but at least he'll have sake.
And tomorrow, or whenever the hangover wears off, Baki's going to see if he can't get Temari to invest in some slacks.