HEYO! Okay so… I'm gonnna try and write this. I can't promise if it'll be any good. It probably will be mediocre and then gradually make its way to passable. I'm game for either or. I've been day dreaming lately and reading a lot of merlin fan fiction because the show has not met my needs for whump. So more often then not I make up my own shit or I find someone else who made their own.

I DO NOT OWN MERLIN… If I did you bet your ass I would ship merthur so hard it'd make all of our heads spin.

okay so lets get to the story~

Chapter 1: Memories of a halfbreed

The grass never seemed to amaze her. Although she'd be the first one to admit that she was amazed very easily. She couldn't help but notice that despite the countless number of winters the grass had endured it still managed to gleam that beautiful vibrant hue around this time every year.

Grass was one bad ass motherfucker.

Smiling brightly to herself, she let her mind wander. It had been a while since she found herself able to truly smile. The periods between her wards always left a bitter taste of melancholy. Her little brother had left the nest. He had parted ways with her sometime back two springs ago. He had always dreamed of a journey across the wide lands before him.

Although she had taken him everywhere as a young boy.

Anywhere and everywhere he wanted to go.

She took him.

Without complaint.

Full of love

And yet.

He still wanted to leave her.

He was no longer a boy, but now a handsome young man. Although she was towered(..superior) over him in many ways, age being one of them, wisdom another, and navigation a third, he wanted to explore lands by himself…. without her guidance. He wanted to meet new people, see things through his own eyes, and become strong enough to help others who needed it. Just like his big sister.

It never got easier to see them leave. He was around the age that they'd normally break away from her. She had been fearing it, for it seemed although she had had countless wards before him; he struck her heart in a definite way. He reminded her of the reason she started this new life.

. . .

Back before the kingdoms had formed. Humans and Dragons lived in near harmony. There was some limitations to their relationship. She had been the first, and currently is the last halfbreed between the two. She wasn't very much accepted back then either. As the world unfolded before her, she realized her story was no different than any other halfbreed. Feared by one half, hated and shunned by the other. She was never really accepted in full by either side.

To be honest it did hurt, until he was born. A day filled with tragedy and joy. Her mother had a baby boy, more human than dragon. Although his district features proved to much for their dear mother. She had bled to death after the birth. Unlike his big sister, his wings were not retractable. A detrimental characteristic. He was also not born in an egg. She had been born in an egg. Her name had been given to her by her mothers dearest friend, Elias, a Dragon Lord. He had named her Emily. A name not often heard, especially in the dragon tongue. Emily, he'd heard through word of mouth meaning 'Rival', the translation being 'silah'. The moment he saw her encased and hidden from the world he knew she'd be a spitfire. With her parents species split, he also knew she'd have to be a fighter. He gave her a name to hold onto because she would have to crawl her way to be considered an equal on either side.

Her new baby brother on the other hand. Had no egg that needed a dragon lords voice to crack. He simply opened his eyes and cried big blubbery tears. Emily held him close. Sitting by her mother as she watched the light leave her eyes. It wasn't a foreign concept to her, but she was still too young to understand what it truly meant when the light left someones eyes. The adults in the room understood. Knowing there wasn't that could be done stood back and allowed the moment to continue. Normally magic could fix many ailments, but during this birth was different. It wasn't the normal human baby tearing. Wings had opened and much damage was done.

He was beautiful regardless. His hair an earthy brown, and his eyes so dark the reflection of oneself was clear.

"Emily, love, have you a name for him?" her mother smiled warmly.

"Me?! May I really mama!?" she said excitedly, although the sudden movements warned another cry from her new kin. Her mother simply 'mmd' as her strength wained. Emily looked on with concern, but her ocean blue eyes soon traveled down to meet the deep brown of the babes.

"Elias." Emily said softly.

Elias looked up. "Emily? What is it?" confusion accompanied his words.

"Nonono, him. I name his Elias." She said and her smile grew. Her mothers smile seemed to get as true as a smile could be before her face went lax.

The boy was nicknamed Eli by most to avoid confusion. Emily wasn't to keen on the idea. She gave him a name for him to be called by it, why anyone would want to change it simply irritated her, but she went along with it.

He was her joy, her sun, her everything.

She protected him from the world around them. The cruel world who didn't accept them for what they were. Not all were so mean. Some considered them a miracle. She had taught Eli all the magics that had been taught to her.

She was of course the best teacher he could have had…in her own professional opinion that is.

Life had been fairing well. Her mother was gone…. but was she really? Eli and herself both had agreed they always felt a warm presence. A sense of protection that enveloped them when they were sad or scared.

Elias had become that of a second father. Their true father, a dragon himself, had been murdered by a warlock.

That is when life became dangerous. She had always considered her father to be a strong, immortal being. Always to be there for her. When he was ripped away it was agonizing.

Wars started to break out. The dragon lords stayed true to their loyal kin, but the warlocks and witches split to both sides. The humans, on the other hand were also becoming a problem. Their fear turning to hatred as they began to war and battle with one another. They began taking land that was not theirs. Creating kingdoms with rigid laws. Magic was losing it's control. Dragons were becoming the center of all blame. Halfbreeds were considered evil, vial, and highly priced if they're dragon bits were conserved after death.

She could remember the day vividly. It was warm. The sun had been shining. So it was confusing to her as to why Elias had told her to take her brother and Hide.

"Everything will be alright. Take Eli and run. I will meet you by the lake on the other side of the valley." He had been so quite and calm when he said it, but his eyes contradicted his words.

She did as she was told, but Elias never came. A familiar scent and washed over the land.

Eli was frightened. She simply held him close and whispered to him comforting words in their draconic tongue.

They had both fallen asleep. A mistake Emily would always regret.

For when she awoke to the screams, screams so piercing, so painful that agony gripped her heart and crushed it. As her eyes adjusted she saw her kin being torn apart in front of her. His little hands reaching out for her calling her name over and over again.

His wings couldn't retract. Hers could. These idiotic humans wouldn't know that. He can't hide his nature, but she could. It was her job to protect him. She struggled, fought to get to him only to realize she had been tied down.

She yelled for him. Screeched at them to stop. Pleaded that they take her instead. Screamed for Elias. Anyone to help them. They laughed, and roared with malice.

"Ain't no one to save you now Sweetheart!"

"Stupid girl! Whattya think 'ur worth be than a halfbreed!?"

"Ya must kno' the price' dat comes on these wings?! We won't go hungry again!"

Bandits. Awful, terrible, vial, disgusting, human bandits.

Elias had gone quite. His eyes had no life in them. She never saw it left. She didn't get to say goodbye. She couldn't save him.

She had gone blind for all she could see was red.

…

When she came to there was blood coating the trees around her. Night had fallen but the moonlight gleamed off the soaked ground. Bandit bodies surrounded her. That's what that familiar smell was.

Death.

Destruction.

Blood.

She was coated in a thick layer of it. Her eyes traveled from down to the center where a small body laid. One wing crooked and torn, as if someone was trying to rip it off. The other wing a few feet away.

The eyes of the small figure glassy, cloudy even. She slowly made her way to the boy. She knelt down next to him and gently touched his cheek.

The fear will forever be burned into her memory. He had died with such fear plastered on his face.

She spent many years after that blinded by the anger, by the hatred she had felt for anyone who crossed her path. Didn't matter if they were human, dragon, or magic holding beings.

She hated everyone, and everything.

She killed so many.

It would take years for her to come to her senses. Years for her to truly cry and morn her kin being ripped away from her. Years for the pain, and aguish to subside.

The regret would never leave. The shame, and guilt were permanent.

Rage turned into depression, depression to apathy.

She spent a long time in a gray area. Never living, but only existing.

It took one day for that to change. One cry to drag her back to the world around her. A plea for help from a small voice. A familiar tone.

It was the start of a new beginning.

A time where should would build herself a new life from the shambles of her old one.