Let's Try Something Else / Common Aspects
Brought to you by a certified nut job.
Summary: G1:AU:BU:CU:LOL: This fanfic contains the rare aspects found in Transformers fiction, such as the Decepticons, seekers, Megatron, Starscream, Thunderwarp, Skycracker, Prowl, Jazz, Raoul, SunswipeandSidestreaker, gender change, robots becoming humans, romance, action, drama, giant alien robots and is less than meets the eye. In fact, it's a story about the most popular Transformer in all of TF history: Huffer.
Warning: This fanfic may and/or can offend many kinds of people. Don't read beyond this line if you are easily offended. The under qualified writer will not be responsible for you (the reader), being offended beyond this sentence. If you ARE offended before this sentence, the writer is deeply sorry for your making you angry/sad/hurt/cry/cut/shoulder's hurt.
Rating: May or may definitely contain swear words, impossible but grossly imaginable robotic sex, naked humans, naked Transformers, and other things that don't wear clothes. Not recommended for pregnant mothers, the intellectually challenged, teenagers with obnoxious streaks who repeat memes, the general public and anyone with ass burgers syndrome. It can be declared that this fanfic does NOT contain homosexual references, because robots are not homos –cough-unless they get turned into a humans-cough-
Copyrights:NO ONE OWNS THE TRANSFORMERS EXCEPT TAKARA AND HASBRO (and Tomy?). SRSYL. Unless there is an OC, than that OC belongs to me.
…Yes, yes there is. It's a Huffer X OC fanfic. Shit, the 'bot's going to get laid.
Author's Notes: Forget Huffer, he's an annoying little-
On with the fanfic? Y/N
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Introduction : LMAO
(One day outside the Ark (where no Autobot can swear), Optimus Prime is playing basket ball with his troops, while everyone else with duties reluctantly does them.)
OPTIMUS PRIME: It's a good day to play b-ball, especially when all your opponents are shorter than you.
BUMBLEBEE / CLIFFJUMPER / HUFFER / BRAWN / HEIGHT-CHALLENGED AUTOBOT: Aw, lug nuts!
JET/SKY/PLANE/FIRE: Can we play, Optimus?
OMEGA SUPREME: Omega's participation allowed?
OPTIMUS PRIME: Sorry Omega, your foot will destroy the court, and- (looks at the Autobot's chauffeur / Starscream's ex-B.B.F.) …You. Go sort out your legal name.
SKYFIRE: Well, in the papers I'm called-
OPTIMUS PRIME: Let's play!
((A/N: I don't care about the Autobots lives, so-!) One day inside the Nemesis, we hear someone bellowing for everyone's favourite Decepticon second-in-command…)
MEGATRON: STARSCREAM!!!
STARSCREAM:(Starscream prances into Megatron's room like a little fairy) Like, O.M.G. Megsy! What's wrong NOW?!
MEGATRON: You've pissed me off once again!!!
STARSCREAM: Look honey, if it's about the Construction's failed experiment-
MEGATRON: I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT EXPERIMENT: MARY SUE!
STARSCREAM: Geez, curb the Caps-Lock, n00b!
MEGATRON: I'm talking about Operation: Human Infiltration!
STARSCREAM: (Like, wow, you're so creative with the names of your operations). Look Megsy, if-
MEGATRON: MY NAME IS NOT MEGSY!!!
STARSCREAM: Yeah, well it was a success, you big meanie! You wanted Skywarp to be turned into a human so that boob can infiltrate the human's lifestyle and find their weaknesses, am I right?!
MEGATRON: He is a boob! In fact, he has two!
(Megatron steps aside to reveal a humanised Skywarp. Wearing black and purple, the hot leggy brunette's measurements are 38-26-36 and is very desirable to the imagination.)
STARSCREAM: Well, he's human!
SKYWARP:(Looking at his own breasts) Um, 'cons, if I can I say somethin'?
MEGATRON: 'He's' a FEMALE human!
STARSCREAM: Nothing wrong with that!
SKYWARP:(Feeling his large well-endowed chest appendages) I can't see my feet…(can I inflate them?) (Takes a deep breath)
MEGATRON: He's a MALE Transformer! How did this happen?!
STARSCREAM: Why don't you call the Constructicons and find out instead of shouting at me all the time! Why do you always do this to me! This isn't part of my contract-!
MEGATRON:(Turns a monitor on, with Scrapper coincidentally on the other end of the line) Why is Skywarp a female?!
STARSCREAM:(Building up a bitch-fit) I mean, I do my job, I challenge and prove Megatron's power by trying to seize it…what am I doing wrong?! (Starts crying energon tears)
SCRAPPER: Megatron, our research tells us that female humans are more popular than males, and if we are to infiltrate their society-
MEGATRON: Enough of your scientific gobble-de-gook! Starscream, send out our spy to a human populace immediately-! (Looks around for the red seeker) Starscream? Where is he?!
SKYWARP: Starscream ran back to his room to cry you a river, boss.
(Megatron turns on his communicator to hear Linkin Park playing softly in the background. Megatron catches the sounds of Incoherent snivelling, whimpering and a metal hand pulling tissues to wipe his nose.)
STARSCREAM: Oh, Megatron-! (sniff) Why don't you understand?! (hiccup)
LINKIN PARK: Tired of being what you want me to be, feeling so empty…
STARSCREAM: (sniff) I'm only (sob) want to (honk) see you happy! (BAWL!!!)
LINKIN PARK: Ev'ry step that I take, is another mistake to yoooou-
STARSCREAM: Oh, Chester, you're the only one who understand me! Megatron (sniff) you complete me! I love you…you big hunk of sexy metal-
(At this point both Megatron and Skywarp is greatly disturbed, and Megatron turns his communicator off for the sake of their sanity.)
MEGATRON: I, er…I'll call Soundwave, to er…get Thundercracker to (go pick you up…) (Quickly turns away)
SKYWARP:(Looking away) Okay, yeah, cool, whatever…(eew…)
THUNDERCRACKER:(Walks in) Yes, lord Megatron?
MEGATRON: You! Go send 'twin peaks' here to the nearest human settlement, and drop her off without killing her!
THUNDERCRACKER: Okay, 'Warp-(takes a good look at Skywarp with his optics growing wider)…What's wrong with your chassis?
SKYWARP: I dunno. Maybe they've got some kind of secret weaponry installed in these things, explains why they're so heavy. Must be lead-based.
(Thundercracker picks Skywarp up and carries her to the lift, where he transforms into jet mode and places his humanised comrade into his cockpit)
SKYWARP: 'Con, your seats are preeetty comfy! (Looks around) Hey T.C, what's that sick smell?!
THUNDERCRACKER: What's left of Experiment: Mary Sue. She melted before we I could take off.
SKYWARP: Sick, 'con! She smells like my mom's moosebot liver stew!
THUNDERCRACKER: 'Warp, we're Transformers, we don't have 'mommies'.
SKYWARP: YOU don't have a mom, bastard! LOL!
THUNDERCRACKER: …I'm gonna squash you like a box of puppies.
SKYWARP: I'm sorry.
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A/N: Are you disturbed yet? Yeeeees…