I don't own Hetalia, Hidekaz Himaruya does. I was inspired to do this when I found an old elementary school book about this in my house. This discovery was major news when I was a kid, lol. So I hope you enjoy this fanfic!

P.S. – A few people have asked me this, so I'll clarify it now. I have decided to do a Eurovision 2011 fanfic. The fact that Italy is in the contest this year, and was successful at joining the Big Four, really put a smile on my face. I already have a few ideas for the story based upon all the songs I've heard, so now it's just a matter of who makes it into the final and who wins. Unfortunately BBC America is not broadcasting the contest, so the fanfic will be up maybe a week or two after the contest while I hunt down videos of all the performances. I hope you guys don't mind, though.

My Friend, Ӧtzi

All Austria wanted was a quiet afternoon. Though he was conscious of the fact that the house he lived in wasn't his own home, he felt he didn't ask for much of his…"host".

He'd just bought a CD of some of Johann Georg Albrechtsberger's greatest songs, and set it up in a stereo system Germany had bought a few months ago. He waited for the sweet tune of "Partita No. 1" to flood the room before he took a seat at the couch. He calmly prepared his tea, but before he lifted the cup and saucer he took in the music again in silence and sighed very quietly. Then he lifted the cup to his mouth.

There was no warning. The cup touched his lips when suddenly a stinging sensation erupted on the side of his face. He abruptly set the cup back down to avoid spilling the contents. As he did, a quick flash filled the room.

"GYA-HAHAHAHA!"

Austria turned to see Prussia standing at the door, shrieking with laughter. He held a colorful gun in one hand and a disposable camera in the other. Austria reached up to touch his cheek. His hand encountered several cylindrical objects. He yanked on one of them and it discharged from with his face with a loud 'POP!'. It was a dart.

Prussia had fired a dart gun at him.

"L-Look at your face!" Prussia howled, hugging his sides and leaning against the door frame. "Mein Gott, you look horrible! It's too perfect!" He waved the camera like a victory flag. "And I captured! I got it! I'm going to frame the photo!"

Austria calmly pulled the darts off his cheek, inwardly counting to ten to remain calm. "What do you want?"

Prussia seemed to consider the question for a moment before shrieking with laughter again. "Nothing! This was a perfect moment! And I was lucky enough to catch it!"

Austria nursed his cheek as he stood up. "For someone eager to be home, you certainly don't contribute anything to the household."

Prussia's laughter abruptly died, and he stammered for a moment. Then he laughed again, though not with the same enthusiasm he just had. "But I'm still happier than YOU!"

"What's going on in here?"

Both countries jumped slightly as Germany came into the room behind Prussia. He looked quite irritated. "The yelling in here is echoing throughout the house! What's going on?"

"Prussia is acting like a dummkopf, as usual," Austria sighed, gracefully brushing the hair out of his face. "I can hardly have a moment of peace when he pounces upon me with his childish antics."

Germany sighed heavily and regarded Prussia with a hard look. "Aniki, I'd like to have a little peace in my house, if you don't mind."

"West, I'm having fun!" Prussia snapped indignantly. "Our house needs plenty of fun! Can you blame me for wanting to make up for lost time?"

Germany flinched at this, but Austria only sighed again. It'd been just over two years since Prussia had been released from Russia and the Soviet Union, and allowed to return home. Germany had taken to putting up with his older brother's behavior because they hadn't seen or spoken to each other in over forty years. When Prussia had resumed his tormenting against Austria, Austria had tolerated it because he knew Prussia's time in Russia's house had been…less than pleasant.

But that was two years ago. And Austria wasn't going to tolerate it for all of eternity.

"Just…tone it down," Germany said slowly. "Go steal one of Fucking's signs again, or something."

"Hey!" Austria snapped. He stomped his foot to emphasize his point. "That's not fair to me!"

"Entschuldigen Sie."

All three countries jumped at this soft-spoken voice, and turned towards the door. A servant bowed slightly before she straightened. "There's a phone call for Mr. Austria."

Austria arched an eyebrow. "For me? Who is it?"

"The offices of Paul Keating."

Austria immediately snapped to attention. "T-That's my boss!" he gave the German brothers a slight glance as he hurried to the door. "Excuse me for a moment."

"No problem," Germany said wearily. He waited for the older country to leave the room before he gave Prussia another hard look. "I'm not asking a lot Aniki, but please stop antagonizing him. At least inside the house."

Prussia walked over to the stereo system and ejected the CD. "So you don't care if I bother him outside the house?"

"…Not really, no." Germany took a seat at the couch.

Prussia twirled the CD on his index finger before he extended his arm, as though to throw it like a Frisbee. "Maybe if that snobby aristocrat wasn't such a freeloader, then things would be easier!"

You're one to talk, Germany thought wryly. He immediately regretted the thought though and rubbed his forehead with the back of his hand. "Just…never mind."

Prussia glanced at him briefly before he shrugged. "Okay." He whipped the CD across the room like a Frisbee. It bounced off the wall with a loud 'PING' and clattered to the floor in one piece. "Awwww, it didn't break! Scheiße!"

There was a creak at the door, and the brothers turned to the door. Austria entered the room very calmly, closing the behind him. He didn't seem to notice his CD lying beside the wall. His expression was…strange. He looked between the two brothers in silence for a long moment.

"What is it?" Germany asked finally.

Austria fiddled with his hands awkwardly in front of himself for a moment before he spoke. "…I found a mummy."

Germany and Prussia gaped at him. "…You what?" Germany asked.

"It was first thought by both his finders, and the local authorities, that this body was simply an unfortunate hiker. This is reasonable, considering how many mountain climbers are lost to the Ӧtztal Alps yearly. After closer examination though, we realize that this one was…different."

Austria carefully pulled on a pair of surgical gloves as he observed the forensic pathologists and scientists around him. He approached the small body, his outward expression calm but his heart hammering in his throat. "So he was on top of the ice?"

"Partially submerged in it," a scientist clarified. "They had to use a pickaxe and this fellow's own bow to dig him out."

Austria regarded this man closely. "Bow?"

"They thought it was a simple stick." He indicated the many rotted tools laid out carefully on a nearby table. "But that's still better than the jackhammer one of those dummkopf's used. Drilled a hole right into his clothes were torn when they tried to pull him out of the ice. But, they managed to free him and after some investigation of his body we discovered how different he was from a regular mountain climber."

"Do you know how old he is?" Austria asked.

"The blade of his axe is made of copper," another scientist said, tending to the items on the table. "The handle of his flint sharpener is made of lime wood. We think he may have been a hunter. Furthermore, because his weapon has a copper head, he might be from the Copper Age."

Austria couldn't help but gape in shock at the scientist. "Copper Age? Mein Gott…" he shook his head in disbelief. "That means he lived in the 4th millennium B.C.!"

The scientist nodded. "Ja. We may have on our hands one of the oldest mummies in the world."

Austria felt light-headed. This news was too surreal to him. One of the oldest mummies? And they found him in my territory? Me? He couldn't stop the tremor in his hand as he hovered it over the mummy's arm. "What is this substance over his skin? Is he decomposing?"

"Ja, but slowly. That substance is fungus though, because he was treated as a regular cadaver and not a mummy. It's nothing alarming, though. Look, you can still see the tattoos on his arm."

Austria could see them, and he couldn't help but smile behind his face-mask. "His left arm." He indicated the damaged limb before him. "Did it break when they pulled him from the ice?"

"Nein, when they dumped him in the coffin afterwards." There was a note of irritation in the scientist's voice. "But, I think this should be enough for today. We shouldn't keep him out for too long, or decomposition starts to rapidly settle in."

"I see." Austria nodded as the scientists tended to the body. "Danke, for all of your hard work."

Even after Austria left the room, everything seemed too surreal to him. He pulled off his gloves, and his mask, and rubbed a hand through his hair. I have a mummy. And he's thousands of years old…

"We deserve some credit."

Austria jumped a little and turned around. Germany and Prussia were standing there, though Germany looked a little irritated, while Prussia looked smug. "Credit?" Austria echoed.

"Ja," Prussia said, leaning his arm onto Germany's shoulder. "After all, we found him!"

"Aniki—" Germany sighed.

"He is in my territory," Austria said sternly. "He counts as my discovery, Gilbert."

"But WE found him!" Prussia shot back, pointing at himself with his thumb. "If our tourists hadn't been hiking in that spot, he wouldn't have been found! Whether he's your or not doesn't matter because WE made the discovery!"

Austria sighed again, and rubbed at his temples. It was indeed a German couple who had found his iceman. And he doubted very much that Prussia was ever going to let this go. "Can we discuss this another time? Right now the main focus is preserving him. They believe he was alive during the Copper Age."

"Copper Age?" Germany blurted out, gaping in shock. "That's incredible!"

"Wait, when was that?" Prussia asked.

"The 4th millennium B.C.," Austria supplied, looking irritated that he had to explain. "They called it the Copper Age because copper was a primary resource for weapons and utensils. Other ages were named similarly, like the Stone Age and the Iron Age and the Bronze—"

"All right, all right, I get it!" Prussia snapped. "But we still get credit for finding him!"

"Have they decided to name him?" Germany asked, quickly changing the subject. "I can't imagine they'll always call him 'Iceman'."

Austria shrugged. "Everyone's come up with a name for him. Chances are though; they'll name him after the Alps region he was found in… Ӧtztal."

Word quickly spread worldwide about Austria (and Germany's) discovery of a mummy frozen in ice. After careful deliberation, it was decided that this Iceman would be named Ӧtzi, after the region he was found in.

Hungary smirked as she read her newspaper. "Well done, Austria…"

England nearly spat his tea all over his newspaper. "Austria found a mummy? That's bloody brilliant!"

America's brow furrowed as he read his newspaper. "Austria has a mummy?" he looked at Tony in confusion. "I didn't know they had pyramids in Austria!"

Tony shrugged.

"What was he thinking, being up in the Alps with so little clothes?" Finland asked.

Sweden shrugged as he read his newspaper. "This looks like he was fully armed, too. Maybe he was running away from something?"

Liechtenstein shook her head as she drank her tea. "It sounds so strange for someone from Mr. Austria to go up into the Alps with little clothes and little food."

"This Iceman was from one of…his predecessors," Switzerland said, seeming to be uncomfortable mentioning Austria by name. "Maybe the former country where he's at now wasn't so…competent?"

…However, it would be one reaction. One reaction out of them all, that would be the most trouble to Austria.

"Nii-san! Nii-san!" Italy Veneziano hurried into the room, waving a newspaper over his head. "Nii-san, did you see this?"

"WHAT?" Italy Romano barked, sitting up in bed. "Why the fuck are you interrupting my siesta?"

"But look!" Italy showed him the newspaper. "Austria found a mummy!"

"Why the fuck do I care if that bas—mummy?" Romano grabbed the article from Italy. "He found a mummy? Where?"

"Well, Doitsu actually found it," Italy said. "But they said he was frozen in the ice! Isn't that stupendo?"

Romano grumbled a little under his breath as he scanned the article. "So, was the mummy stuck in a pond, or something?"

"Non, they found him in the Alps!" Italy laughed and clapped his hands. "They found him in the Ӧtztal Alps, so they named him Ӧtzi! They think he's over 3,000 years old! Maybe Grandpa Rome knew him!"

"Veneziano, this mummy came before Grandpa Rome. Besides, it…" Romano trailed off as he read the article further. "Wait…where did you say they found him?"

"The Ӧtztal Alps," Italy clarified. "That's why he's named Ӧtzi."

"Ӧtztal…wait a minute." Romano thought about it for a moment. Suddenly, he screamed with rage and tore out of the bed. "Those are OUR ALPS!"

"C-Cosa?" Italy said slowly.

"That bastardo!" Romano hollered. He jerked his pants on and went digging for a shirt in his drawers. "Stealing OUR MUMMY from us! Wanting to hog all the glory and only share it with that fucking potato bastard! He's going to pay!"

"Nii-san!" Italy cried out, rushing to Romano's side. "The Ӧtztal Alps…t-they aren't just ours! Austria has claim on them too! Ӧtzi was probably found on his side!"

"BULLSHIT!" Romano snapped. "He was hiding this from us! If he really wanted to know where he came from, then he would've CALLED US!"

"Um…I think our boss has been—"

"Shut up, and COME ON!" Romano grabbed Italy by the arm. "We're settling this right now!"

"…Why do you care about Ӧtzi now?" Italy whimpered.

Many countries wanted to see Ӧtzi, though it was very important to keep him preserved. Austria compiled photographs of the mummy, and his tools, and invited many countries to view them.

But…

Austria took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "For the last time, America. He wasn't found in a pyramid."

"How can he be a mummy if he's not in a pyramid?" America demanded.

England groaned and buried his face into his hand. "Please, just shut up."

"Do they know how he died?" France asked.

"Well, let's think about it, frog-face!" England snapped. "He was found partially submerged in an iceberg! I think it's fair to say he froze to death!"

"That is our primary theory right now," Austria interjected. "But we're looking at many possibilities."

"This is so incredible!" Hungary gasped, looking at all the photographs of Ӧtzi. "And to think that he's one of yours, Austria!"

"WE found him though!" Prussia snapped, sauntering over to her. "So he's our find!"

"Who cares if you found him?" Hungary growled back, glaring at him. "He's still Austria's! No offense, Germany," she said sweetly to the other country.

"None taken," Germany said sourly, rubbing his forehead with the back of his hand. "Mein Gott…it's becoming a tiring subject."

Egypt stared at one of the photos in silence, calmly folding his arms over his chest. Finally, he said, "This is no big deal."

"What do the tattoos mean?" Spain asked, indicating the arm in one of the photographs.

"I don't know," Austria admitted reluctantly. "Perhaps he was a warrior?"

"YOU STOLE OUR MUMMY!"

Everyone jumped at this shout, and conversations abruptly ceased. Austria turned towards the room's door and saw an enraged Romano standing there, a piece of paper clenched in his fist. A nervous Italy was standing just behind him.

"Excuse me?" Austria asked slowly.

"Romano!" Spain cheered obliviously, hurrying over to him.

"Never mind, moron! This mummy!" Romano snapped, jabbing a finger at the nearby photographs. "You stole him from us!"

Austria blinked very slowly. "I stole him? And how did I do that?"

"Don't bullshit me! He's ours! Just look!" Romano stormed further into the room.

Italy trailed behind him embarrassedly. "Nii-san—fratello, please just stop—"

"Nein, enlighten me," Austria said sharply, regarding the brothers with irritation. "Let me know how I stole Ӧtzi from the both of you."

"Here, bastardo!" Romano slammed the paper onto a table in the middle of the room. Upon closer inspection, everyone could see it was a map. A map specifically of the Alps. "You found this mummy right here!" He stomped his finger on a spot on the map. "The Ӧtztal Alps! OUR ALPS, you stronzo!"

"Nii-san, stop using such vulgarity!" Italy wailed, grabbing Romano's arm. He looked at Austria with tear-filled eyes. "I'm so sorry, Austria!"

Austria stared back at them blankly for a moment, and silence filled the room.

Suddenly, Prussia shrieked with laughter. "You stole their mummy! Oh, this is TOO RICH!" he slapped Austria hard on the shoulder as he laughed. "Mein Gott, this is the greatest moment of my life! Ӧtzi isn't even yours! GYA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Austria's face turned red from embarrassment…and rage. Italy 'eeped', and took a couple of steps back. "Your Alps? Your Alps? DUMMKOPF!" Austria ripped the map away from Romano and pointed at the Ӧtztal Alps himself. "These Alps fall on MY borders, too! They aren't just your Alps! How dare you storm in here and accuse me of robbing from you? Ӧtzi was clearly found on MY side! Otherwise, why else would I have him?"

"He's ours!" Romano demanded. "And you hid him from us!"

"I've been in talks with your boss closely about this," Austria said harshly. "Just because you've ignored this doesn't mean I hid it from you!"

"…Suddenly the tide of conversation has changed," England sighed.

America shrugged. "Wasn't The Sound of Music filmed in the Alps?"

"What does that have to do with anything?" Germany demanded.

"Fine!" Austria shouted suddenly. "We'll get a surveyor! We'll trace the boundary line in which Ӧtzi was found! Then we can put all of this nonsense to rest!"

"He's ours!" Romano snapped. "And we expect you to turn him over once we confirmed he's ours!"

"Ah, Romano's quite apasionado!" Spain teased, sauntering over to him. "I only see this much passion when you—"

"SHUT UP!" Romano hollered grabbing Spain by his cheeks.

Switzerland watched all of this in silence for a long moment before he shook his head. "Suddenly, it all makes sense now…"

"Ӧtzi was found between the peaks of Fineilspitze and Similaun. Since both peaks rest directly on your borders, I can understand the confusion over where he came from."

Austria and the Italy brothers followed the surveyors in silence. Italy shivered miserably behind Romano, while the older brother looked quite determined.

Austria looked at Romano for a moment and sighed. "I know that you do not actually care about this mummy, Romano. That you only want him now that you may have claim over him. I have an actual invested interest in him. Can't you leave this to rest?"

"He's ours!" Romano snapped for the umpteenth time. "You can't talk your way out of this one!"

Italy whimpered, hugging his arms. "Nii-san…you didn't even care until you thought he was ours!"

"Shut up, Veneziano!"

Austria sighed again. "Then…we shall see whom he belongs to."

They reached the area in which Ӧtzi had been found. The countries were stunned to see a large group of people waiting, even in the snow, for the confirmation of Ӧtzi's nationality. News reporters watched eagerly, waiting to send over the wire of Ӧtzi's true identity. Was he of Austrian or Italian descent?

"We have markers for your boundary line," one surveyor said. "We're going to measure it closely in conjunction with where he was found. Please do not be upset over the findings, for once we are able to officially mark him, it will be irrefutable of which one of you owns him."

Austria nodded. "I understand."

"So do we," Romano said.

"So…let's get started."

It was an exercise in patience, a trait that Romano admittedly lacked. But this was an opportunity they couldn't afford to pass up. Ӧtzi was undoubtedly one of the oldest mummies ever found in Europe. If he belonged to Austria, that was fine. If he didn't, then they had every right to him.

Plus, Romano wouldn't mind a little bit of the glory of claiming him.

Austria huffed out his breath shortly, watching the surveyors. Please…he dug his fingers into his arms. Please let this turn out well for me!

It seemed like forever. The surveyors measured and measured, and talked quietly amongst themselves. It was such a long time before the leader finally said, "We've got it!"

Romano and Italy immediately perked up, but Austria stepped forward. "Who?" he breathed. "Who does Ӧtzi belong to?"

The surveyor seemed very reluctant to say anything at all. He coughed discreetly as he regarded the countries. "Ӧtzi belongs to…"

Word spread quickly again worldwide. It left many countries in a state of shock.

Well…some of them.

"West!" Prussia pounded furiously on Germany's bedroom door. "West, come on! Hurry!"

Germany whipped his door open, glaring at his brother. "What is it, Aniki?" he still tolerated too much of Prussia, but he had to draw the line somewhere. Especially when Prussia disturbed him like this.

"We have to go!" Prussia shouted excitedly. "Hurry, or we'll miss it!"

"Miss what?"

"Ӧtzi!" Prussia cackled loudly. "Ӧtzi belongs to Italy!"

"My scientists would still like to work very closely on this project…if this is all right with you." Austria didn't realize how difficult it was to say the words until they came out. He kept his eyes downcast and didn't look at the Italian brothers.

"Of course," Italy said sincerely. He watched the careful transfer of Ӧtzi's body to his representatives. "And grazie for taking good care of him."

Romano was directing the individuals handling Ӧtzi, and Austria was relieved the other brother hadn't come near him. When the surveyors found that Ӧtzi's body had lain on Italy's side of the Ӧtztal Alps, and not his own, Romano screamed with laughter and gloated in such a way that would make Prussia proud.

It had been a terrible blow to Austria, especially since he was so fond of Ӧtzi. He was a rich country of culture, after all. And Ӧtzi represented a time from before he existed. He had a sort of romanticized ideal of Ӧtzi, and why he came to be where he was. But they determined, based upon the position of his body, that Ӧtzi had traveled from Italy and not from him.

Ah well. Austria closed his eyes and sighed sadly. This is nothing to be too disappointed in. You've had many disappointments throughout the years, Roderich. This is rather minor compared to this.

Austria felt a flash over his face, and his eyes snapped open. Prussia was standing in front of him, shrieking with laughter. "Your face! Your face! This is the greatest moment EVER!" he waved his disposable camera high. "And I caught it! Oh, this is better than when I seized Silesia from you!"

Austria's brow knitted with indignation. "Your comments are unnecessary. Why can't you just leave me alone just this once?"

"Um—" Italy stammered.

"I can't wait to develop this!" Prussia cheered. "Oh, and to frame it! I will have your misery depicted forever in—OOF!"

Italy shrieked in alarm, and Austria jumped back as a frying pan smacked Prussia right across the face, sending him sprawling to the ground and knocking him unconscious. "Some korcs never learn!"

"M-M-Miss Hungary!" Italy stammered.

Hungary picked up her frying pan off the ground and smiled apologetically at Austria. "I'm sorry for your loss, Austria."

"It's not a real loss," Austria said evenly. "I will still work hard on this." still, he felt a measure of relief that Prussia had been silenced. At least for a short while, anyway.

"Italy." Germany came over, ignoring his unconscious brother on the ground. "Congratulations."

"Grazie!" Italy cheered once more. "Nii-san is more enthusiastic about this, but we own a mummy! Who else can claim that?"

"Egypt," Austria muttered.

"I would like to see him if that's okay," Germany said. "Aniki is really pushing to take credit for finding him, but I'm happy with it either way."

"Okay! We—"

"HEY!" Romano rushed over to them. "Get away from him, Veneziano! We have to leave anyways!"

"Nii-san, I want to hang out with Germany!" Italy wailed, struggling against his brother.

Prussia groaned from the ground, blood leaking out of his nose and mouth. He held up his disposable camera with a trembling hand. "I still got it…I still got it…"

It was much later when Ӧtzi was brought into a research lab in Italy. The brothers observed the proceedings by the scientists behind glass.

"Yay, we did it!" Italy cheered, clapping his hands. "We have Ӧtzi! We have a mummy!"

"The oldest mummy in all of Europe," Romano said, pride unmistaken in his voice. "All thanks to my efforts, of course!"

They watched the scientists tend to Ӧtzi for several minutes in silence before Italy spoke again. "So…now what do we do with him?"

Romano stared at him for a moment. Suddenly, an uncomfortable feeling formed in his stomach. He looked at Ӧtzi again through the glass. "Uh…um…"

"He can only be out for less than 40 minutes a day," a scientist verified for them. "Otherwise, he'll start to decompose rapidly."

Romano made a disgusted face. "Great."

"You guys DID IT!"

Both brother jumped as Prussia rushed at them and nearly tackled both brothers in a tight hug. "You beat Austria! And I have his miserable face immortalized!" He showed them the photo he'd taken of Austria during the exchange.

"Get the fuck off me!" Romano hollered, shoving away from Prussia. He was no sooner out of Prussia's arms when another pair hugged him tightly.

"Romanoooooo, you did it!" Spain cheered, kissing him on the cheek. "Boss is so proud of you!"

Romano punched him hard. "Fucking—don't touch me!"

France ran over to hug Italy. "It's nice to see you two win every once and a while!"

"Why the fuck are ALL of you here?" Romano snapped.

"Thank you!" Italy cheered obliviously.

"But!" Prussia snapped suddenly, pointing at Romano. "West and I deserve the credit for finding him!"

Romano groaned in anger, especially since Spain wouldn't let him go even after the punch. "This is becoming more trouble than it was EVER worth!"

This is actually a very abridged story about the discovery of Ӧtzi. Also, in reality Italian authorities worked very closely with German and Austrian authorities with Ӧtzi from the beginning. There had been disputes between Austria and Italy over who owned Ӧtzi, and Italy did win. Though, they didn't win the lawsuit by Helmut and Erika Simon, the German couple credited with finding him.

The frozen to death theory was thought to be the way Ӧtzi died, also given what he'd been wearing. But in 2001 scientist discovered a severe injury in his shoulder caused by an arrowhead, and now the theory is his death was caused by murder or some sort of human sacrifice.

My information is based from two resources: the book I Was There: Discovering the Iceman by Shelley Tanaka, and the website 'Oetzi the Iceman'.