Title: Wouldn't you know…
Author: Taylor Andromeda Carter
Genre: Humor / Family
Summary: Wouldn't you know better than to ask what had happened even if the reason was apparent? The CSI's have an interesting shift and a few interesting cases-
What would you do if the entire lab was down with flu or if a criminal decided to act stupid just because he wanted to get back into jail? What would you say if you saw three nude clowns walking down the hallways of CSI?
You would know better than to ask Sidle or any graveyard CSI what had happened even if the reason was apparent.
Earlier in the evening, the day's cases had sent some of graveyard's best into situations they wished never happened.
Greg Sanders wished that the entire lab staff was not sick or down with flu, as it now left him running the entire lab for the evening.
Nick Stokes was given the case at the new bar down town- The Peeping Tom; as it was rightly named after its showcase of exotic dancers. It involved a badly decomposing body found in the basement parking lot. It couldn't have gotten any worse. Interrogating some of the dancers had led to some very embarrassing situations at LVPD. He had wished Catherine had taken this case.
Dr. Ray Langston was typically fed up with the kind of case he had gotten. A convict had gone through all the trouble of getting back into jail by trying to rob a convenient store; in order to get back at a fellow imprisoned convict for spreading rumors about him. He sighed, wishing that all criminals were not so stupid.
Catherine Willows wished she was not stuck up in her office with her towering pile of paperwork. After all, it was all due in by tomorrow and she had still to get through the halfway mark. She now knew why Grissom kept away from it and why Sara always did it for him.
Archie Johnson was bored. It was a typical day at the lab. He could see that Greg was busy with lab work. He mused over the fact that the poor guy desperately wanted to get out into the field today. You could see that things were not working out well with him.
David Hodges hated being ill and the last place he wanted to be was in bed down with flu. Same was the case with Wendy Simms.
Captain Jim Brass was not having any luck, either. Today PD had seen the weirdest of cases- from exotic dancers to stupid convicts. After a shoot-out at PD between an abusive husband and wife which resulted in the death of a suspect; and an inquiry by Internal Affairs, the place was off-limits till it was cleared by one of the CSI's. Until then he had to work from the labs.
Doc Robbins was a very angry man and had little tolerance for live animals in the morgue. After a live rat had jumped onto the operating table; it took a while to settle a visibly startled Robbins so that work could carry on. From then on it also became a known fact that Doc Robbins had a fear for all vermin.
The real highlight of the day was Sara's case. Being sent to process a DUI at a circus was already amusing enough if the suspects were not one but three clowns. She had had just about enough when they decided that all she wanted was proof of their manhood.
But what really took the cake was when said suspects decided to go all out with their act. Stripping down proved that they were indeed drunk but did they have to go one with their colorful act? In a fraction of a second the CSI and 'one' Detective Monroe was drenched in blue, red and yellow paint which left all officers at a loss for words. An 'angry' Detective and a visible angry CSI left the remaining lot to tow the colorful mass back to PD.
Towards the end of shift, an exhausted Greg made his way into the break room and settled down heavily next to an equally tired Catherine. Ray had a scowl on his face due to the amount of paperwork he had to process because of one stupid criminal. Nick was in on of the layout rooms closing up his case. Brass joined them for a quick break.
When an angry shout reached their ears, it didn't take long to figure out that it would probably be Sara, rather pissed off at the ludicrousness of her case. But when three colorful suspects towed by three cops passed their view, they knew better than to ask.
"Miss Sidle, why are you so angry?" asked a rather plump looking…naked clown? Catherine was now rather curious.
"Miss Sidle, are we going to get spanked?" asked the tall one.
Greg couldn't help but snigger. Catherine could only raise her eyes when the third one added.
"Miss Sidle, will you make out with me? Such a beauty could be part of my act."
Nick had entered the break room when he saw the three rather nude clowns. He burst out laughing at the last statement.
The object of their concerns had followed with one very livid detective.
A multi-colored Sara trudged down the hallway with an equally looking Monroe and by the looks on their face it was certain that they were in no mood to talk.
"Miss Sidle, I love you" said the small guy as he struggled out of his restrains. He succeeded and immediately ran into Sara.
"Get off me, you idiot!" she spat and promptly punched him on the face. Getting up she said,
"Will you lock these idiots up quickly!"
"Well, well what happened to you two? asked Brass. At once he regretted it.
"I think the reason is very apparent" she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.
"You look like Tweety" said Nick
"Unless you want to land up like that guy, beat it" she said as she made her way toward the locker room.
"You look kind of cute" said Greg.
"That's it" she said and gave Greg a smack on the face, promptly resulting in some red paint transfer.
"Maybe you deserve some too" she promptly rubbed some red and blue onto Nick's face when he laughed and walked away.
"Not a word"
"Detective?" asked Brass.
"I'm really not in a mood, so don't ask for it" replied Monroe as he walked towards PD.
In their wake were multiple footprints in a variety of colors; raising a questionable look from many. It didn't take long for them to figure out when they saw the reason but they knew better than to ask what had happened; when a colorful looking Nick and Greg hurried towards the lockers.