Disclaimer: The Host belongs to Stephenie Meyer, I am just a simple girl writing fictional stories about the fictional characters.

Thank you to Lady Mackenzie for being a wonderful beta.

Ian thought over what he'd said to Jared. I felt guilty. The look on Jared's face. A distant intake of breath from the thing or alien or parasite (or the stunningly beautiful girl) that stood behind him.

That's what he's been telling himself. It's an alien, a parasite that took his family and his future, but that couldn't be right. This selfless creature, stupid enough to shield Jared from Kyle, couldn't have possibly been evil enough to take his world from him.

He didn't even know her name, but the silver eyes she wore was what his mind clung to on the brink of his sleep. And the guilt he had once admitted was there, still present in his blood, weighing his arms and legs down. He was reminded of what he did every time he glanced at his hands; red marks and scratches still covered them.

Passing her in the caves was the worst. It seemed like each time he saw her, the black marks on her neck got darker. Her eyes shifting to the floor in fear of being noticed.

"Ian, what's the matter with you?" Kyle spat at him. His fierce voice rang throughout their little cave.

"I just... I think about it all the time," Ian stuttered, ran a hand through his hair. "What I did, I go through it over and over and it seems like a dream, because... that couldn't have been me; I wouldn't have done that."

"Well, you did. Because it was the right thing to do," So damn stubborn.

"It wasn't right," Ian said quietly. He was done talking to his brother for the night. Despite his anger, he kept his voice and his actions controlled until Kyle started snoring.

Ian couldn't sleep with those haunting (and beautiful) eyes staring back at him inside his mind. His head pounded and his eyes were restless. He got up and walked down the dark tunnel, not exactly sure where he was going but guessing he'll end up at the river room sooner or later.

A rushing sound filled his ears when his legs started to tire out. The darkness and the water helped him to get distracted, clearing his mind (except for her eyes; they always seemed to stay) and washing his thoughts.

Ian didn't stay distracted for long though. His face started to get flushed like it always did when he was angry (and when he was realizing something that he didn't want to realize), his pulse sped up and breath quickened.

It seemed like Ian was at war with himself: It's an alien, a parasite that took his life away; she's just a girl, she couldn't hurt anyone; it'll get the humans found out and they'll all be dead; she's the furthest thing from a Seeker anyone's seen.

And it frustrated him that the latter of all the things were true.

Ian threw a fist at the stone when he found out what his first instinct was: his drive to protect her was so overwhelming that it brought his headache back.

I won't let anyone touch her.

I won't let anyone near her.

God, what is wrong with me? he thought. I can't possibly - I can't be...

Before he could finish the thought, he had the urge to be sick.

The throbbing pain in his knuckles kept him focused.

I'll keep her safe.

A/N: Thank you for reading! Please review, PM me, or message me on tumblr what you thought. I appreciate you taking your time reading this :)

Also, to the girl Elly reviewing my fics, I literally love you they make me so happy please be my friend you're wonderful.