My friend and I are doing a one-shot exchange game. Here is my response with the prompt: Sirius loses his hair.
A.N. This is meant to be funny. If you are insulted by this story, remember this statement: "Here's a quarter, go call someone who cares."
Sirius hatedmuggle holidays. He hated that muggleborns had brought muggle holidays with them. He also hated the wizarding 'pagan' holidays but less so because they actually made sense! Sirius especially hated that Lily Evans loved muggle holidays and that Prongs had started to emulate this strange phenomena.
Sirius could have just hung out with Moony and Wormtail, but Wormtail was leaving to see his folks and Moony was still ticked off about something that Sirius had long forgotten. So he took to explaining to anyone who would listen just how bizarre muggle holidays really were.
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"AUGGGGGHHHHHH!" Sirius screamed as the Ravenclaw chorus serenaded the Great Hall.
"Just what are you doing, Mr. Black?" Professor McGonagall asked with a stern look.
"There's no way that it was a silent night, and the song is obviously written by a man who has never experienced childbirth, so I'm bringing sympathy to the supposedly Virgin girl's plight. She's losing her virginity and giving birth. Double OUCH!," Sirius explained irreverently.
McGonagall glared and Sirius shut up.
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On St. Patrick's Day he pointed out that the Slytherin snakes were still here so Saint Patty obviously wasn't that powerful. Lily and James glared so he shut up.
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"Jesus is a ZOMBIE!" Sirius screamed during the feast before Easter Break. His outburst caused five Hufflepuff firsties to cry. Lily's face turned as red as her hair and she visibly snapped. Before Sirius could duck a purple hex was cast his way. He gasped as it hit him and stared in shock. His luxurious black hair, his crowning, pun intended, glory was strewn all around him. Sirius gaped in horror while the whole school laughed.
Finally Sirius realized the humor of the situation and gave an overdramatic bow to Miss Evans the Tigerlily. "There may be hope for you yet," he said solemnly.
Lily proceeded to raise her wand threateningly and Sirius finally shut up.