Wow, I've been working on this one for a WHILE now xD i couldn't decide if i wanted it to be from one angle or another, but the ideas been floating around for months now. This story is based off of Hawthorne Heights song, I am on Your Side, and I think that it fits this part of the VK storyline, where she's conflicted between "betraying" Kaname to keep Zero alive and from falling to a Level E. There will be 2 chapters (more than likely; this could change, depending on how it goes), to attempt to show all the conflict in her mind. Hope you enjoy! ^_^ REVIEW and let me know whatchya think! 8)

End this Now, We've Gone too Far

I shut the glass door solemnly behind me. The quiet, insistent dripping of the faucet seemed to only dampen the already gloomy atmosphere. I knew what had to happen, it was the only way to ease his pain and prolong his life. The decent to Level E was taking its toll on him. That's right, this is the only way.

My thoughts were swirling in my cerebellum as I removed the top of my dark uniform, leaving me in my white undershirt, the color at odds with the faucet-dampening atmosphere and tenseness that chilled the air. My words were caught in my throat at the soft swish of my uniform colliding with the tile, the two sides of my heart at silent war with one another. Despite this, I willed the sentence from my trembling lips. "Please, continue what we were doing yesterday." My eyes followed the path of my garment and hit the floor.

He froze. I continued, "I've finally thought of the only thing I can do." Pushing my weight into him, he relinquished his footing and backed against the wall, panic spreading through his eyes. "What are you saying?" The same panic in those lavender irises had leaked its way into his voice as well. This, I could see, could hear, could feel as I reassured him. "This is the best solution, Zero." I made my best effort to line my words with confidence, to hide their fragility as a I leaned on him, perhaps for comfort in the act I was heaving us both into.

We sank to the ground, his body trembling slightly. "Drink my blood, Zero, to stop your thirst, even if it's only temporary." There was silence. My hands taking fistfuls of his shirt as he ground his mind for an appropriate response, or better, as my offer sank into his ears. I daren't move. Instead, I waited for his words. I knew the pain this was causing him, the agony of such a heavy decision. Sweat peeled off of his face as his eyebrows furrowed in frustration. Looking up, his face pleading as though the ceiling would lend him the strength to refuse. At last, the words came, "Stop this. I couldn't…" The resolve was weak as he struggled through the pause between words. "forgive myself," He finished at last.

This sentence stuck into my head. I knew they were true. He would hate himself all the more, would hate me. He'll never forgive me for this, but this is what I have to do. I have to give him another chance. At this thought, my body seemed to find its own resolve, and it softened as that same resolve to give him this second chance found its outlet through my mouth. "I know, but I've given it a lot of thought."

I felt him shudder, the last remnant of his earthly resolve evaporated into thin air. He gave in, leaning close to the base of my throat, all the while gasping for breath, his dwindling humanity making every attempt to sooth the animal that was begging for release. "Sorry." I whispered whole-heartedly. At that, Zero wrapped his arms around me, trapping me on an instinct that was eating him alive. There was nowhere to turn now; it was too late to object. Coming closer where those razors hidden behind his lips. And closer still. His hot breath washed over my neck, sending a slight tremble down my spine. So this is what it is to be prey, I thought.

Suddenly, something inside tugged at me. I couldn't understand quiet what it was, though. A tiny, insignificant push came from deep within my mind: End this now. We've gone too far. I realized that it was some other portion of me begging for my physical body to push away this predator so close to me. It was a fraction of fear that had, until this tiny moment, been suppressed by my resolution to do this for Zero, to give him what he needed to survive. Quickly, before it could take any hold over me, I suppressed it back into the back corners of my head.

"Let us…" I started, feeling his fangs touch the pulse point. "do something unforgivable." His fangs sunk into my throat at the last word. I jumped slightly, holding his head with my right arm and holding his shoulder with the left. I felt him squeeze a fistful of my hair and grip my shirt. The blood leaked from my neck as he lapped it up hungrily into his waiting maw. As the taste seemed to sink in, he pushed against me, forcing my back into his hand, and pulling my head back to further swallow his relief. There was a sickening slurp as he drank eagerly to satiate his thirst. My thoughts could only remain in the moment, the feeling of his fangs burrowing deep wounds into the side of my neck the only thing I could concentrate on for the moment. I closed my eyes and waited.

He held tighter still, and breathing was becoming taxing for me. An epiphany hit me, it's irony washing over my thought process with unrivaled entirety. A vampire's feeding on me…The thought took me back to that night all those years ago. The terror of seeing a bloodthirsty brute lunging for the same throat Zero was feeding from now. So scary... Another slurp. Scary? But Zero is.. The thought went unfinished he detached his incisors from me and fell back against the tiled wall, disgust obvious on his face. Crimson stained his lips and chin as he attempted to regain his breath, avoiding my gaze.

"Zero, are you alright?" At the simple question, he turned his head in my direction, still avoiding me in silence. When at last he spoke, it was more as though he was speaking to himself alone, rather than to me. "I'm so… despicable." At this, he brought a hand to his lips to wipe away the excess stain. "Even if I hate vampires to the core, even if I don't want to hurt anybody, I still can't control my craving for blood." There was an unnatural wave of disgust that wrought its way through his frame when he spoke those words, the hatred of becoming, such as he'd often put it, a vile creature, a beast in the form of a human. The revulsion had etched its way onto his face, but in the same fleeting moment in which it had made its appearance, his face contorted in grief and agony. Utter defeat looked as if it was clawing its way out of his eyes, and his features became a piteous spectacle in comparison to the camouflage he wore in front of others. The wall buckled and crumbled, and I witnessed first-hand just how much of a torture his everyday life has been over the past four years. It was all laid out plainly before me, and all I could do was look on weakly with concern.

"I've given up."

"I know that drinking this fresh blood is only a temporary solution. After tasting your blood…" He stopped there, crumpling under that visible pain, bringing a hand to his forehead in a vague attempt to keep himself together.

I paused for a moment. I can't let him do this to himself. My thoughts took the form of words. "Saying that 'I've given up.' That's too much."

I have to push him. I have to keep him going, keep him moving forward. "Did you forget our promise, that you'll stop saying that?" I narrowed my eyes in determination. I'm going to get this across to him, even if it means… "Even if you say you detest it, even if you hate me, we must suppress the monster inside you."

His eyes widened at my words, the testimony hitting him hard. "Giving up just because you're being taken over by your vampire side, even if you hate me, or hate vampires, you shouldn't just give up like that!" I was desperate to make him see this, to make him understand that I was here, that I wasn't going to let him die cruelly through the way he was pressing himself. I can't let him die! I can't let him die! My head was spinning with these words, caught up in them, so much to a degree that I almost didn't hear him speak.

"It's alright… to hate you?"

The question surprised me, and I jumped, taken back by the suddenness. His hand still covering his face, he spoke once more. "Are you alright?" Still struck by the confusion of the first question, I almost forgot to respond.

"Oh! Yes, I'm alright; I don't lack blood. I've always been healthy. I'll even be able to go to school tomorrow as usual." I wasn't expecting the words to come out so cheerfully, but with the circumstances, I figured it would be best to try and brighten the situation. I put the feeling of remorse aside. "There's nothing strange about it. You must come to school tomorrow, definitely!"

With that, I stood up, Zero following the example, and replaced the jacket of my uniform to its original spot. Knowing that there were other vampires on the school grounds, and that this was to be an endeavor kept with utmost secrecy, I washed the scarlet out of my hair and off neck as best I could. I placed a bandage over the bite wound after it stopped bleeding and I carefully cleaned it. Wishing Zero goodnight, I exited the dormitory into the crisp night air.

The moon hung a crescent luminescence over the cobblestone path leading to the other dorms. A slight breeze stirred the leaves and lifted my still damp hair as I walked. As I made my way down the path, the resolution I'd taken slowly faded. A figure, someone from the Night Class, was walking along the same path as me. I tensed as our paths came closer to one another, and I realized who it was: the one person who, at this moment, I'd least favored meeting.

So that's it for Ch. 1- hope you enjoyed! Remember to review!

Thankiesssssss!

~.Brenna.~