A/N: If you're reading this note please be aware: I'm rewriting the story, so it's going to be very odd when you get to a chapter I haven't rewritten (main storyline is changing) so keep that in mind…if anything is confusing, odds are I haven't gotten there yet. I'll let you know at the top which chapters are updated and which aren't. If you don't see anything about an update, I advise you stop reading there and check in later to see if it's fixed. My writing gets better as this goes along, but I'll try to fix it a bit.

Note: There is no such thing as Death Serum, it was a simulation serum that made you think it was Death Serum….sorry if that's confusing.

Part 1: Picks up 2 weeks After Epilogue, From Tobias' s point of view.

The door shuts quietly behind me, the only sound in my silent apartment. I sigh to myself, and sink down into the couch. This was the time when tears used to come, but now all I feel is empty.

I used to have Evelyn to talk to, after we reconciled and trusted each other, but she moved out yesterday, she found a place in a building down the street.

The silence is deafening, and I'd consider going somewhere, but Zeke convinced me to go out on an "outing," as he put it. Basically it's his way of taking me out on a double date, like we used to in Dauntless before she came along. I would've said no, but I've been nice to Zeke ever since I let him down with Uriah.

This is the second time he's asked me, but the first time I've said yes. Zeke forgave me enough to talk to me and be my friend again, but we're not the same as we were and we're never going to be. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells – and so does he, probably – around him, like one thing could set us off fighting again.

I've got other friends, Christina and Shauna, though none of them know me. They don't know how much I think about her, every second of every day – I don't even care if that sounds cliché. They think I'm better, at least not as bad as I used to be. I used to never come out of my room, sitting and sulking in my misery, drowning myself in my work, always pestering Johanna for something to do.

She cracked my walls, brought them tumbling down. She made me Tobias. Not Four. When she left me, I built the walls up, thicker and stronger than they were before and I haven't let anyone in.

The truth is I'm not better, I'm never going to be better. I go out with Zeke often, sure, and I talk with Christina, but it's not deep talk. It's just scratching the surface of what I'm feeling. Though I think she knows I'm not letting her in, being the Candor that she is, when all of my other friends don't have a clue.

An image of her fills my mind, and it scares me that I can't make out what her hair looked like, or what her smile was. I don't feel the same things I used to, it's dull when everything used to be amplified when I was near her.

It only takes one thought for the walls to come crashing down.

I am a coward. A coward. If only I wasn't so scared, I could've been there, what was I thinking, leaving? Leaving only her and Caleb, wasn't it obvious who it would end up being?

I sit there, re-hashing out the arguments against myself I've practically memorized over the years. Eventually anger gives way to sadness, shaking hands give in to tears, and my frustrated shouts turn into undignified sobs. I lay on the couch, letting my tears soak into the fabric.

My sobs turn to soft cries, which turn in to sniffles. I haven't let myself cry for a while, and I feel an immense anger towards myself when I realize what a mess I've become. I roll over, facing the back of the couch, my cheeks wet.

I regain awareness of the real world around me when I hear a sharp knock on the door. "Four?" It sounds like Zeke. "FOUR!" They haven't called me Tobias since she left.

Shit. In the middle of my childish breakdown, I forgot all about this date Zeke is sending me on. "One second!" My voice cracks, and my attempt at seeming busy fails. I jump up, trying to make myself look somewhat acceptable, whether I end up going or not.

Rushing into the bathroom, I still feel the pang of guilt when I look into the mirror. I guess even though the factions aren't anymore in Chicago, they'll never be, but they will always be in all of us.

My eyes are so puffy I can't even see the real skin around them, it's all red and irritated. Tears are still visible all over my cheeks and my lips are cracked and dry. Maybe I can scare her away, I think. I quickly – and sloppily - wash my face, getting water all over my shirt. I run into my bedroom, and quickly put a fresh one on. I feel stubble on my chin, but there's no time now to do anything about that.

I rush to the door, pulling it open as quickly as possible. It reveals an impatient looking Zeke, happy Shauna in a wheelchair, and a girl about my age, with blond hair and gray eyes. I almost have another breakdown right in front of everyone, but I manage to cover it up with a little cough. I try to look at Zeke, tell him this isn't going to work, when he interrupts me.

"Hey, Four!" I shoot him a glare. "Hey, uh, so this is Belle, and you know Shauna." Zeke finishes, looking at me expectantly.

"Hi," my throat clenches. She looks too similar, too much like her. "Belle, hi. Look, I was really looking forward to this, but-"

"You don't have to say anything, I get it. You're not really my…type, either." She sounds quiet but strong, just like her.

"I'm sorry," I say quietly. Her comment would've stung if I wasn't already in a lot of pain.

Zeke gives me a sympathetic look, "I thought we could try. Well then, maybe next time." He winks at me, and pushes Shauna down the hallway, Belle following close behind.

I shut my door quickly, and lean up against it, breathing heavily. The thought of her overwhelms me, how beautiful and strong she is, was, what her mind was capable of. I remember the way she looked that night she came to me in the Amity compound. She was unsure, but she was beautiful. My mind wanders to the last and only time we were together like that, but I stop it. I won't go there.

I wake up to the sun shining through my windows, and turn over in the covers. I feel something wet on my chin. Touching my face, I feel little droplets scattered across my cheeks. Really? Crying, in your sleep. Man, this is all your fault, you could've stopped it-

I cut off the voice in my head before it can continue. Walking to the kitchen, I take in my surroundings. My apartment is bare, only a couch and some chairs. I need to get my life going again. It's not what she would want.

My stomach grumbles, and I remember that I didn't eat anything yesterday. At all. Opening the pantry, I find bare shelves. I can't remember the last time I went to the store. I normally eat cereal, so I try to think of something. The only thing I know how to make is scrambled eggs, so I start to make them.

I'm almost finished when the doorbell rings. I don't need to deal with Zeke right now, so I consider not even going over, but in the off-chance it's someone else I decide to check. I set the eggs down, and walk over, peering through the spy hole in the door.

My heart thumps out of my chest. I catch a glimpse of bright blond hair, too low down for me to see who it really is. She's dead, she's not coming back. Dead.

I've hallucinated plenty of times, so I'm sure it's not really her outside my apartment. It's probably Belle. I wipe my sweaty hands on my jeans, and try to stop my body from shaking. I pull open the door, and my mouth goes slack.

"Tris," I exhale, "It's you."