Hiya... so this is my first Phantom Of The Opera One shot and also my first ever Songfic... I know, exciting! Hope you enjoy and please, tell me what you think.
Song: .com/watch?v=1HQkXL0qo3A
I looked at the man who stood a few feet away from me, heart break once again filling me as I spotted the small patch of crimson that was steadily growing. The forearm of his flowing white shirt slowly staining red from where he had injected himself with the needle. I knew that his mind would be clouded from the obvious morphine abuse. No matter how hard both me and Darago pushed, Erik refused to any sense on the matter, choosing to ignore us by claiming he was 'fine'.
His dark topaz eyes, once wise and intelligent, were fogged over in confusion as he looked down at me. My broken body was curled up, hiding in the darkness of the endless night that swallowed the catacombs beneath the opera house that I once worked and called my home.
Bound to your side and trapped in silence
Just a possession
Is this sex or only violence
That feeds your obsession
I used to loved that place beyond all reason. The beautiful underground home where I always felt welcome and safe. The place which created such amazing music that could make grown men weep in sadness when it eventually drew itself to a dramatic end. The music of the night that wasn't tainted by the warm promises of light. Within that music, I had discovered myself a friend in a person whose appearance had managed to scare away all those who weren't strong enough to look past the deformity to spot the lonely man underneath. A great lose to the people who couldn't bring themselves to befriend the ghost which found great joy in terrorising those who shunned him all his life.
Madame Giry had warned me against our growing friendship. She had begged me to leave Erik alone so I wouldn't be hurt by him but I couldn't pull myself away from him. He had captured my heart without even trying and so I found myself bound to the musical genius... never to be freed from his spell. I knew that deep down inside myself, in a part of my mind I tried to ignore for good reason, I had managed to fall in love with his dark and tormented soul. The soul of a man who had forever lived in the shadows.
But then, he changed. So suddenly that neither me or Nadir could see what was to be come of our mutual friend.
He had changed when Christine Daae, the young soprano, rejected his affections. When she rejected everything that made him who he was. Erik then used his emotional turmoil as a justified excuse to over indulge himself in the one habit that threatened to take him away from me every time he felt his heart break even though I felt it every time I gazed upon him. As a result of the morphine and heroine, he would be confused but when he came out of it, he tended to lash out at the closest thing. me.
He pushed me and pushed me, like he was trying to get rid of me so he could wallow in his self pity but I just couldn't. I loved him. I loved him even when he confused me for his Christine and used my body to fulfil some of his deepest and most intimate fantasies. No, I still didn't leave and return to the world above his dungeon. Instead, I did whatever he asked of me because of one simple fact... it had fallen from his lips.
Yet, when he came out of his drugged delusions and saw me in his bed, the innocent confusion was replaced by unbridled fury.
His phantom side came out to yell at me, accusing me of using him when he was vulnerable so I could boast about bedding the monster. No matter how much I tried to tell him I didn't, no matter how desperately I wanted to tell him that I was in love with him and wouldn't leave, I couldn't soothe his anger. His hits would rain down on me, causing pain so intense that after a while, I would go numb. My vision would slowly begin to fade until I was able to retreat into my mind. To go into the darkest corner of my mind and slowly try to repair the heart I had given him. Sometimes, I question it's durability.
You send me to a broken state
Where I can take the pain just long enough
Then I am numb
Then I just disappear
So go on infect me
Go on and scare me to death
Tell me I asked for it
Tell me I'll never forget
You could give me anything but love
Anything but love
Stripped down to my naked core
The darkest corners of my mind are yours
That's where you live
That's where you breathe
" Christine?... what are you doing down there my angel?" He murmured softly as a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. I watched him carefully as he moved closer to me. When he was finally close enough, he pulled me up into his arms and held my waist tenderly. Despite the pain I felt from a few hours previous, my heart began to race when he dropped a kiss to the top of my head.
" I love you Christine... You know that don't you? Know that Erik will always look after you because you're mine and Erik always takes care of what's his... you never forget that angel. Never." I could feel his heart beat speed up a little beneath my cheek as he rambled on. While his heart raced, my slowly began to break once more when her name dropped from his lips. It was never my name he worshipped. No, he would spit it like it was a curse word or something dirty. Like it didn't deserve his breath.
"Of course I know that my love... always". Sighing to myself, I felt him smile against my neck as he nuzzled his nose where my shoulder met it. A silent tear moved down my cheek as my heart gave a painful squeeze. It wasn't me he loved. He could give me anything but what I craved the most. If only he could love me like I loved him... who else would take everything he gave me? Not even Christine could. She would run to her Raoul when the first chance presented itself.
Without any faith
Without any light
Condemn me to live
Condemn me to lie
Inside I am dead
So go on fight me
Go on and scare me to death
I'll be the victim
You'll be the voice in my head
You could give me anything but love
Anything but love
His hand crept up and picked up a loose curl, playing with it gently before leading me over to the bed. Slowly, he laid me down then covered my mouth with his. The love, the passion and the intense devotion seeped through from both side though the feeling wasn't mutual. He wasn't kissing me, his friend. No. He was kissing the harpy in his head. The one who would always hold his heart, no matter how hard I tried to pry her fingers away.
My eyes stung in realisation so I closed them tight, allowing him to take control of me but unlike earlier, he pulled away and held me against his chest once more. From where I rested, I could see his eye lids grow heavier with every breath he took. It wasn't long before it evened out and sleep took over. When I was sure I wouldn't be heard, I moved to the end of the bed and wept openly from my place.
I couldn't tell you how long it was because Nadir came, rushing over to my side when he spotted me. I accepted his warm embrace, allowing the tears to flow down my cheeks and soak into his shirt.
" Did it happen again?" he asked when I calmed down slightly. All I could do was nod in answer to his question in fear my voice would break.
" Why not leave?"
" Be-because... he can give me anything but love... a-and sometimes, t-that has t-to be e-enough".
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