Is this a dream?
It's been 5 years ...I lost a important person levi he was the only, the only one that saw me as me, not some monster that..that was ..*sobs slightly* humanity's last hope. I couldn't remember much about what happened on the last battle but I do remember the love in his eyes. It still haunts me day,and night. A lot has changed I have my own place ,Mikasa checks in once in awhile ,but not like an overprotective sister anymore. I'm fine, at the most, It's funny how time flys heh, right Levi?
I still can't get over the fact that your gone ...just gone. Dead
"Eren?! " something kept calling his name ,it sounds familiar ,but eren doesn't know who.
Eren wakes up confused in his home ,confused? More like aching pain in the stomach. He's been hearing things ,or misinterpreted something from the past . He doesn't know .
He rubs his eyelids and sees the shimmering moon glimmering through his window sill. Eren takes in a deep breath and calmly blows his breath out. Eren hasn't had a nightmare in a long time. He decides that'll he take a calming night stroll outside (the walls). He grabs his coat ,his hat,and gloves , it's a cold winters breeze but at least a clear sky.
He walks silently ,hearing his foot steps hit the winter snow that was left of the storm. He gets outside the walls and keeps walking , he doesn't know where,but keeps walking , silently .
He finally stops in front of a grave , a grave that has been important to all humanity ...humanity's strongest.
Levi Heichou
Devoted solider
Humanity's strongest
Beloved boyfriend
He can't remember how much he hates to believe all of this
"Why can't you be alive ,why! You idiot" Eren sobbed kneeling down in front of the grave crying,hoping, that he could be alive .
But he isn't, he's gone, but never forgotten, well that's what people say to Eren to know that Levi is in our hearts
"Eren please don't cry ,please "
A gust of wind blew his hair making Eren feel something, something familiar, but what?
"Levi" Eren whispered softly
"Eren" a soft voice calls his name ,so warm,and sweet, like it was Levi 's. Is this a dream?
"Huh? Levi " eren was trying to find where his lover's voice came from
"Wake up please" the soft voice called
"Wake up? I-I.. don't u-understand " Eren started tearing up once more , no response ,then it went quiet ,nothing except footsteps approaching him.
"Eren...?"
"Huh mikasa?"
"Eren it's cold ,come to my place please" Mikasa wanted eren to leave so he stops crying , he doesn't know how much it hurts him to see him like this.
"But-" Eren started to protest about why she wants him to leave ,but her gaze told him not to.
"Eren please...?"
"O-ok Mikasa" Eren shudders trying to hold back the tears that were forming at the corner of his eyes
Eren walks with Mikasa to her home, her own, she still takes care of him from time to time ,when he starts to grief ,she's there ,always .
Mikasa still is protective ,but usually there's nothing to be protective about
The titans are dead
Levi 's gone...
I'm still alive
Eren decided that he'll stay at Mikasa's place ,since he was not able to walk back home in his grieving moment. Mikasa gives Eren the guest bedroom and told him if he needed anything just call out. Call out? More like reach out .
Eren gets to bed, but couldn't fall back to sleep ,he kept thinking about that soft voice, that sounded so familiar ,and too real . When he finally couldn't keep his eyes open for too much longer he finally drifted off to sleep . Eren kept dreaming about the past. He kept hearing that same soft, familiar voice that keeps calling to him.
Eren stop fooling around
Eren ..thanks
Eren ? You ok you seem pale
Eren come on ..where's your sense of humor
Eren I promise I will protect you
"Eren please...don't go please
Eren kept hearing Levi's past words from when he was alive and here with him.
Levi ...Levi...LEVI!"
Eren woke up startled by his nightmare ,why, do I have to feel this pain Inside my chest , what are you trying to tell me? That it was my fault? wait...it was my fault if I haven't been so stupid you could be alive
"Please ...Eren"
What?please...I'm so confused, heart broken , alone.
Lost in his thoughts mikasa comes rushing through the door ,still wearing her pj's , she looked upset with a hint of worry
"A nightmare? " she asked as she set herself on the edge of the bed ,looking directly In his eyes for any discomfort
"Yeah ...a terrible nightmare" he said sliding his fingers through his hair and leaning against the edge of the bed. Mikasa was rubbing Eren's back to sooth and ccalm him.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Mikasa said calmly
"My dream?" Eren looked at Mikasa then looked back down at the floor
"It'll be good to let it all out instead of bundling it all in"
"ok , but can I have some time alone first if that's all right?"
" yeah that's fine, take all the time you need" and with that she left leaving Eren alone to process his dream
Was it really a dream , I mean seriously what voice comes to you to and ask's you to wake up! I mean ,come on! It's just the most outrageous thing or dream I have ever had. Why am I yelling in my head jeez!
Eren kept pacing back and forth ,thinking , processing for what his dream was about . Eren knows he shouldn't over react about a dream but still...If Levi is trying to reach out for him, Eren will find him no matter what and figure out what his lover wants him to do. After getting dressed and ready he finally goes down stairs where Mikasa was sitting patiently in a chair.
"Sorry I took so long...I was thinking"
"Yeah I heard" Mikasa took a sip of her tea before motioning Eren to sit.
Eren blushes embarrassed for making a lot of noise. Eren rubs his neck before sitting down as mikasa pours him a glass of tea.
"So tell me ,what's been bothering you Eren. You've been kind of ...overwrought" she leans back in her chair looking directly at Eren , but with a calm-sibling look
"overwrought? What does that mean" Eren never heard that word before I bet Armin knows since he loves the dictionary
Mikasa sighs befre replying " It's another word for jumby, nervous, fidgety, uneasy, restless, uptigh- "
OK! I get it jeez you don't have to go that far, yes I have been overwrought, but that doesn't mean I'm not myself "
"Eren you know I worry about you and your well-being, but these dreams are they hurting you in any way?" Mikasa had a worry gaze on her face , a gaze that was looking directly at him.
"Well um I know this is gonna sound crazy but ..I think Levi's trying to reach out to me like talk to me, but I don't know what it means"
Mikasa's face turned into a gaze that non can even explain. It looked like a mix of worry and self-regret
"Mikasa? Are you ok?" Eren was worried that he might of said something wrong that might of hurt her feelings
"Yes Eren I'm fine...Tell me what were your dreams about?" Mikasa turned to Eren with a series stare
"Well for starters the dreams I've been having are from past conversations I had with levi when he was... alive. Also sometimes when I'm awake ..totally awake I hear this voice that saying "wake up" or " Eren please don't go"
"What do you think he's trying to tell you?" Mikasa took another sip of her tea and held it in her hands waiting for Eren to answer
"That's the thing I can't figure out. Its like I know the answer but I can't seem to reach that answer. Do you know what I mean?"
"Yes I do know what you mean" Mikasa nods at Erens question "Eren I care about you and I worry about you , but this I don't know what to say to this. If you believ that he's trying to reach you ...reach for him let him know your there." Mikasa gives Eren a smile before going upstairs to do some laundry. Mikasa said that Eren can leave when he wants to and if he needed anything just ask me.
Mikasa POV
Oh Eren
If only you knew what has really happened
Mikasa walks to her window and opens it seeing that bright sun shining brightly.
Eren's POV
Mikasa was acting strange when I talked about my dreams and how Levi was trying to reach out to me. Did it upset her when I talked about him and how I think he was trying to reach out to me. No that can't be It. It just can't be. I need some fresh air.
"Mikasa! I'm going to go now if that's ok" I yelled up the stairs
"Yeah that's fine see you later!" After she responded I made my way to Levis grave. I just want to know what this all means ...I'm so confused!
How long must I wait for you?
Eren gets home and lays down on his bed, its been 2 days since he ever got a good nice rest. He's been searching for any clue that Levi might be still alive and trying to search for him. Eren knows that everyone says he's gone and he sacrificed his life for his. He shouldn't keep mourning over Levi after 5 year's but how can anyone forgive themselves for loosing the one who cares about you most. When Eren was almost drifting off to sleep he hears the voice calling to him once more.
"Eren ..please wake up"
"huh? what" Eren stumbles out of the bed half-asleep
A wind blows through his open window and the gust of wind was so powerful that it blew open his drawers and papers flew everywhere. Eren thought he was dreaming but he pinched himself ,and he wasn't dreaming , this is real. Eren closes the window still half-asleep. He starts to pick up the papers that were scrambled all over the floor. He notices something about the papers , they were letters that Levi made for him, but didn't send them cause these were letters that he was to afraid to share. Eren read the first one that were in his hands, he sat on the bed and read ...and read
Dear Eren,
Ok if you show this to anyone I'll kill you without hesitation. There's been something I've been meaning to ask you, of course you won't be getting this because I just can't ok! So this is something that people can't usually describe or interoperate, but with you it's just simple. Yours eyes make me actually smile , yeah I know , shocking right?. But it's true your whole figure makes me want to be with you. Yeah I know that sounds weird , but think of it as like cuddling or something or hugging like that kind of thing. But the thing is I care about you and I love you Eren Yaegar.I actually fucking love you.You have no idea how many times I want to just hold you and kiss you God! But there's this one doubt in me that you won't return my feelings back I just have to try , if it succeeds, yay we're both gay , but seriously if you return my feelings you have no idea how it will make me smile. But if you don't I hope you don't think of me in a different way. Of course like I said you wont be getting this letter.
Love Levi
(Eren has Levi's room if youre wondering)
"Of all the time I've lived in this room, I've never noticed this haha"
Eren starts to tear up again he holds the letter tight to him, never letting go.
Let go Eren...Just let go
"Eren ...Eren wake up" Eren wakes confused, until he remembers what happened yesterday. He expected it to be Mikasa but it was actually Hanji.
"HANJI?!" He practically screamed her name
"Jeez, calm down Eren ...I just came to talk with you." Hanji was looking at the paper Eren was holding between his hands.
Eren followed her gaze and looked at the letter that levi gave him or was meant for him.
"Oh this ,i-its nothing don't worry about it" Eren suddenly got up quickly and put the letter in the draw.
"I don't know if you had a rough sleep or something, but we need to talk, ok?"
"Y-yeah what about?" Eren looked at Hanji and noticed the serious look of hers. This isn't good.
"First get situated and I'll meet you outside" with that final word she walked out leaving a confused Eren.
Few moments later
Eren walks out being blinded by the shimmering sunlight and the bright blue sky of this now safe world. He remembers when he and Levi would always ride their horses into battle and always look at each other hopeing they will make it out stops gazing at the sky and walks over to where Hanji is waiting patiently.
"Eren"
"What Hanji?" He was actually a little scared of what she might say. Like "you need to move on" or "this isn't healthy for you".
"Yeesh kid chill I can practically hear your thoughts. It's not about Levi or about me trying to convince you it's about something more important." Hanji took a deep breath in and exhaled it then she look at me directly and quickly.
"It's time for you to wake up" I looked at Hanji confused wake up? What does she mean by that. Like wake up to reality or wake up literally.
"Hanji I don't kn-" I look around seeing things disappearing
"Oh yes you do Eren" I look up and see Mikasa standing where Hanji just was.
"M-mikasa?! Where did Hanjj go" I think I'm going crazy
"Eren you need to wake up this isn't your world anymore" Mikasa said sternly. I think my eyes are playing tricks on me because I thought I just saw the whole world disappear around me and I was floating above nothing.
"Mikasa? What's going on?" I was frightened. I mean like really frightened.
"Eren it's time to wake up" she whispered
That was the very last thing I heard before she disappeared into internal darkness.
I fell endlessly through darkness not sure where I was or what was going on, but I started to feel something or someone. It felt like life and light. I couldn't quite explain it but it felt like love.
Your alive!?
I awoke unaware where I was. But all I could feel was a hand against mine. I couldn't quite move for some reason to turn my head to see who was holding my hand so tightly. That's when I realized that I was in a bed and a beeping sound that didn't sound to far away. I try to move my free hand and see scars on it. Where did I get these from. Where am I. This isn't-.
"Eren?" the voice was soft and soothing to Eren's ears. It was so familiar that he could distinguish who it was. Eren turned his head slowly to face the man that was trying to communicate with him. Once his eyes had adjusted, he saw a short pale man sitting on chair beside his bed. The man had black lush hair with a bit of an under shave by his neck. His eyes were a cloudy grey colour that stood out from his blood shot eyes. "Is he crying?" I thought to himself. Before I knew it, the name of the man came out of my mouth.
"Levi? Is, is that you?" Eren's voice was husky. He barely recognized it was his own. Levi's eyes started to fill up with tears. Did he say something wrong, but before he could ask, Levi spoke.
"God Eren, I thought that was the end for you. I thought you would die... in my arms." The room went silent. Eren was so confused. He didn't know what was going on.
"What happened? I don't remember." For a second he thought that Levi was disappointed about not remembering. Eren knew he wasn't though.
"You risked your life, trying to save my ass brat." Levi said looking away from Eren. His voice was harsh. Eren knew though that deep inside Levi was drowning in emotions. Before he had a chance to say something the memories started to fill the boys mind.
"Levi!" Eren shouted as he ran towards Levi. He wouldn't let Levi get eaten. Before The titan had a chance to eat him, Eren pushed Levi away from the titan's mouth. The young boy was in its grotesque jaws; legs still sticking out. Eren felt a sharp pain his chest. This was the end for him, wasn't it. Closing his eyes he let the titan slowly bite down. Tears rolled down his cheeks. He then felt a gush of wind from behind him. "Did it open its mouth?" Eren thought to himself. He was falling, and he couldn't do anything about it. A loud snap erupted from his back as he hit the ground. The Pain felt like an explosion had occurred all over his spinal cord. Everything went black.
"Eren, Eren! Fuck, Eren can you hear me?!" Levi wrapped his arms around Eren, violently shaking him hoping that he would wake up.
"Heichou, stop it! You'll make him bleed even more than he already is!" he couldn't recognize who's voice it was. All Levi wanted to do was to hold Eren in his arms knowing that he was going to be ok. Pressing his ear against Eren's chest, Levi couldn't hear a pulse. He could even feel Eren's chest slowly rise and fall. All he could feel was a cold body.
"God Damn It! I can't hear his heart beating!" Levi held the fragile body tightly against his own. He then felt people pulling on his arms. This only made him hold on tighter. Levi was so afraid to let go of the boy. "If I let go ill lose him forever!" He thought to himself. Knowing that he was losing the only thing that mattered in his life and not being able to tell how he felt made his heart ache. Levi always had trouble expressing his emotions. For the first time in a while though all the feelings he had inside were pouring out. Tears rolled down his face as he kept yelling "Eren, Eren! ERENNNN!"
Finally someone got a grip on Levi's arm and yanked him off of Eren. Members of the recon corps huddled around the dying body. Levi felt so lost. Everything went quiet and before Levi knew it, everything went black.
"Eren, Eren, Eren!" Levi was yelling at Eren. Finally the boy snapped out of his memory and looked up at the older man. Eren's eyes were full of tears. A smile slowly formed at his mouth.
"I'm glad that you're alive Levi."Eren said whipping his tears. Levi watched as tears stained Eren's cheeks. Droplets of water stuck to his long lashes .Lifting the boy's hand, Levi intertwined his fingers with Eren's; slowly stroked his hand. The feeling of Eren's hand in his felt so comforting. Knowing that this boy was breathing made it even better.
"I'm so fucking happy that your alive too, kid." Eren's smile grew even larger at the man's words. Bringing himself into a sitting position, Eren could feel and hear his back crack. Levi was shocked that he could even move. Eren once again turned his head to face Levi. He carefully placed his hand against his cheek. Whipping the tears that ran down Levi's face, Eren leaned in close to his face whispering "Levi, I love you."
"Brat, I love you too" he whispered back gently
" I don't understand. You died , a-and-
"Eren" Levi said reassuring
"You've been in a coma for a year, we were fighting the final battle and you got injured a-and" tears startled to flow from his eyes. I gently put my hands on his cheeks rubbing the gently reassuring him so that he could go on.
Levi put his hand on Erens holding the tightly
"After the titan got you I killed it with every strength I had left in me" he stopped talking after that he put his head against mine whispering softly of how he's sorry.
"Levi, I-I thought you died, I guess the coma explains everything. I was in the world where you weren't existent. I couldn't bare the fact that you were gone. Was it you? Was it you that was calling my name, trying to bring me back?
"You heard me?" Levi gave me a shoked expression, but at the same time a happy smile
"I heard you. I wasn't sure if it was you or my imagination. You want hear the funny part, it felt like I was there for 5 years, but I wasn't was I?"
He answered with short nod against my head. He gave me a kiss on my head,my cheeks, and finally on my lips.
It felt so good to feel those sweet lips against mine. It felt like century's since we last kissed like that. It felt glorious. The kiss gave us satisfaction that we were here, alive. I was happy, very happy ,but I needed him to answer a question that's been lingering my mind when I woke up.
"Levi?"
"Hm?"
"Where's Mikasa?"
Levi shot up immediately, looking at me worryingly "I-I..."
"I saw her...she was telling me to wake up, I didn't understand what she was talking about."
"She died... Eren... I'm so sorry" I was speechless, shoked .
"She can't be ...she CAN'T" I didn't want to believe it ...I didn't
"SHE DIED TRYING TO SAVE YOU!" He grabbed my shoulders looking at the ground not being able to look into my eyes
I stopped ,froze "what...do you mean by that?"
"Y-you lost a lot of blood, M-mikasa gave her your blood to save y-you" he shook as he looked at me with pain? suffering?
I didn't like ... I didn't like how he looked at me like that. I grabbed his shoulder and stared at him with pleading eyes, to stop looking at me that , I used my other arm to pull him into a tender embrace.
"It wasn't your fault. I got to see her one last time that's the important part." I rubbed his back softly and gentle
"You saw her when you were in your coma?" He said barely a whisper
" Yes" I kissed his head and started to gently stroke his hair" it's gotten longer I thought. So that's why mikasa wanted me to wake up it wasn't reality it was a dream that I made of my worst fear.
"Can I go home?"
"You are home , wherever I am your home"
With that he pulled me into another passionate kiss this time with slightly more force. The kiss told me many things.
I'm here, with you, forever and always
AN
Oook that took wwwaaay longer then I expected I did this for a very special author of mine. I can't put her name on here cause it won't allow me for some reason but before you read this read despite how far you are (the first before this, it'll make ore sense.)
I wanted to make a part two cause I wanted a happy ending
She's my favorite author once you see the title you'll know; by the way it won't end here it'll be Levis pov sort of... well it'll be like the epilogue to show how erens doing