_-+-_Prologue _-+-_
All those pictures were a lie.
They're hanging on the walls, sitting up on the mantel and tables, even posted on Facebook. At a first look you'll find a happy family of five whose probably been through everything together. Looking a little closer you'll see that in fact only two of the three siblings are actually blood related, and you're looking at a family brought together by re-marriage. You won't see the missing piece, the big part, until you're standing right in front, looking into the hallowed out eyes of dark depths.
I've been told he was just a boy. Break ups happen, even I know that. That I need to move on and get on with my life. What they forget was that I had lost three of my best friends along with it, my only friends. And he was more than just a boy.
I scared my mother, I knew that. I haven't eaten a meal since he left, only snacked on little portions like a bowl of chips here and there or yogurt, sometimes a bagel. Since their departure I've had nothing else to do but go back to the white barren walls coated in pictures of our time together. Looking at the plastered walls filled, I realize how empty I actually am.
It's been over a year since James left, and I've been slowly dying ever since. I've survived it though, and I realized that as I walked up to the podium earlier that one afternoon, and delivered my speech as valedictorian. Then I realized how much of my life I've lost in the past year trying to remember someone who's forgotten my name as soon as he stepped on the plane and became out of my sight. I can't go on with my life if I don't let go of him. He's done his part, it's my turn. Like the overly clichéd saying, if you love someone, you have to let them go. And so I did. As I walked up the stage once more, feeling the heat of the lights on me, the sound of the crowd cheering as I remove the rolled up diploma from the principles hand. Leaving the stage, I leave the past four years behind; everyone I went to school with, the halls, the teachers, and now, James.
That night I let a big part of my life go, for the better or for the worst, I haven't decided.
I spent the summer collecting my baring's and drawing out my new life. Most of my summer days were spent working at the skate shop and volunteering at an animal hospital in Duluth. It distracted me and kept me going, draining me by the end of the day so I would fall asleep almost immediately after dinner. No more late night lonely experience in my bedroom with a glass of water and a razor.
One day as Sam, a middle aged man with black greying hair and a goatee to match the white who worked as a fire fighter, and also my step-dad, was outside working on the broken AC, trying to decipher what was wrong with it. Ryan was out there trying to help him, being the only guy in the house and immediately being docked as dad's helper. I sat on the kitchen stools with my mom, five college letters spread out in front of us with their ripped envelopes falling on the floor.
Two declines, both from Minnesota. The other was Florida, and last two were Cali.
Florida was a long shot, more of a last resort. My mom did not dare send me all the way down to the southern state for college all alone, no matter how much I tried to convince her. That left the two in California. After researching, my mom figured California State in LA was the best option.
We did much arguing on the topic before it finally came to a still in which my mom had the favor. I was going to Los Angeles in the fall. The one place on earth I begged to be, but now was the last.