This "story" does not as much contain chapters as it does stories. In this document, you will find Star Wars: The Clone Wars shorts, rather than an entire book. Other than that, sit back, relax, and enjoy the show...er...book.

I cannot take credit for this chapter. My best friend Weird Person Who Lives On Mars wrote it Warriors style. I changed a few things to make it Star Wars.

You Have GOT to Stop Yelling

Anakin surveyed his surroundings. Marshes and dead trees littered the Separatist camp. Eagerly, the young Jedi looked over at his master, Obi-Wan Kenobi. The Jedi's blue-grey eyes glinted in the last light of the day. Obi-Wan's eyes were so focused on the camp, that Anakin wasn't even sure if he had blinked all day!

Anakin sighed, this mission to spy on a separatist meeting was sooooo boring. They had been sitting for nearly five hours already!

With one final sigh, the impatient Jedi yanked out a small, hand held game. Stuffing it under his black robe so his master couldn't see, Anakin began to play.

As the evening droned on, Anakin became more tied up in his game.

Soon, the long awaited arrival of the separatist meeting began. Count Dooku strutted up to a enormous boulder and jumped effortlessly atop the massive structure. A hush fell over the Droids, Assassins and Bounty Hunters that had gathered in the clearing.

Obi-Wan shifted his weight, desperately trying to catch every word.

Count Dooku started his speech. "The reason why I have called a top secret meeting, is because we are having a major baked bean blight".

Gasps and mummers of worry roes from the hoard of people, as well as several choruses of "Beans, Beans, the Magical Fruit".

Dooku held up his hand for silence. "Yes, yes. I know it is a disaster", he continued, his voice full of disappointment, "But believe it or not, we have bigger issues. The Jedi".

Obi-Wan strained to hear the words that could be the down fall of his home.

In a low whisper, Dooku started to tell of his plot. "I plan..." he paused dramatically, "...TO-".

His sentence was interrupted by a triumphant yell. "YES! I BEAT MY HIGH SCORE!"

Heads darted in Anakin's direction. The young Jedi, who was completely oblivious to his surroundings, was happily playing the hand held game mentioned earlier.

Obi-Wan took off, back to the Jedi crusier, parked a few miles away. Anakin, however, wasn't so lucky. He found himself being snapped back to reality by a dozen or so angry, hands. Before you could say...well...anything, Anakin was slammed in a dark, dank prison cell.

Anakin had to bite his lip to keep from trembling as Dooku approached.

"Well young Jedi", the great Sith Lord gloated, "your Master got away, but I still have you".

Anakin's voice shook uncontrollably as he spoke, "Wa...whaaat...yo, yo, you gonna do taaa...meeee?"

"I WILL...", the Sith Lord paused, then whispered to the nearest Bounty Hunter, "What should I do to him".

Hastily the Bounty Hunter whispered back a reply.

"AH-HA", Dooku exclaimed, "WILL HAVE YOU CLEAN MY BATHROOM!"

Gasps of horror filled the camp, Droids ran around screaming, Bounty Hunters jumped into the Assassins arms, Anakin himself was paralyzed with fear.

Dooku rubbed his hands together devilishly, and stalked away laughing.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Anakin awoke expecting to hear the earthshaking snores of his Master. Silence. He glanced around, then remembered where he was. in a jail, a prison. He was a lone polar bear, rooming the vast, lifeless plains of the Arctic.

Suddenly, there was the sound of a light saber activating. The tip of a blue light saber appeard. I made a large hole in the roof, revealing the annoyed face of...Obi-Wan!

"That's like, what? The fifth time you've been captured this month." Obi-Wan asked.

Anakin scowled and prepared to jump. The Jedi leapt, but fell short. He tried again. The same results.

"Stubby", Obi-Wan joked.

"Am not", Anakin hissed.

The two men broke out into a whisper war.

"Are too".

"Are not".

"Are too".

"Are not".

"Are too".

"Are not".

"Are too".

"Are not".

"Are too".

"Are not".

"Are too".

Finally, Anakin lost it. "ARE NOT!"

Dozens of Droids crammed into the cell, to try and seize the intruder.

"Later losers!", the older Jedi cried, disappearing from veiw

Hours turned into days and days turned into unicorns...oh, sorry...and days turned into weeks, my bad.

Anakin spent most of his time pacing (he almost wore a hole through the floor) and staring blankly out a window that didn't exist.

Then one summer evening, a familiar face appeared in the hole in the roof.

"I'm coming Anakin, I didn't want to, but the council made me come after you", Obi-Wan said. The Jedi heaved himself to his feet, and leaped down into the hole. Now the hole was big, but not big enough to allow a full grown man to pass through it.

Anakin glanced up to see his former Master's lower half, jammed up in the ceiling. With a heavy sigh, Anakin heaved the rest of the body down into the cell. "Your fat", he mumbled.

Obi-Wan narrowed his eyes, rubbing his sore abdomen. "If anyone around here is fat", he shot back, "it's you chubby"

"I am not chubby!"

"Ya huh!"

"Nuh uh!"

"Ya huh!"

"Nuh uh!"

"Ya huh!"

"Nuh uh!"

"Ya huh!"

"Nuh uh!"

"Ya huh!"

"Nuh uh!"

"Ya huh!"

"I AM NOT CHUBBY!" Anakin screamed.

As Obi-Wan had a hard enough time getting down, it was physically impossible for him to get back up again before the hoards of droids closed in around him and Anakin. Before you could say "Blast!", the two Jedi were shoved into a new jail, and a very grumpy repair droid was sent to repair the holed roof.

Obi-Wan shot a menacing glance at Anakin "You have got to stop yelling", he concluded.