I found this fic that I wrote a long time ago, and thought it would be fun to post it. So, here it is...
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ABBY'S LAB
Mcgee sat uncomfortably in the desk chair with wires attached to various places on his body. Abby had created a make-shift Polygraph machine to help him prepare for his upcoming test, however, it was irritating him more than helping him.
"Ok," Abby said attaching the last wire to Mcgee, "I couldn't get a real polygraph machine, so I made my own"
Mcgee squirmed in the chair under all the wires. "Now," Abby said sitting infront of her computer, "What's your name?"
McGee didn't answer instead he wiggled his nose trying, and failing, to get rid of an itch.
"Give me your name!" Abby yelled at him.
McGee continued to wiggle his nose, "Will you quit acting like a Nazi and come scratch my nose?" he asked.
She got up and scratched the right side of his nose with the sharp tweezers she used to attach the wires. "Ow! Hey careful! Those hurt!" McGee exclaimed.
Abby stoped and asked the question again, "McGee, what's your name?"
Mcgee sighed, "Timothy no middle initial McGee,"
BEEP BEEP
"Any other names?"
"Does a pen name count?"
"Yes."
"Ok, Thom E. Gemcity."
BEEP BEEP
"Are you sure that's all?"
McGee thought for a second, "Yeah, that's all..."
"Hmm..." Abby started to type away on her computer, then adjusted the probes on Mcgee. "Ok let's try this again, what is your name? That includes pen names and all."
Mcgee gave an exhasperated sigh, "Ok, my name is Timothy Mcgee, no middle intial. I use Thom E. Gemcity as a pen name for my book, and that is all."
BEEP BEEP
They both frowned, "Ok, either you're lying or there is something wrong with my machine, and if you can't answer something as easily as your name, then you are not going to survive that polygraph test." Abby stated matter-of-factly. "Let's try a different question. Ok, umm...let's see..." she paced infront of him trying to come up with a question. "I know!" she finaly exclaimed turning to face him, "How long have you known me?"
"3 almost 4 years," McGee answered instantly.
"Hmm...well you answered that question faster than you answered your name..." Abby pointed out, "but, no beep, so that's good."
McGee felt his ears turn red and gave a nervous smile.
"Ok, how long did we date?" Abby asked with a smile.
"A little over a year," McGee answered with a sheepish grin.
Abby's smile grew, no beep. "Ok, why did we break up?" her smile faded.
"Umm... Well...we a... You said a... That umm... I was...ya know..." he frowned and looked down at his lap, "insecure," he wispered.
Abby frowned, "Did that hurt you?"
"uhh... Well yes..." he answered quietly.
Still no beep.
"Did you ever stop loving me?" she asked getting closer to him so her face was inches away from his.
McGee looked up so his and Abby's lips were almost touching, "Yes..." he answered.
BEEP BEEP
McGee smiled nervously, "You're lying," Abby said with a grin.
"Umm...uhh...well..." McGee stuttered. But before he could explain Abby's lips were on his. He kissed back and when they finaly broke apart they were both had smiles on their faces. "I never stopped either..." she smiled. McGee kissed her again this time they broke apart to the sound of the elevator doors opening.
"So, where were we?" She asked quickly standing back infront of her computers. "What's your name?" she asked again.
McGee looked around in a nervous daze, "Uhh... Umm..."
"McGee name!" she yelled snapping him back into reality.
He sighed, no one was in the lab. Yet. "Timothy No middle initial McGee, and my pen name Thom E Gemcity."
BEEP BEEP
"Ok it's you or my machine, and since it's a machine and it can't lie-"
"Hal lied through his chips" Tony pointed out as he walked into the lab with Ziva behind him.
"I thought the expression was to lie through your teeth?" Ziva questioned.
"Hal the computer, 2001sci-fi classic" Tony explained.
"How can a 6 year old movie be a classic?" Ziva questioned.
"The film it was made in 1968, 2001 space oddessy directed by Sanley Cubric how long do you-"
"Guys," Abby interupted, "I'm trying to prep McGee for his polygraph on Monday."
"Reeaallyyy..." Tony streched out the word, "What's the problem?"
"He panics taking test," Abby explained
"It's not uncommon," McGee defdended.
"It started in Kindergarten, couldn't change his answer," Abby said.
"Hard to erase crayon," Tony teased.
"Tony it's not funny, retaining my special agent status depends on passing this test." Mcgee explained.
"Oh, this is deffinately a lie," Ziva spoke up examining the polygraph machine.
"What did you ask him?" Tony questioned.
"His name." Abby replied.
"You lied about your name!" Ziva sounded surprised.
"No!" McGee protested, "Timothy McGee is my legal name, Thom E Gemcity is my pen name, I don't have any other names."
"Probie" Gibbs said walking into the lab.
"Yeah boss?" Mcgee answered.
"And Elf Lord. Two other names." Gibbs pointed out. He turned towards Abby, "Why are you torcuring Mcgee?"
"I am not tourcuring McGee!" she protested, "I am preping him, he has his CPS polygraph on Monday"
"Who order that?" Gibbs asked
"Home land security" McGee answered, "All agents must take it, directors included." he said with a smile, "check your emails."
Tony and Ziva took out their phones and Tony let out a moan "Monday 0900," Tony said.
"Tuesday 1300." Ziva said looking at her phone.
"Boss what time do you-" he looked around but Gibbs had already left the lab.
THE END
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