NARUHINA MONTH: PROMPTS AND RESPONSES

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Day 1: New Years and New Beginnings

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He died in a car crash, exactly one year before, on New Year's Eve.

Hyuuga Hinata stood in front of a small wooden cross planted in the dirt. Night had fallen, and stars littered the sky, hidden behind thin, stringy clouds. The weather was brisk, and a light layer of snow dusted the ground, while snowflakes still fluttered softly, silently down from the sky. Flowers were spread around the cross, and Hinata held a match. At her feet rested a candle.

Sliding the match against the side of the matchbox sent shivers up her spine.

Sllltch.

Suddenly, light.

She wondered briefly if this was how it had been for Neji, a little. A scrunching sound, the undeniable realization of something crashing into something else, and then -

She closed the box and put it at her feet, quickly picking the candle up and lighting it. She blew the match out, waiting a few moments for it to stop smoking, before flinging it to the ground, stomping on it a few times.

She didn't need to, but it was so frustrating.

Her cousin was dead, and there was nothing she could do about it. Even after a year, the pain was still so potent, so raw...

She bent down and picked up a flower, re-arranging it so there were an even number of flowers on either side of the cross. Neji had always been a bit obsessive about symmetry, to the point where he nagged incessantly if something wasn't equally spread or divided. It meant he was a mathematical genius, also excelling in science, but it made history especially annoying to him.

Because there was always a winner, and always a loser.

Always death, and always survivors.

And it wasn't fair.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, sliding into a sitting position. "I know it's not my fault, but I'm still... so..." She drew her knees to her chest, resting her chin on top of them.

He supposedly lost control of his car while returning from his part-time job. He was a year older than her, but he'd already graduated high school, and he commuted to college. He had been working to pay for his studies. He had planned on taking an accelerated class; he'd been super excited about it. A class he'd never taken.

"I know Lee likes Tenten, but I don't know if she..." She trailed off, words not coming enough to express her emotions. "She really loved you. I know you loved her, too. And you were working so hard for the baby..." She smiled in spite of herself. "Hizashi was probably exactly what you would have ever wanted from a son. I know you would want him to have a father, and after all, you did choose Lee as godfather, but..." She shrugged. "Who knows? But Hizashi is perfect. I just wonder how he would be if his daddy were here." She smiled again.

"Sasuke finally came home, too," she said. "I know you probably would've given him a harder time than all the others, but Kiba's more than made up for that." She laughed. "He makes him pay for everything any time we all go out, even if Sasuke himself isn't going. And as for Naruto, he..."

Here she stopped, pausing to think.

"He hasn't said for sure," she said, choosing her words carefully. "But he's much more aware. I think he finally realizes... And any time I say something, or do anything for him, his eyes go wide, like he's finally realizing why, for the first time..." She laughed lightly. "He probably is just realizing, though, so... I guess it's natural." She fingered the flower she's moved. "I just wish you were here. You helped me be so strong, even when the truth is, I'm..." She felt her eyes watering. "I just... You always knew what to say, and I kno-"

Crunch.

Her eyes snapped open, and she turned around, eyes wide.

"Hey. Uh... Am I interrupting?"

She shook her head.

"N-No, not at all." She glanced nervously at his face, then looked down. "Uh... would you... like to join... me?" she asked, feeling a bit awkward. "N-Naruto?"

"Yeah, sure!" She turned back towards the cross as Naruto sat down beside her with a loud plop. She stole a glance at his face, then hurriedly looked away when she realized he was looking at her.

"Isn't your butt getting wet from the snow?" asked Naruto, shifting uncomfortably.

She shook her head.

"N-No, I... I brought..." She didn't finish, just scooted over to make room for Naruto on the blanket she'd brought to sit on. He chuckled and shuffled closer to her, imitating her sitting position.

They sat in silence for awhile.

"Are you talking to him?" he asked her finally.

She blushed and nodded.

"Y-Yes," she said. "I-I know it's silly, because he's not buried here, but..." Her eyes focused on the cross, and she clutched the candle more tightly. "I... I just feel his presence here, like he's with me whenever I come here..."

Naruto was silent, and she was too nervous to look him in the face.

"Wh-Why are you here, Naruto?" she asked shyly.

"Oh," he said, "Hanabi told me you were coming here, so I decided to come, too."

Simple, but very Naruto.

She smiled and nodded.

"I-I see..."

"Yup." She heard him shifting on the blanket, and then his gloved hand covered hers, holding the candle as well. She nearly jerked away from him, but he also placed a hand gently on her back, and so she froze instead, tensing anxiously. "What's this for?"

She didn't dare meet his eyes, carefully reminding herself to breathe.

"I-It's a candle," she said dumbly. She mentally groaned at her awful excuse of an answer. "I-I mean, it's a, uhm, a tradition we used to..." She took a steadying breath, and she knew Naruto was waiting patiently for her to continue when he didn't say anything else. "We used to light candles together on New Years, at the house, i-in the backyard. N-Not always, just one for each year we were together. N-Not including before, just after we made up, in middle school..."

"I remember," Naruto said. Hinata nodded, and Naruto moved his hand from her back, reclining, spreading his legs out in front of him as much as he could without touching the flowers. "So why one candle?"

She swallowed.

"Th-This is one year... Our first year... Apart."

The tears were back. Naruto sat up quickly, hand letting go of the candle as he put his arms comfortingly on her shoulders. She struggled to keep from crying, but it was a losing battle.

"I'm sorry," he muttered. She shook her head.

"I-It's okay."

There was a moment of silence, before Naruto's grip on her shoulders tightened.

"No," he said gently, "It's not. I don't think it ever will be."

And she cried. Tears spilling from her eyes, tears for every moment she'd spent the entire year without Neji, without her cousin there to nag at her, to sarcastically rebuke her and their friends, to smile and chuckle at Hizashi, to sigh at Gai and Lee, to roll his eyes at Naruto, to comfort her, to help her through her studies, to help her through her struggles, to help her with anything. Because he was dead, he was never coming back, never going to do any of those things again. Even his body was gone, cremated, just like he'd always asked them to do, because he didn't want to be confined to the ground, trapped in the earth. He had always wanted to be free, and now he finally was, but it hurt so much, so much, and so she cried. Her tears fell freely, and her body was wracked with sobs, and Naruto was so close, but so far...

She must have cried forever, because when she'd finally calmed down enough for Naruto to remove his hands, the snow had stopped falling, and her candle was spluttering into lifelessness. She cradled the flame with her hand, and then Naruto gently took the candle from her, handing her a kleenex.

"I thought we'd need these," he said by way of explanation. She took it gratefully and did her best to wipe away the mess she'd crumbled into.

"Th-Thank you," she said. Naruto nodded, then passed the candle back to her. She held it, watching the flame slowly die away. Finally, a small gust of wind blew it into nothingness, and she felt her breath hitch.

It was gone.

He was gone.

She looked at her wristwatch, then felt a sad smile, the saddest she'd ever had, creep onto her face.

"One year without him," she said softly.

The wind rustled the flowers, and she softly put the candle down. Put her head defeatedly on top of her knees.

Felt arms suddenly wrap around her, pull her close, and her eyes widened.

"I'm sorry," Naruto mumbled into her ear, arms tightening around her. "He didn't deserve it. Neither did you, or Tenten, or Hizashi or Lee..." He trailed off, and she sighed.

"I-It's o-"

"No, it's not!" Naruto replied vehemently. "It's not fair! I know he..." Naruto's voice broke. "He could've... He always knew what to say..."

A tear dripped down Hinata's face, and it was Naruto's turn to sigh.

"He could make you smile. But I can't. I don't know how..."

Hinata carefully, hesitantly, turned so she could return his embrace. She breathed in his scent - ramen and ink, the smell of someone who believed words could change the world - and felt him hug her more tightly.

"Y-You don't have to love me," she said. "Just be happy. I'll always smile if y-you... if you can do that."

"That's not what I mean," Naruto replied. "There's nothing I can say that can heal you, heal any of us."

"Neji wouldn't have been able to, either," she said, finally realizing what he was getting at.

"No, Neji would have," Naruto said. "He would do it better than any of us, anyway."

Hinata had to smile lightly at that. Naruto was absolutely right. Neji always knew what to say to make someone upset, but he also knew exactly what to say to soothe a grieving soul. He was able to perceive the inner turmoil within people and peel away the layers to see the true source, and use that knowledge to either harass or bandage.

"I know he wouldn't want you to cry," Naruto continued. "And if I had the words, I could help you, but I don't."

"No one does," Hinata replied. "B-But... Neji would have wanted us all to continue to live." She pulled away, and Naruto did, too. He saw the tear trailing down her face and wiped it away gently, his hand lingering on her cheek for longer than necessary.

" I know that."

She looked at the roses, releasing Naruto. He kept one hand on her shoulder, and she knew it was a hesitant gesture; he was waiting for her permission. She granted it, slowly leaning onto his shoulder, and his arm wrapped more tightly around her, pulling her closer. She felt a blush dust her features, and then laughed softly. Naruto shifted to look down inquisitively at her.

"He's probably l-laughing at me right now," she explained. The wind picked up to tickle their faces, as if to confirm her thoughts. "I'm always so shy."

Naruto cracked a grin at that.

"Eh, I'm sure he's laughing at me, too!" He put his free arm at the nape of his neck. "Probably nagging me, too, to hurry up and figure my feelings out."

She smiled.

"No," she said, "I think he wants you t-to take your time. I'm sure he would have wanted that."

Naruto nodded.

"You're probably right, actually." He stretched his arms, then put his arm around her shoulder again, his free arm again going behind him to support his weight. "So... Now we live, right?"

She nodded, eyes going to the stars twinkling above them.

"Y-Yes," she said. "We live."

And the wind softly kissed her cheeks.