Chapter 1
Till The World Ends by I See Stars plays as race cars race along the Stephenson County Speedway.
"Remind me why we picked THIS over the movie." said a girl in the bleachers.
"'Cuz if one of them loses focus for even a millisecond or something, you have to like scrape them off the fence with a shovel, or something." said Napoleon Dynamite.
"Will you please go away?" asked the other guy in the stands. "You're not even supposed to be in this movie!"
"I need to go get some frickin tots anyways." said Napoleon and walked away.
Another guy took a drink out of binoculars.
"Here, you want some?" he asked the first guy.
"Ew! Is that Buddy Jim?" asked a second girl.
"No, it's straight up Jack." said the second guy.
"Maybe later." said the first guy.
"Hey, buddy!" shouted a guy in a black jacket. "May my girl use your binoculars?"
"Well, they're not really binoculars." said the second guy. "I wanna get busted and thrown out, so I put Jack in it and hoped to announce to the whole world that these aren't binoculars, they're straight up Jack!"
The black jacket guy's girlfriend grabbed the binoculars out of his hand and drank some.
"Drink as much as you like!" said the guy.
"Thanks for giving us a study break." said the second girl. "I really needed this."
JUST GET TO THE FUCKING PREMONITION WE ALREADY SAW IN ANOTHER MOVIE BUT WE WANNA SEE AGAIN!
A red race car drove off from the repair and gas station with a wrench-like thing in the back of the car. The thing then fell out and landed on the Speedway road where a blue car ran over it and busted a tire. The blue race car then flipped and sent a wheel into the crowd and it landed on the black jacket guy's girlfriend's head.
"Oh great!" said the girl. "I can't listen to music without dying!"
Everyone started running toward the entrance.
On the Speedway, the car was still flipping and another car hit it and exploded, sending the blue car in the crowd on fire.
"Something tells me that we need to leave." said another guy. He and his wife were walking toward the entrance of the Speedway when a flaming, sharp piece of metal flew and cut them in half.
Another woman got squashed by a motor from another car.
Meanwhile, the black jacket guy fell on a piece of wood that went up through the back of his head through his mouth.
As the first four people mentioned find their way to another exit, the ceilings collapse.
"Theo!" shouted the second girl. (Yes, Theo from Scary Movie 2).
"Cam!" shouted the second guy.
Right then, the top floors collapsed on them.
"Come on, Dolly!" said the second guy.
Right then, a race car exploded and killed Dolly, the security guard and this guy.
Real world...
"Hey, buddy! May my girl use your binoculars?"
"Well, they're not really binoculars. I wanna get busted and thrown out, so I put Jack in it and hoped to announce to the whole world that these aren't binoculars, they're straight up Jack!"
"We all gotta get out of here." said the guy.
"Rick, are you okay?" asked Dolly.
"There's gonna be a crash! We gotta get out of here!"
So, Dolly, Rick, Theo, the other guy, the mean guy from The Final Destination, a mechanic, his wife, a woman, her children, her husband and a security guard walked out of the Speedway.
"There's always a fucking crash!" said the friend.
"No, you don't understand." said Rick.
"I understand." said the guy.
"What then?" asked Rick.
The guy punched him in the face, making him fall.
"Could've had a V8."
"Have you all lost your minds!?" the mechanic's wife shouted, right before she was hit in the back of the head with a race car wheel.
SCARY MOVIE