Crush

"EDWARD!"

No, she's not talking to you, just go back to sleep.

"Edward get down here, now!"

Is my name Edward? I don't remember my name being so long...

"ED!"

"Oh shoot!" Ed bolted out of bed and scrambled down the stairs, managing to bump into the wall at least three times before he reached the kitchen. As he turned from the hallway he ducked to escape the projectile that almost took out his eye. When he turned he saw a fork stuck in the wall. "Winry, what was that for?"

"What took you so long? Grandma and I have been slaving over breakfast all morning, and you can't even get you're lazy butt down here to eat on time?" She stormed on about what a pain he was as he sat down at the kitchen table. After a minute a plate slammed down in front of him. "Eat!" Edward sighed and looked at his food. "Where's Al?" Winry added, looking down the hall. "I haven't seen him this morning."

"Oh, he went off to see mom's grave. He didn't want to wake me up, so he just left a note." Edward replied through a mouth full of eggs. Winry sighed and shook her head.

"What am I going to do with you?" She giggled as Ed threw down another huge mouthful of eggs.

...

Riza Hawkeye looked at the sleeping Colonel and sighed.

What am I going to do with you? She thought. Roy Mustang was slumped over his desk, clothes wrinkled and face unshaven. He looked a wreck, and he still had at least a month's amount of paperwork piled on his desk. "Colonel?" Her superior remained unresponsive. Riza gently called out again, "Colonel!"

"What?" The Colonel shot upright and tumbled out of his chair. Riza quickly helped him to his feet.

"Sir, you fell asleep here last night. I'm sorry I did not come to check up on you before I left headquarters. Would you like me to work on your paperwork while you wash up?"

"Um..." Roy slid a hand down his face and rubbed his eyes. He proceeded to look around the room until his gaze fell on the giant stack of paperwork piled on the desk behind him. "Would you mind?"

"I don't have any work to do at the moment, sir. I wouldn't mind at all." She smiled and added, "Relax for an hour or so after you wash up, will you? Havoc, Fuery, and I can easily cover for you." He looked severely at her, but eventually relented.

"Fine."

...

"Fine."

"YAY!" After 20 minutes of arguing, Ed had finally agreed to buy Winry a new wrench when Ed and Al passed by Rush Valley in a few weeks. As Ed went upstairs to finish packing for the return trip to Central, Winry's elation quickly became depression as she realized what that implied. He's going to leave me alone again. She sat on the couch and thought of what kinds of trouble the Elric brothers could get into at Central. She wanted more than anything to go with them, but Edward had hinted at dark times coming their way, although he refused to actually discuss anything with her. She hated that he left her, but she felt even more hatred toward the fact that she so desperately needed him. She thought about him almost constantly; her only reprieve being when she worked on increasingly difficult automail projects. Her grandmother congratulated her dedication, although it was partially from her need to stop obsessing over his well being.

Thump. Winry snapped back to the present as Ed carried a suitcase almost bigger than himself down the hall. She watched him for a moment before she got up. Should I tell him how I feel? Or would that just endanger him even more when he gets back to fighting whoever it is that tears apart his automail? She walked up to him as she came to a final decision, she stared him straight in the face, and as he looked up into her intense blue eyes she asked him... "Need any help?"

...

"Need any help?"

"Well, hello, Colonel! You look well." Hawkeye looked over Roy and had to admit he looked great. He had on a new uniform, he was clean shaven, and his hair was combed to utter perfection. He had even managed to look less tired in the process.

"Going on another date with one of my girlfriends?" Havoc sneered.

"No, I'm not. In fact, I just thought I needed to look more professional at work. That's all."

No date? That's unlike him. Hawkeye looked down at her paperwork as she noticed the Colonel eyeing her. She had a sneaking suspicion why he was dressed up so nicely at work, and she wasn't liking it one bit.

The day went on uneventfully in terms of work, but personally the Colonel was making some changes. Roy did something unimaginable. He declined two dates that called him while he was at work, something that did more than turn heads.

"Did you hear that?" Havoc whispered to Fuery. "That's the second girl he's turned down today!"

"Really?" Even Fuery seemed surprised.

Hawkeye's suspicions deepened...

Hawkeye said goodbye to Havoc and Fuery as they left the office. She continued filing away papers until her portion of desk was clean. Thanks to everyone's help, Mustang had only half the papers that had been on his desk that morning.

As she turned to leave the Colonel walked in the door from a meeting. She saluted him, but he seemed to ignore the greeting. She turned, confused, and faced him as he sat down.

"Are you alright, sir?"

"Riza, please don't be so formal with me." Riza looked stunned.

"Sir?"

"Please?" He quickly stood up and put his hands on her shoulders. His face was pleading. "I don't want to do this anymore. I will become Fuhrer, but I want you to be with me... not as my subordinate, but as my... girlfriend." His expression was pained, and he seemed terrified to let go of her. Afraid she would pull away from him.

Riza's mind raced at the implications of his proposal. She wanted nothing more than to embrace him, to say that she would always be his; that together they could take on the Fuhrer and his cronies, and avenge Hughes and everything would be fine. But she couldn't. She knew he would keep their relationship a secret for her safety, but it was risky. And what if I do nothing but slow him down? I'll be nothing but a nuisance, something else he already doesn't have time to worry about. I can't do this to him.

...

I can't do this to him. Winry thought. She picked up Ed's bag and helped him carry it to the front door. Pinako and Al were already outside playing with Den. She looked longingly at Ed, but knew deep in her heart that she was doing the right thing for him. For his safety. "So you're really leaving now?" she asked.

"Yeah, I get antsy when we stay in one place so long. Besides the fact that we have so much work to do when we get back to Central." Ed groaned and stretched his arms behind his head.

"Well then..." She looked at the floor and blushed unconsciously. Ed stopped stretching and looked up at her, only to end up blushing as well. He scanned the silent house for movement, and when he was sure noone was around, he stood on tiptoe and pecked her lips ever so gently. She was stunned into silence as he stared at the floor, as if trying to obtain some secret information from it's design. Winry's thoughts were going a mile a minute. She knew full well Ed wouldn't kiss someone unless he really loved them. He wasn't the type to rush into any kind of relationship, never mind a romantic one. She also knew that she felt the same way he did, something that terrified her to no end. No... You... We can't! If you love me, and I love you, I'll distract you! If you die it'll be all my fault! You idiot! You can't go get into trouble and not tell me anything, and than expect me to give my heart to you when you could go and die on me! I would never survive on my own if you didn't make it! No...no... "No...no, no, NO!" Winry yelled. "We can't do this! What if.." she couldn't finish her thought aloud. She stared at the ground, afraid she would break in two if she looked him in the eye. Ed flinched, but did not respond otherwise. He continued to stare at the floor, and then, after some inner decision, he simply turned and left. Winry could do nothing, nothing at all. Her legs crumpled from underneath her, and she fell, unable to stop the tears from coming. "No, no..."

...

"No." Riza gently took Roy's hands off her shoulders. She hated the conclusion she had come to, but she knew it was the right one. "I would rather we just be friends."

"Riz-"

"It's Hawkeye, sir." She quickly interjected. "Lieutenant Hawkeye at your service."

"But, Hawkeye, I don't-"

"Please, sir. Our relationship should stay just the way it is." She wanted to cry, but knew she had to be strong for him. He looked like someone had just punched him in the stomach.

"I thought you lov-" Oh god, I was afraid it would come to this. Hawkeye braced herself for the worst thing she would ever have to say in her entire life. She hoped she played this right, or else she would never get him to focus on becoming the Fuhrer. She took a deep breath...

"No. I never loved you," she winced inwardly as he almost keeled over. "You can never take care of yourself, and I'm always stuck cleaning up after your political and social messes!" Her expression was cold and unyielding; she tried her hardest to hate him for just one moment, but found it more difficult than she ever wanted to bear.

"What?" He still looked hopeful, pleading with her to tell him it was a joke, anything but that she was telling the truth. But she needed him to fall, to give up on this, and to return to his rightful path to save Amestris. She knew this had to be done.

"And you disgust me with the insane amount of girlfriends you have!" There. That did it. She though dejectedly as he fell to his knees, simply staring at the ground, not being able to think at all. He looked after her as she stormed off, lost for words. I'm sorry..., she cried.

That night, Hawkeye didn't sleep. She sat in bed and cried with Black Hayate, thinking of the terrible things she had said, and knowing that she could never take them back.