The Dream
@--- Chrissy
Prologue
(Cassie)
I was cleaning cages when the barn door opened. I looked at who had came in and smiled. "Hi, Jake."
His face was strait. "Hi, Cassie." There was no smile, just a plain, non-emotional face.
"What's wrong?" I asked him.
"It's about time for you to know the truth."
"What truth would that be?" I asked and my heart was hit with an unexpected punch.
His eyes became cold and hard. "I don't love you." He said with no emotion. "Further more, I never have."
"But..." I started, tears forming in my eyes. "What about... all the times..."
He smiled a cruel smile. "You'll be surprised at my acting abilities. Don't you see? It was all just part of the plan."
"What plan?" I asked, dreadfully.
He nodded to the doorway. And Rachel came from it.
"Not Rachel too," I moaned under my breath. Tears still flowing.
"The plan." She said simply. "To get back at you."
"To get back at me for what? What did I do?" I cried.
"You don't know?" She asked, like I should know. She laughed. "Cassie, think." She said to me like I was a little girl.
"I don't know," I replied, "Just tell me." I said, crying.
She looked at my anguished face and laughed. "For just being you. The things you did. The way you're acting towards this war. No one needs any softies in a war." She started.
"For your morals," Jake continued. "In a cold world like this, people with morals don't last long. They can't survive. And we're just trying to prove it to you. Now, you can let go of your morals and have a friend and boyfriend back, or you can just keep your morals and your best friend and boyfriend will no longer be yours."
"I'm sorry," I started and the tears started to flow faster. "But I can't let go of my morals. It..." I choked back a sob but not the tears. "My morals is what makes me who I am. If… if you two can't like me for who I am then… then you weren't really my friends in the first place."
"Okay, it was your decision." Rachel said and left.
"Yeah," Jake agreed. "We're not effected by it." And he left too.
I let the sobs out. The last thing I heard was the laughter of Jake and Rachel and Jake's voice, "Stupid girl. She actually believes people could like her for who she is."
Suddenly, it was dark and I was lying down on my bed. I got up shakily and found my way to the bathroom. I splashed cold water on my face and looked at myself in the mirror.
"How can I have a dream like that?" I asked myself. "I know that it's not true. It can't be."
But as I had the dream every night (with me waking up at different times), I started to believe that it really did happen. How else could I remember it so distinctly? It had to have really happened…
Chapter 1
The tears ran down my face. My heart was ripping apart. "How could-" I whispered to myself and choked. I sobbed. "But he"
The words replayed in my head "I've never loved you" "Don't you see? It was all a part of the plan" "She actually believes people could like her for who she is"
I wiped my tears and said strongly, "It can't be possible" but that just made me cry again. I heard the words from him I saw him with and she too.
I couldn't stand it anymore; I let out a deafening scream that wouldn't cease. I wanted it over. All of it over! Just make it be OVER!!!
"Cassie!" I heard faintly.
"Cassie!" I heard a little louder.
"Cassie!"
"Cassie!" Suddenly the voice was booming.
My eyes flew open and I hugged my mom and buried my face in her embrace. Tears started to flow. Eventually, my tears turned into full blown bawling.
"Cassie," my mom said and pushed me away from her a bit, her hands on my shoulders. "What's wrong?" She asked, worry in her eyes.
I couldn't answer her. She pulled me to her again and held my spasmodic body, rocking gently. She started to sing the lull-a-bye she always sung to me when I was little.
Why, Jake?
Why are you two doing this to me?
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
(Jake)
"Cassie's been acting kind of strange, do you have any clue of what might be wrong with her?" I asked Rachel.
"No, I don't. She hasn't been talking to me. I agree, she is acting strange." She answered.
"She's not talking to me either. This has gone on long enough. It's been almost two weeks now. I'm going to find out what's wrong, whether she wants to talk to me or not."
It broke my heart for Cassie not to be talking to me. She's just been secluded from everything, like she's in her own world. Her eyes were always red and hollow, like she wasn't there. Anytime I tried talking to her she just stared at me. Like she was looking past me. It scared me. I didn't know what it was.
I had to find out. I just had to.
"I'm going with you." Rachel said strongly.
I took a deep breath. Would it be okay for Rachel to come, or worse? "Okay. How about going there now?"
"That's what I was thinking."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"She's in her room. I hope she tells you two what's wrong, because she won't tell me. I'm worried for her." Cassie's mom said.
"We'll try." Rachel responded.
We went up to her room and entered. "Cassie" I started.
She looked up, her eyes red and wet with tears. She was lying on her bed, probably crying into her pillow.
"What's wrong?"
She just looked at me with that sad, hollow stare.
"Come on Cassie, you know you can tell me" I continued.
Silent tears fell from her eyes again. I noticed Rachel wasn't in the room.
I went to Cassie and sat down on her bed. I wrapped my arms around her, but she winced away from me.
My heart was being squeezed. "Cassie" I barely let out. I took a deep breath and blinked back the tears forming in my eyes. Don't loose it, Jake, I thought to myself. "Cassie what have I done" I stopped. I couldn't go on. It wasn't bearable.
She started to cry again and whispered something to me for the first time in two weeks: "Just leave me alone."
I walked out of her room, pausing in the doorway briefly. I prayed silently that she would get better. It was breaking my heart in pieces.
"So how did it go?" Rachel asked me.
I just looked at her.
"That bad, huh? Did you find out what's been bugging her?"
I shook my head. But it has something to do with me.
"Maybe I can get it out of her. You should go home and get some rest; you look awful."
I nodded my head and left.
Chapter 2
I went to bed early that night. I remembered Cassie's face, her words, her voice, and the hurt that had enveloped them all. Her beautiful gaze was enough to tell a thousand stories of sadness. I couldn't stand this. I wanted so very desperately to know what I had done to hurt her so deeply. It was driving me crazy, knowing I had done something to affect her so much. But what was it? I had no idea. Whatever it was I wished I could take it back. More than you'll even imagine. Her sorrow was beginning to capture me as well. Oh, God, why can't she see how much I loved her? A lump formed in my throat and my chest felt as if someone was sitting on it. It was too much. I let out a sigh and turned over in my bed. I fell asleep thinking to myself, What did I do?
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Briiiiiiiing. It came faintly at first.
Briiiiiiiing. Then louder as I roused.
Briiiiiiiing! Finally I could make sense of what was making the noise.
It was about to go onto its fourth ring when I had decided that no one was going to get it.
"Hello?" I asked groggily into the receiver.
"What? Is it too early to tell you what happened?" Rachel's voice said.
That got me awake. "No, what happened?"
"Well, I went in her room and asked her what was wrong. She said that you and I already knew and screamed for us to quit taunting her. Of course, her mom heard it and kicked me out. I may not be able to go to her house anymore until we find out what is up with Cassie and do something about it."
I sighed. "I will do anything to help her. I have to talk to her."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I spent the last couple weeks planning how I could talk to Cassie and gaining up my courage to actually see her depression that will hopefully end after I talk to her. I stood by her barn. Now was the time.
Cassie. She was in her barn tending to some animals, a look of sadness on her face.
I sighed. This was it. I walked in and to her. She purposely didn't look at me. I turned her around to face me and held her arms. She looked at the ground as I spoke. "Cassie. You have to tell me what is wrong. You say I know, but I don't. I have to know, Cassie. I can't go on knowing that you are upset about something that I don't know about. Especially if it's something I've done. What did I do? Please, Cassie, I have to know what is wrong."
"How can you go on acting like you don't know?" She asked with sadness in her voice, still not looking up.
"I'm not acting, Cassie. I truly don't know. I have to know."
"Why would you care?"
I sighed. "Because, Cassie," I lifted her chin so she would look at me. Now was the time. "I love you. You mean everything to me." Tears started to run down her beautiful face. "Everytime you're upset, I'm upset. Anytime you're happy, I'm happy. I feel what you feel. I can't live without you." My feelings for her were out. They were said. I wiped her tears with my right thumb. "I need to know."
"But you said" She started and paused.
"What did I say?"
She started over. "You're not just acting this?"
"No, Cassie," I looked into her tear-filled eyes so she'd know I'd meant it. "It's what I truly feel."
The tears flowed again. Only they weren't tears of sadness. She put her arms around me and hugged me tight and I hugged her back. She was hurting from something, but not anymore. "I love you too, Jake. More than you can imagine." She whispered to me.
I kissed her. She kissed me back. It was the most compassionate, sincere, and loving kiss.
"I remember now." She whispered after we ended the kiss, still in each other's arms. "It was just a dream. I don't know why it happened."
"A dream is something from the subconscious." I said. "Maybe there was some flicker of doubt in you. Maybe you just needed to hear it from me."
She looked up at me, "We'll just find out tonight, now won't we."
Epilogue
It was sweet. The way mom always anticipated coming home so she could be with dad. They both worked, but dad always came home earlier. And he would always take her up in his arms. Most kids would think it was gross the way their parents would still be infatuated with each other, but in a world where most parents are divorced, I think it was sweet. And after having me for 12 years, my 7-year-old brother and my 3-year-old sister, they still have an unending love for each other. It was just so sweet.
But, there was something they weren't telling us. Something that changed them a long time ago. And I was going to find out.
"Are you going to try it now, sissy?" Alicia asked me.
I looked down at her. "Yes. Today is the day we're going to find out." I took her hand in mine and we went to find out our parents' big secret…
@--- Chrissy
Prologue
(Cassie)
I was cleaning cages when the barn door opened. I looked at who had came in and smiled. "Hi, Jake."
His face was strait. "Hi, Cassie." There was no smile, just a plain, non-emotional face.
"What's wrong?" I asked him.
"It's about time for you to know the truth."
"What truth would that be?" I asked and my heart was hit with an unexpected punch.
His eyes became cold and hard. "I don't love you." He said with no emotion. "Further more, I never have."
"But..." I started, tears forming in my eyes. "What about... all the times..."
He smiled a cruel smile. "You'll be surprised at my acting abilities. Don't you see? It was all just part of the plan."
"What plan?" I asked, dreadfully.
He nodded to the doorway. And Rachel came from it.
"Not Rachel too," I moaned under my breath. Tears still flowing.
"The plan." She said simply. "To get back at you."
"To get back at me for what? What did I do?" I cried.
"You don't know?" She asked, like I should know. She laughed. "Cassie, think." She said to me like I was a little girl.
"I don't know," I replied, "Just tell me." I said, crying.
She looked at my anguished face and laughed. "For just being you. The things you did. The way you're acting towards this war. No one needs any softies in a war." She started.
"For your morals," Jake continued. "In a cold world like this, people with morals don't last long. They can't survive. And we're just trying to prove it to you. Now, you can let go of your morals and have a friend and boyfriend back, or you can just keep your morals and your best friend and boyfriend will no longer be yours."
"I'm sorry," I started and the tears started to flow faster. "But I can't let go of my morals. It..." I choked back a sob but not the tears. "My morals is what makes me who I am. If… if you two can't like me for who I am then… then you weren't really my friends in the first place."
"Okay, it was your decision." Rachel said and left.
"Yeah," Jake agreed. "We're not effected by it." And he left too.
I let the sobs out. The last thing I heard was the laughter of Jake and Rachel and Jake's voice, "Stupid girl. She actually believes people could like her for who she is."
Suddenly, it was dark and I was lying down on my bed. I got up shakily and found my way to the bathroom. I splashed cold water on my face and looked at myself in the mirror.
"How can I have a dream like that?" I asked myself. "I know that it's not true. It can't be."
But as I had the dream every night (with me waking up at different times), I started to believe that it really did happen. How else could I remember it so distinctly? It had to have really happened…
Chapter 1
The tears ran down my face. My heart was ripping apart. "How could-" I whispered to myself and choked. I sobbed. "But he"
The words replayed in my head "I've never loved you" "Don't you see? It was all a part of the plan" "She actually believes people could like her for who she is"
I wiped my tears and said strongly, "It can't be possible" but that just made me cry again. I heard the words from him I saw him with and she too.
I couldn't stand it anymore; I let out a deafening scream that wouldn't cease. I wanted it over. All of it over! Just make it be OVER!!!
"Cassie!" I heard faintly.
"Cassie!" I heard a little louder.
"Cassie!"
"Cassie!" Suddenly the voice was booming.
My eyes flew open and I hugged my mom and buried my face in her embrace. Tears started to flow. Eventually, my tears turned into full blown bawling.
"Cassie," my mom said and pushed me away from her a bit, her hands on my shoulders. "What's wrong?" She asked, worry in her eyes.
I couldn't answer her. She pulled me to her again and held my spasmodic body, rocking gently. She started to sing the lull-a-bye she always sung to me when I was little.
Why, Jake?
Why are you two doing this to me?
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
(Jake)
"Cassie's been acting kind of strange, do you have any clue of what might be wrong with her?" I asked Rachel.
"No, I don't. She hasn't been talking to me. I agree, she is acting strange." She answered.
"She's not talking to me either. This has gone on long enough. It's been almost two weeks now. I'm going to find out what's wrong, whether she wants to talk to me or not."
It broke my heart for Cassie not to be talking to me. She's just been secluded from everything, like she's in her own world. Her eyes were always red and hollow, like she wasn't there. Anytime I tried talking to her she just stared at me. Like she was looking past me. It scared me. I didn't know what it was.
I had to find out. I just had to.
"I'm going with you." Rachel said strongly.
I took a deep breath. Would it be okay for Rachel to come, or worse? "Okay. How about going there now?"
"That's what I was thinking."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"She's in her room. I hope she tells you two what's wrong, because she won't tell me. I'm worried for her." Cassie's mom said.
"We'll try." Rachel responded.
We went up to her room and entered. "Cassie" I started.
She looked up, her eyes red and wet with tears. She was lying on her bed, probably crying into her pillow.
"What's wrong?"
She just looked at me with that sad, hollow stare.
"Come on Cassie, you know you can tell me" I continued.
Silent tears fell from her eyes again. I noticed Rachel wasn't in the room.
I went to Cassie and sat down on her bed. I wrapped my arms around her, but she winced away from me.
My heart was being squeezed. "Cassie" I barely let out. I took a deep breath and blinked back the tears forming in my eyes. Don't loose it, Jake, I thought to myself. "Cassie what have I done" I stopped. I couldn't go on. It wasn't bearable.
She started to cry again and whispered something to me for the first time in two weeks: "Just leave me alone."
I walked out of her room, pausing in the doorway briefly. I prayed silently that she would get better. It was breaking my heart in pieces.
"So how did it go?" Rachel asked me.
I just looked at her.
"That bad, huh? Did you find out what's been bugging her?"
I shook my head. But it has something to do with me.
"Maybe I can get it out of her. You should go home and get some rest; you look awful."
I nodded my head and left.
Chapter 2
I went to bed early that night. I remembered Cassie's face, her words, her voice, and the hurt that had enveloped them all. Her beautiful gaze was enough to tell a thousand stories of sadness. I couldn't stand this. I wanted so very desperately to know what I had done to hurt her so deeply. It was driving me crazy, knowing I had done something to affect her so much. But what was it? I had no idea. Whatever it was I wished I could take it back. More than you'll even imagine. Her sorrow was beginning to capture me as well. Oh, God, why can't she see how much I loved her? A lump formed in my throat and my chest felt as if someone was sitting on it. It was too much. I let out a sigh and turned over in my bed. I fell asleep thinking to myself, What did I do?
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Briiiiiiiing. It came faintly at first.
Briiiiiiiing. Then louder as I roused.
Briiiiiiiing! Finally I could make sense of what was making the noise.
It was about to go onto its fourth ring when I had decided that no one was going to get it.
"Hello?" I asked groggily into the receiver.
"What? Is it too early to tell you what happened?" Rachel's voice said.
That got me awake. "No, what happened?"
"Well, I went in her room and asked her what was wrong. She said that you and I already knew and screamed for us to quit taunting her. Of course, her mom heard it and kicked me out. I may not be able to go to her house anymore until we find out what is up with Cassie and do something about it."
I sighed. "I will do anything to help her. I have to talk to her."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I spent the last couple weeks planning how I could talk to Cassie and gaining up my courage to actually see her depression that will hopefully end after I talk to her. I stood by her barn. Now was the time.
Cassie. She was in her barn tending to some animals, a look of sadness on her face.
I sighed. This was it. I walked in and to her. She purposely didn't look at me. I turned her around to face me and held her arms. She looked at the ground as I spoke. "Cassie. You have to tell me what is wrong. You say I know, but I don't. I have to know, Cassie. I can't go on knowing that you are upset about something that I don't know about. Especially if it's something I've done. What did I do? Please, Cassie, I have to know what is wrong."
"How can you go on acting like you don't know?" She asked with sadness in her voice, still not looking up.
"I'm not acting, Cassie. I truly don't know. I have to know."
"Why would you care?"
I sighed. "Because, Cassie," I lifted her chin so she would look at me. Now was the time. "I love you. You mean everything to me." Tears started to run down her beautiful face. "Everytime you're upset, I'm upset. Anytime you're happy, I'm happy. I feel what you feel. I can't live without you." My feelings for her were out. They were said. I wiped her tears with my right thumb. "I need to know."
"But you said" She started and paused.
"What did I say?"
She started over. "You're not just acting this?"
"No, Cassie," I looked into her tear-filled eyes so she'd know I'd meant it. "It's what I truly feel."
The tears flowed again. Only they weren't tears of sadness. She put her arms around me and hugged me tight and I hugged her back. She was hurting from something, but not anymore. "I love you too, Jake. More than you can imagine." She whispered to me.
I kissed her. She kissed me back. It was the most compassionate, sincere, and loving kiss.
"I remember now." She whispered after we ended the kiss, still in each other's arms. "It was just a dream. I don't know why it happened."
"A dream is something from the subconscious." I said. "Maybe there was some flicker of doubt in you. Maybe you just needed to hear it from me."
She looked up at me, "We'll just find out tonight, now won't we."
Epilogue
It was sweet. The way mom always anticipated coming home so she could be with dad. They both worked, but dad always came home earlier. And he would always take her up in his arms. Most kids would think it was gross the way their parents would still be infatuated with each other, but in a world where most parents are divorced, I think it was sweet. And after having me for 12 years, my 7-year-old brother and my 3-year-old sister, they still have an unending love for each other. It was just so sweet.
But, there was something they weren't telling us. Something that changed them a long time ago. And I was going to find out.
"Are you going to try it now, sissy?" Alicia asked me.
I looked down at her. "Yes. Today is the day we're going to find out." I took her hand in mine and we went to find out our parents' big secret…