Disclaimer: I don't own Mobile Suit Gundam Wing, and I'm making no profit off of this fic.
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The Three Beats Continue by luvsanime02
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Sometimes, Mariemaia dreams about running.
Nightmares, mostly. Not about the day she lost her war and gained a family, but silly ones, where she's running from a danger she can't see but knows will hurt her. Rarely, she'll have good dreams, ones where she's running on some beach or through a field, happy to feel her heart beating fast and to hear her breath coming out in loud puffs.
They always end the same, though. Mariemaia wakes up, and then she can't run at all.
I'll tell you what the truth is
When she was a little girl, Mariemaia told someone that the three beats of human history are war, peace, and revolution. While this may or may not be true, she has since learned that there are definitely three beats in her own personal life that repeat daily: denial, shame, and acceptance.
This private waltz begins the moment each of her days start. First, she wakes up, and for a second she always forgets no matter how much time has passed. For a moment, she is a normal young woman of twenty-two. This is her denial.
Then Mariemaia sees the wheelchair resting beside her bed, waiting for her, and the shame floods in. Not that she needs the wheelchair, or what it implies. Mariemaia is not ashamed of being paralyzed. She could never regret saving Miss Relena's life; not then, and certainly not now that she's known the woman for fifteen years and loves her as an older sister.
No, the shame comes from remembering that she was once so naïve that she attempted to lead people to war, people who could have died, and she hadn't even known their names. She's ashamed to remind herself that she was once nothing but a little puppet, controlled by those around her, and that she hadn't even known how powerless she was.
Before you die
After the first minute, though, Mariemaia tells herself that she is no longer alone. That she has a mother who loves her, and friends who will always stand by her side. She knows that she has made mistakes, but she has also survived them, and strives every morning to be a stronger person than she was the night before. And if she cannot always win that battle, she can still try again the next time.
Mariemaia dreams of running, but in reality she never ran around much as a child. She never once appreciated the legs that carried her everywhere, that supported her drive and her ambitions. She appreciates her chair, though, because she has to push it herself in order to get anywhere.
To go places like up the ramp that was built especially for her. Mariemaia pumps her arms in the familiar repetitious motions and moves swiftly up onto the platform. Waiting patiently, her mother smiles at her softly, and out beyond them is an audience waiting to hear Mariemaia's first public speech since she declared war on the entire earth sphere fifteen years ago.
The public is always expected
Mariemaia ignores the podium and instead wheels closer to the audience, in full view, and accepts the microphone handed to her by a proud Chang Wufei. Taking one last second to gather her thoughts together, she takes a deep breath and begins a new song, with three new beats: hope, courage, and strength.
This will be her new war, and this time, Mariemaia will win.
"Everyone, thank you for coming today. I am pleased to announce my acceptance of the position as the new Head of Preventers…"
To obey the victor