Harry chuckled quietly as his footsteps echoed softly through the silent dungeon corridor. He drew his long, sweeping robes tighter around his temporary body as the chill sunk into his skin. This was his best idea ever! He had Polyjuiced himself into Snape and was heading to the Professors' private quarters. Peeves was currently keeping the real Severus Snape busy by annoying him on the fifth floor. All Harry had to do to get Peeves to agree to distract Snape for a few hours was promise to teach him how to play paint ball. Peeves had to agree not to get him or his friends with it though.
Passing some Slytherins, Harry tried his best to project the air of arrogant confidence that was Professor Snape's personality. Thankfully, they bought it. Harry didn't run into anyone else as he proceeded to Snape's quarters. Pulling out the knife Sirius gave to him for Christmas, Harry slid it down the gap between the door and its frame. The door clicked open and a menacing smile spread across Harry's face, making him look more like Snape than he actually had since taking the potion.
As Harry entered the surprisingly cozy three-roomed flat, he ran through his list of things to do. iOkay, I have to: turn all Snape's robes pink, put itchy powder in his bed and underwear, smear owl pellets on his pillow, and make his shower rain shampoo./i He decided to do the shower first, seeing as the door was slightly ajar. Heading to the door though, he had to stop. It was running.
Panicking, Harry pulled the Marauders map out of his pocket. Snape was still on the fifth floor, so who was in the shower?
Harry started backing away from the door to the bathroom. As he did so, he hit his leg on the corner of the bed. It caused a thud to ring through the room.
"Hun, is that you?" came a female voice from the bathroom.
Harry's temporarily dark eyes widened. Snape has a girlfriend? What was he to do? He had to answer. "Yeah…Hun."
The woman giggled. "You calling me Hun now? I like my old nickname. What was it again, oh yeah, Sexy Ass, Spankalishes, something like that. Did you get Spankalishes from America when we stayed there? I never expected a British man say derivative of spank and delicious."
"Sorry, Sexy." Harry felt extremely uncomfortable saying that to a girl that was currently naked and had obviously slept with his sadistic potions professor.
"Oh, you're not off that easily, I'll punish you later. My nickname will probably be God by the end of it. Anyway, yes I know I'm home early but my line of clothing was a big hit in Rome and there was no need to promote it any more than it already was. How amazing is that? And that best part is that I get to come home three months early. Did you miss me?"
"O…of course, God," Harry said uncertainly. He would rather call her God than sexy ass but he wasn't sure if Snape would admit if he missed her or not.
The girl giggled again and he heard her turn off the shower and open the shower door. "Is there something wrong, Professor Sevvy?" Her voice didn't hold worry; it held a question and something devilish. He also had a feeling that she threw the professor part in as a tease.
"No, why?"
"Well, I was standing in the shower naked for about five minutes with you in the other room, and I am now standing in here naked…and dripping wet…and cold, and you're still out there and not in here with me, helping me dry off." Her voice was smoky and seductive. "And probably making it so that I need another shower."
"Oh, um, I have something on my mind," Harry said, hoping it was believable as he took a swig of Polyjuice. If she walked out of the bathroom and saw him transform, he was in trouble. He had a feeling Snape would go for the girl that could handle a wand. Both meanings of the word apparantly.
The bathroom door opened and Harry gasped. Walking out was a curvy blonde in a silk, sky blue slip. Her blue eyes scanned Harry hungrily, believing Harry to be her boyfriend Snape. As she walked towards him with a tempting stride, Harry's legs gave way and he sat down on the edge of the bed. The woman slid her hands across his shoulders, leaned towards him and whispered in his ear, "I missed you." Her lips brushed his ear lobe as she spoke and Harry felt his eyelids droop for a moment. The blonde slid onto his lap, sitting sideways and putting her feet up on the bed, making her undergarment slide down slightly. "I mainly missed just laying with you." She grabbed the hand that was slowly inching towards her bare legs against Harry's will. "And I missed saying 'I love you' and hearing you say it back."
Harry tried not to look at the woman's long legs as she pushed back the collar of his robes a bit so she could kiss his neck and collarbone. He had to get out of there. If he did something un-Snape like, then she'd mention it to the real Snape later, he, Harry would be in grave trouble. Also, if he didn't get out, then she might want something he wasn't willing to give that Snape would.
"I… I have a detention with one of my students, I've got to go." Harry politely pushed Snape's girlfriend off his lap, stopping her from kissing his neck anymore. He shot her an apologetic look before getting up and heading out of the bedroom/flat.
"Okay," the woman said somewhat sadly, laying back on the bed and watching him go.
Once he was out of the room and had closed the door, he bolted down the hallway. His footsteps reverberated off the cold stone as he went and a stitch was starting to appear in his side by the time he had reached the Entrance Hall. The Polyjuice wore off as he reached the third floor, out of breath and panting raggedly. Quickly, he transfigured his long, black robes back into school robes, just as a dark figure walked around the corner and up to Harry.
"Potter!" Someone snarled from behind him.
Turning, Harry saw the real Snape not that far down the hall from him. "Professor Snape."
"What are you doing? It's almost past curfew."
Looking at Snape, Harry couldn't see him as scary anymore. All he could think was, ihe nicknamed his girlfriend Sexy Ass, and his affectionate to her. He's not bad to everyone. Just some./i "Sorry, Professor, I was just heading up to Gryffindor Tower now. Goodnight."
"Goodnight, Potter, now hurry up, I have a detention to dish out before retiring for the night."
iWhat luck!/i
This story contains an OOC Snape, a Harry with an idea and a shock!