M for language and small sexual content.

For the third time this week, james wakes up in a cold sweat, heart thumping, pulse racing, his mind unable to banish the images that his dreams had configured.

And damn it all to hell, as much as he shouldn't want those images floating around, he doesn't have the willpower to really try to drive them away.

"James, you're going to be late," Fred calls from outside the curtains that surround his bed. "You know that Neville will literally kill you if you're late one more time."

And he thinks that a death like that would be better than living with this secret, this desire that is burning him up inside.

He supposes it begins when Al and Rose started Hogwarts. They had always been extremely close as children, and James couldn't really imagine a world where they had other friends.

But "Potter, Albus" was suddenly wearing robes adorned in green and silver and talking to "Malfoy, Scorpius," and "Weasley, Rose" makes her father proud and becomes a lion.

James wasn't aware how much these series of events were going to affect his future. But hey, palm reading and crystal balls were never his thing.

Matriarchal Molly Weasley loves her giant family and loves having them all together. She has a keen sense of character, however, and every guest that is invited to her home is quickly put to her test.

Scorpius Malfoy is no exception when Al invites him to the Burrow for Christmas during their first year. Twelve year old James looks on in amusement as Scorpius, his face full of fear and self-doubt, is quickly put to ease as Molly converses with him for a moment before sending him on his way to play Quidditch with the rest of the brood.

James knows Malfoy has gained his grandmother's approval (and in turn the rest of the family's) and he's on his way to follow Malfoy out to the garden when an unfamiliar face enters his vision.

Tiny is the first thing he thinks when his gaze falls upon her. She's short and skinny and completely shadowed by tall, gangly Rose, who he realizes with a jolt, must have been making friends 'cause Albus wasn't around that much anymore and how on earth had he not noticed her before?

The wisp of a girl follows loud, talkative Rose into the kitchen that James had so recently vacated, pushing her long dark hair back from her pale face, but never once betraying a hint of nervousness. James can't help but watch as Rose introduces the girl to Molly, but he's too far away to hear the conversation.

Apparently, Molly is as accepting of this new face as she was of Albus's friend, for after a moment and a smile she sends the both of them on their way. James shakes his head and concentrates on going out and kicking some ass in Quidditch.

Rosalynn and Rose how funny is that? Two girls drawn together that have grown up being called the same thing. Rose is chatting to her dad and James's dar, telling them of how they met and were instafriends and that Rose is no longer short for Rosalynn but Lynn is.

James listens to the talk for a moment before wondering where Lynn (LynnRosalynnRose?) has headed off to. His musings lead him to the edge of the garden, where that tiny girl is seated on the fence and staring off into the endless night.

He's not quite sure what to say, but she turns around and hops off the fence to return to his large family so in the end he doesn't have to say anything. And her sapphire eyes meet his and she smiles at him, just a little bit, but just enough that even twelve year old James can realize he's fucked.

Fred had been exaggerating slightly when he had said that James was going to be late, because James found himself seated at the Gryffindor table next to Sam Longbottom, with a plate of bacon in front of him and plenty of time to spare before Herbology started.

A familiar laugh cuts short his conversation with Fred as he turns to the entrance of the Great Hall to find the face he wanted to see. Fred (a thankfully very unobservant person) continues chatting with Sam while James watches as Lynn gracefully moves to the Slytherin table with Rose and Scorpius (hands intertwined) beside her. She takes a seat next to his little brother and reaches for a bit of toast and marmalade.

"Hey mate," Fred directs at James, his eyebrows furrowed. "What are you looking at?

No matter how hard he tried, after that night in the garden at the Burrow, James couldn't get her out of his head. Her being in Gryffindor and best friends with his cousin didn't help matters as he saw her at every meal and in between classes in the common room and all he can think when she's around is RosalynnRosalynnRosalynn.

And it's not until the suimmer before his last year at Hogwarts begins that he has a proper conversation with her. By this point, Al and Rose have drifted apart and don't have those summertime sleepovers like they used to before they started school. However, nostalgia must have wormed its way into Albus and Rose's hearts and suddenly Ginny is telling James that Rose is spending the night and can he please not act like a five year old when she's here?

But then fate steps in and suddenly Ginny has returned to his room to inform him that Al invited Scorpius over because Rosie's friend is suddenly with her and she's coming too so will he please be mature because it's going to be harder now with four sixteen year old's under the roof?

James rolls his eyes and promises. Ginny leaves, unaware that her son's blasé exterior is just barely masking the turmoil that is squeezing hius insides but it's the kind of turmoil that he thinks he wouldn't mind living with.

He stays in his room until he can hear previously missing voices join those of his parents and brother downstairs. His internal debate on whether or not to go downstairs rages for several minutes before he reminds himself that he's never like this around other girls and for fuck's sake he's a Gryffindor and god damn it his name is JamesSiriusPotter.

And he's down the stairs in record time before bounding into the sitting room to survey the scene of Rosie and Lynn (Rosalynn) sitting on the couch and Al and Scorpius taking up the floor, both groups looking uncomfortable with the think silence and the almost tangible tension.

James gets lost for a moment in the sight of her before realizing that that the awkwardness of this situation is rather annoying and so he's suddenly rousing the four of them for an adventure outside. This leads to a (sort of) game of Quidditch with weird rules that involve singing and somersaults and suddenly it's ten at night and Ginny is calling that she's going to bed and if they want some stone cold dinner it's on the table but their stomachs hurt from so much laughter that James isn't sure they could eat anything and keep it down.

And they return to the sitting room once more and the awkward silence has left and the four of them are right old pals. Rosie is arguing good-naturedly with Scorpius over a bit of room on the couch and Albus is being regaled by Lynn's stores of growing up Muggle and James realizes that the only thing out of place here is him. These four have found each other tonight and it doesn't matter that he's the one who did it because he wasn't lost to begin with.

So he slips away, feeling sorrier for himself than he ever has before and he's so wrapped up in his self-pity that he doesn't notcie a pair of sapphire eyes following his departure.

It takes James a long time to fall asleep that night, as he toss and turns and thinking about how she's just down the hall in Lily's room with Rose (a rather heavy sleeper might he add) and when he finally falls asleep, it's the first time he's plagued by those oh-so lifelike dreams. Dreams of her hair and taste and touch and eyes and-

That's when his conscience wakes his body up because somewhere he knows that this is wrong. She's Rose's (and Albus's and Scorpius's) friend and he can't even talk to her, and she's too nice and sweet for a trouble-making, swearing, loudmouth someone like him. But then he thinks about how tiny she is and how easy it would be to hold her close and never let go and-

And that's when he decides he needs some water. And maybe a hammer to the head.

The house is dark and he can hear the breathing coming from his parents' room and then he passes Lily's room and slows down for a second as he passes (and so what if he physically stoips moving and just stands there for a few clicks of the minute hand and so what?) and then he's downstairs reaching for a glass to fill when he hears a creak on the stairs.

And he's not sure why but something inside alerts him to the fact that it's her and not Rose or Albus or Dad or any other person coming down the stairs but her.

She's wearing these baggy white sweats with UCLA in pale blue lettering running down one leg and a tank top that isn't really doing its job at the moment. Her midnight hair is pulled into a messy knot but her eyes are bright and widen just a little when they catch sight of him lounging at the counter.

"Oh," she murmurs, and James's heart breaks for just a moment because he thinks her tone is full of disappointment but then she smiles that small little smile and his heart thumps to let him know its still going strong.

"I was just going to get some water," Lynn says quietly but before she can move to take a glass James is already reaching in the cupboard and filling the cup.

"Thanks," she says, taking the cup and to his great surprise sitting next to him. "And not just for the water."

James is surprised and Lynn must notice his confusion because she clarifies. "Rose has always been sad that she and Albus drifted apart, and it made me sad too." James resists the urge to wrap her in his arms at the mention of her being sad (no matter how much he wants to) but she continues in that quiet, musical voice. "And I was never quite sure how to bring them back together. But you did." And then she's gazing up into his eyes and that smile reappears on her face. "So thank you."

James is at a loss for words for a split second, before launching into a question that he's always wanted the answer to.

"Were you ok with Rose just taking your name?"

Lynn's (Rosalynn) expression becomes contemplative for a moment and then she shrugs and her moving shoulders cause a shift in that damn tank top's material and James is forced to concentrate goddamnit on her response and not on that small strip of pale skin that has appeared between her top and sweats.

"Yeah, I was. I mean I was usually called Rose or Rosalynn, but the whole new experience with magic and going to Hogwarts...I don't know. It just felt right to be called something new." She grins widely at this, and James thinks he's never seen anything so lovely. "Trust me, it was a crazy kind of new experience to learn that I was going to use a wand and do magic."

And before he knows it, they've spent two hours talking. He knows that she's undecided about her future and her family wasn't really the best you could hope for and she knows that he sometimes feels lost in his giant family and how he feels like he has to live up to unattainable expectations, because it's not just Potter but it's James and Sirius too.

But Lynn is there to soothe his worries and when the clock ticks 4:30 she bids him goodnight (morning added with a laugh as an afterthought) and creeps back up the stairs, this time making no noise.

James remains at the table, reflecting on his thought about how the two of them couldn't mix. Her perfection couldn't blend with his imperfection. But it took only a two hour conversation for him to realize that yeah, maybe she wasn't as perfect as he thought. She hates Herbology and procrastinates on assignments and doesn't understand the point of pumpkin juice (one of his favorite beverages) but these imperfections make her so much more perfect (and who gives a damn if that's an oxymoron). Because if she's flawed maybe she can see that someone as flawed as him might just be what she needs.

"Nothing," James finally answers Fred and tears his gaze away from the Slytherin table. Lynn is listening to Albus and Rose's conversation while calmly eating and James thinks that maybe (just maybe) he has a chance. They've talked a lot more ever since that midnight conversation and every time he makes her smile his heart skips a beat.

James gets up from the table leaving a surprised Fred and Sam (they usually have to tear him away from the food to get him to class) and leaves the Great Hall, his head full of sapphires and small smiles. And he hasn't gotten that far away from the Great Hall when a hand gently taps him on the back of his shoulder.

"Hey, James? Could I talk to you?"

And he thinks that's got to be one of the dumbest questions ever asked because she should never have to ask if she could talk to him. She could talk to him all she wanted and then some.

"Sure."

James lets Lynn lead the way back up to the Gryffindor common room and suddenly their standing rather close and she's biting her lip and he can read the nervousness in her face. This is surprising; he's never seen her afraid of anything. James feels like he's reverted back to a year or so ago when he couldn't say anything to her because he can't find any words to say at this moment.

"James, I know this is going to sound crazy and...probably stupid but," and there is just a slight pause before, "But I really like you." The words trip and stumble as they are forced out and her glittering eyes are looking for anything but his face and she continues, "And this is normally not what I do but the year is getting closer to the end and I'm just afraid if I don't say something then nothing could happen even though I want it to and-"

And James wants to laugh because the one time that Lynn isn't quiet and reserved is the one time he really wants her to just not talk for a moment. So he finds his Gryffindor courage at last and swoops down to capture her lips with his, never feeling so at home.

They end up in his bed, the dormitory mercifully empty. He frees her from her shirt and skirt and her delicate hands work to loosen his tie. And it hits him that sweet, gentle little Rosalynn is in bed with him and being anything but sweet and gentle as she bites on a particularly sensitive spot of skin on his neck.

And when they become one, between the moans and soft sighs, it's Rosalynn that falls from his lips, whispered like a prayer.

Of course they miss all their classes and they know there will be hell to pay when everyone finds out where they've been. But that doesn't matter in this moment because she's curled up next to him, sound asleep, and he's tracing patterns over her lovely skin.

And so yeah, maybe he's had one too many detentions and she's secretly afraid to draw too much attention to themselves, but they can be flawed together and that is just absolutely perfect.