I know there must have been a flurry of FFs about that moment after the L.A. episode aired (3x22) and I'm sorry this is just another one of those, but I thought I'd post it just the same.
Story set right during the hotel room scene, some light smutt.
"Kate?"
"Good night Castle."
She closed the door behind her and rested her back against it, burying her face in her hands.
She had fled… again. And as she closed her eyes, all she could see was his face, moments ago, his deep blue eyes looking back at her with all the love and devotion she knew he felt for her. Those eyes that looked back at her hopefully, pleadingly, silently asking her to take that first step, to give him a sign that it was okay. And she'd fled.
She looked at the doorknob next to her. A turn of that knob could change everything. That thought alone terrified her. A ridiculous doorknob terrified her.
Was this it? Was this the right moment? Their moment?
There they were, on the other side of the country, sharing a hotel room. The man had flown out to be with her, to support her in this crazy endeavor of hers. Because that's what he did, he supported her, no matter what. He was always there for her. Always…
She hesitantly brought her hand to the knob.
All she had to do was turn it, the rest would all fall into place. Just… Turn it.
Which she did.
She pushed the door, half expecting-and in truth, hoping-that he wouldn't be there anymore.
But he was. He stood in the middle of the room, looking at her with those same loving eyes that reassured and terrified her at the same time.
Holding on to the doorknob as though it was her lifeline, she stared back at him in silence, completely at a loss.
She'd hoped he'd have talked first but he didn't.
They looked at each other a moment, as they often did. Their eyes told more than words ever could between them. And this time she was telling him she wouldn't back down anymore, she wouldn't run. And this time he was telling her he wouldn't let her go, he wouldn't let her run.
She opened and closed her mouth a few times, thinking of something to say and for some reason his name came up in her mind.
"I…" her voice was shaking and she hated it "I broke up with Josh" she explained.
He didn't look surprised.
"I'm sorry."
She simply nodded in reply, biting her bottom lip and looking away from him for the first time, words and thoughts definitely escaping her.
"Did something happen?"
His voice brought her back to him.
"Yeah" she replied, looking back up.
He was obviously expecting more than that and again, wordlessly, only with his eyes, he managed to let her know he was listening, if she was willing to share.
"I realized he wasn't what I wanted."
She forced herself to hold his gaze although deep down a little voice was telling her to run.
She could feel her eyes getting dangerously watery, the emotions of the past twenty-four hours rising up to the surface.
She was scared. Scared of letting her guard down, of getting hurt.
She gave a quick glance over at the front door, almost expecting some woman to waltz in and steal him from her.
He had shattered her confidence once, unknowingly hurt her deeper than any man had before. It had taken her months to grieve, heal and grow stronger. And now here she was, putting herself in that position again, opening herself up, making herself vulnerable to the pain he could cause her. She wanted to believe this time he wouldn't hurt her.
When she looked back at him, she saw he hadn't moved, his blue eyes still firmly set on hers. Scrutinizing her, reassuring her and waiting for her, for her words.
She was so tired. Tired of the games, the lies, the false pretenses.
So she looked him right in the eyes through the blurriness of her unshed tears.
"Do you love me Castle?"
"Oh Kate…"
Castle took the few steps separating them and, putting his hands around her face, he crashed his mouth against hers.
Kate's senses went into overdrive when she felt his lips against hers for the second time. She hadn't realized just how much she craved for his kiss until that very moment.
Tentative at first, their kiss quickly grew more passionate. Tongues explored and dueled without restraint. Hands latched on to clothes, drawing each other closer, yearning to feel the other's skin under the fabrics.
Gone were the doubts, the hesitations, the 'what ifs'.
This was their moment and they took it.
Kate's hand made quick work of the buttons on the writer's shirt. When he felt the fabric being pushed off his shoulders, he grabbed the rim of Kate's long tunic and lifted it above her head and off her back, leaving her in the bra she still wore. Not be outdone, she almost immediately pulled off the writer's shirt as well.
A hand on his chest, the other in his hair, Kate reclaimed his mouth and pushed them backwards towards his appointed bedroom.
As they reached the double door, her hands were pulling his belt off and throwing it on the floor.
His own fingers explored the skin he discovered for the first time, tracing the lines of her body, over her collarbone and along the curves of her breasts.
He felt her body shiver under his touch and heard her muffled moan as he brushed over her left breast.
Once they were near the bed, Castle wrapped his strong arms around his partner's hips and spun them around.
Kate let out a small yelp of surprise and for the first time they took a moment to actually look at each other.
Their blue and green eyes had turned an unmistakable shade of dark. Gone were the loving looks, replaced by utter lust. There was a craving that animated them. Their bodies free at last to give in to the desire they had both pushed back for so long. Months of built-up frustration had led to this moment.
Castle was the first to reclaim her mouth and as his hands traveled down her bare back, he pushed her down, accompanying her and laying her on the bed.
His mouth left a trail of kisses down her burning skin until it reached her hips. He curled his fingers around the rim of her pants, clutching her underwear along the way. A look up at the woman who was observing him with dilated pupils gave him permission to pull everything off.
Back on his feet, he took the opportunity to slide his own pants down his legs before stretching himself on top of the detective.
Their mouths met again. Their hands explored and caressed, alternating between feather-light touches and fingers dug deep into the skin. Lips and tongues tasted the other's skin, teeth sometimes nipped, assuring to leave a mark the next day.
As two lovers do, they explored the depth of their passion well into the night, until their bodies, satiated, demanded a rest.
He laid down on his back, she rested her head on his shoulder. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders, she wrapped one over his waist. He kissed her on the head, she kissed him on the chest and they closed their eyes.
The first thing Kate noted when she woke up the next morning was that he had never answered her question.
She turned around to watch the man she had spent the night loving, sleep peacefully. She bit her lips, threading her fingers through her hair.
Her mind assaulted with doubts, fears and apprehension, she got up and padded quickly over to her room, grabbing and putting on her tunic along the way.
When she reached her room, she closed the door and, as she had done the night before, leaned against it and buried her face in her hands.
He hadn't answered her.
In order to overcome anxiety, some people eat chocolate, others smoke or drink. Kate Beckett picked up the phone and asked the concierge to find her a white board.