Token is leaving tomorrow...
It's the only thing I can think about, even at a moment like this. Were upstairs in one of the many guest rooms in his mansion - i'm shamelessly spreading my legs for him for what's going to be the last time.
"Clyde." He rasps out my name and it makes me tremble underneath him. Token is needy in bed, he holds me too tightly, kisses me too much, and calls out my name a lot. I love it and am only just now finding this out.
I'm not a virgin, haven't been since my second year of high school. I lost it to Kenny McCormick only because I really wanted to have sex and he was so willing to take it. He promised he'd be very gentle and it would be worth it. And he was right. Kenny was a whore so he absolutely knew what he was doing. When I went to school the next day I was limping like crazy from the pain in my backside. Craig and Token noticed immediately and understood why, Tweek thought I was dying. I wanted to keep the who part a secret but... Kenny walked passed me in the hall and smirked my way, turning his head as he continued to his locker. Craig was unfazed, trying to calm down a frantic Tweek and Token was already gone, heading to class. It's not until now why I realized he did that.
"Ah!" I gasped out the breath I was holding back. Token was pounding into me relentlessly - his hand was holding the back of my neck, our foreheads were pressed together as he forced me to stare into his eyes. It was embarrassing and intimate and tears threatened to fall down my cheeks.
I'm such a crybaby...
And I've been a crybaby as long as I could remember. I cry, or for lack of a better word, I sob like a little girl. Everybody told me so. Everyone but Token. He always had my back when they bullied me for it. He even stood up to Craig for me. Craig was Token's best friend but when it came to me he would knock the guy down off his high horse. ...I can't believe I never understood why...
I was finally able to close my eyes but that was due to Token kissing me deeply again. His lips are so big and full and hot. I'm surprised i'm able to even kiss back - Token is the most amazing kisser I've ever had the privileged of making out with. I shouldn't call this making out though... This is something more and something that shouldn't be taken lightly. Token's kisses are passionate and real and I haven't ever been kissed like this before. His tongue and the taste of him are taking over my senses and making my thoughts fill with nothing but of him.
And the way he's holding me like this, so tightly and with his huge warm hands. Hes holding me as if I were something precious to him.
"Clyde." He moans out when our lips part and my tears have finally found their way down my cheeks. My hips ache because Token is so deep inside of me and with every thrust he drives into me I know we're nearing our end. It's something I never wanted to happen tonight but somehow it crept up on me so quickly that I hadn't seen it coming. My chest hurts too - of course that's for a different reason entirely.
Token is mumbling curses under his breath because he knows the end is coming as well. He stills his movements momentarily and that gives me the opportunity to catch my breathe. It's a hard thing to do as i'm panting so heavily that I fear he's literally taken my breath away. Maybe he's going to take it with him when he goes...
"I don't want this to end, but-," Token is panting heavily too - his voice is deep and gravely and it sends chills down my spin. I like it, I like it a lot and I wish he'd say something else in that voice. And he does and it only makes me want to cry harder, but I keep those tears in the best I can because his words are so amazing that crying would ruin the moment. "-but I'm falling apart and it's your fault." And I know that was meant to be lighthearted and funny but I take it another way.
"Token, please." It's all I can say as there's a lump in my throat and it comes out pleadingly.
He stares at me a moment before he raises up, spreading my legs a little wider as his knees slide under my thighs. His hands take hold of my waist and he grips them tightly. I want to make a joke about how there's more cushion for his pushin' because I know I have some chubby places on my body and my waist is number one - but I keep it to myself when he starts pulling my waist down and slamming his hips up simultaneously.
He's going faster this time since we're both so close and i'm a little bit glad, it feels so good. I grip myself and start stroking as fast as my hand can move. Token won't last much longer, I know because I can feel him pulsing inside of me. His movements are incredibly fast and inhuman even the expensive bed we're on is starting to creak.
Before I know it Token is grabbing me by the back of my neck again, putting me in the previous position as he starts gazing in my eyes as he groans out, emptying himself inside of me - grunting and giving simple thrusts with each spill. He's saying my name over and over again. I come too but my voice is a broken whimper and I sound so pathetic that a few tears fall.
Token doesn't pull out of me when we both come down from our high of euphoria. I can feel his body become heavier against mine and I can tell he's about to fall right to sleep. I know because when he and Wendy were a couple she would always complain about him falling asleep right after they had sex.
He doesn't say anything he just lays his head down on my chest and wraps his arms around my body. He goes back to holding me again and I don't care anymore. He may kiss too much, but I like it. He may hold me too tightly, but I like that too. And I love how he says my name so much. I put my hands around Token's back and slide my fingers over his skin.
Again, I remember that Token is leaving tomorrow...
I don't have to worry about my tears threatening to fall because they already are and i'm once again reduced to nothing but a pitiful puddle of sorrow. This isn't fair... Something like this shouldn't ever happen to anyone and maybe i'm being selfish but this shouldn't happen to me most of all. And i'm feeling more down now because I actually thought that.
I look over at the clock and it's already early in the a.m. I'm now enraged by the suns existence. Once the sun rises reality will come true to that knowing fact that settles in my stomach and gnaws at my insides. More so, claws at my heart.
I'm in love with Token. So in love that it makes me want to emit it from my whole body. And this is why he wanted me to stay at his house and have a night alone together - instead of having a group going away party with Tweek and Craig. It's because Token is in love with me as well. He wanted to show me how much and how badly this was killing him. And I feel it. I feel every single malevolent sense. It's killing me... It's tearing me apart.
Why couldn't we have just been together and be happy in the first place? Why did things have to end up like this instead? Why did Token take so long to confess to me? And why like this? On the very last day... The very last time...
I'm gripping Token's skin tightly and my face is pressed against his shoulder, i'm sobbing and i'm gasping and hiccuping in between them. I don't want to let him go, I can't let him go. But the sun peeks in through the curtains and Token starts to stir.
"Stay with me." I sob out and my voice breaks as does the battered remains of my heart.