Power Of Pain
Summary: Squall has a little breakdown and starts destroying himself. Will his friends be able to save him before he self destructs?
Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy or Square Enix, at least in the real world.
Feedback: Please R&R.
Warnings: Drug use. Alcohol use. More and more.
Pairings: You'll see.
Chapter One
It's been about a year now after the fight with Sorceress Ultimecia and time compression. Squall and the group graduated and now he was head of Balamb Garden. The others were now instructors, even Seifer who was let in and was a teacher now. Big fucking shock to say the least. The gang seemed to pull apart somewhat, they mostly went out when Squall was busy so he was left out a lot. He didn't care though. He never cared about being alone, no that was a lie. Squall was alone, sad, feeling unloved and let down. Laguna would always invite him to Esthar, but once his son got there he was always 'busy' so Squall usually just went back to Balamb. Back to work, back to the isolation. He tried, oh Hyne how he tried to be the perfect friend, but they always brushed him off now, after he opened up somewhat.
"Just a spit in the fucking face." Squall said to himself. He rubbed his temples as he sat in his dorm room, his head aching again. His medication didn't seem to be working anymore, the headaches kept coming more frequently now. 'All because those stupid cunts around me. I can't stand them always looking, pointing and snickering at me! So I don't want to be around people all the fucking time. Cid doesn't understand, the dumb asshole. None of them does. I should kill them. I should just blow up this fucking God damn town and get rid of them all.' He thought.
He stood up and took a bottle of Jimmy Bean from the cabinet. Ripping the cap off he guzzled the liquor down, on top of many of his pain pills. It was Friday night and everyone was out, everyone but him. He was going to come along but they told him he didn't need to go. 'They don't want me around. I wonder what all that shit was about ''being friends'' or ''friends need to rely on each other''. All those bullshit lines they used on me during that damn war with that bitch Ultimecia. I was use to being by myself before, but after they starting the slip under my skin, into my very fucking soul I can't stand it.'
Squall staggered, his steps becoming uneven and sloppy. Groaning he laid down on his bed and slug down a few muscle relaxants, mixing them with the alcohol and pain pills. 'I wonder what Selphie is doing?' His mind slurred. 'She stayed in tonight. At least she still seemed to want me around. Somewhat.' He thought and got up. "Hyne. Why do I bother with it all?" Squall sighed and fell backwards again, feeling the cocktail of medication and liquor working on him. He slipped into unconscious and all he could dream was of his own death.
Sunshine lit the room and Squall groaned, his head exploding in pain. His hangover made him grimace and he closed the drapes with a growl. There was a knock on his door and he really didn't feel like answering it. It continued and he went by the door. "What!" He yelled.
"Whoa Puberty Boy! Have your period or something?" It was Seifer and Squall groaned.
"Leave me alone you piece of fucking shit!" Squall yelled through the door and the blonde's green eyes went large.
"What the hell! Since when do you talk like that to me!" Seifer said and Zell came up.
"What's going on?" He asked and Seifer scoffed.
"Puberty Boy has a tampon up his ass." He said and Zell shrugged.
"Squall? Open the door." Zell said and Squall rubbed his head again. 'It's Saturday, no classes so many of the students are gone right now. How convenient.' He thought and went back to bed. 'They just want to use you as entertainment. Like Kiros and Ward does with Laguna. But Laguna is a moron, a klutz and a bastard.'
"Squall!" Zell yelled.
"SHUT UP!" Squall screamed and they all went still. The two blondes left his door and walked away.
"What is up with him? He never yells." Zell said and Seifer shrugged.
"I don't know." Selphie, Quistis, Rinoa and Irvine walked up to them.
"Did someone just scream a second ago?" Irvine asked.
"Yeah. Squall is REALLY pissy today." Zell said.
"Probably needs a good lay." Irvine joked and Selphie glared.
"I can't believe you guys! He's suppose to be your friends. What happened to that?" She asked.
"Oh come on sunshine girl. He just has a pole up his ass. He's always had one and will continue to ride it all his life. Why? Because he's an idiot. Not worth any of us." Seifer said and slap quieted him. Selphie walked away and he blinked in surprise.
Squall heard it all. He laid in bed, crying into his blankets to muffle the sound. 'I don't even matter.' He thought. 'I need to end this pain, just for a little bit.' He took out a blade from his night stand and rolled up his pant leg. Slicing furiously and hard at his leg, blood dripping down it. Old scars were covered with fresh reminders of why he would never be loved.
TBC