a CHRISTMAS cookie clicker fanfiction
grandma x cursor x santa
twas the night before pimpmas and all trhough the house
not a creature was stirring, except for grandma, who was stirring together her dough for her anal chrismas cookies. she made sure not to forget the weed for her dearly beloved. yes, it was old saint nick himself. she was ready to get some cookie coated dick tonight. 834 years old and still rockin it, yeeee HAW. she also remindered herself to not forget the viagra. last time she did, well, mr santa couldnt simply get his dick up. she had to fuck a limp dick. although it wasnt much of a challenge, since his dick is so big anyway. even flaccid. grandma has skills
what the fuck is viagra anwyaway? oh ym gfiod i dont actually know i think its a pill that old men take to feel young again.
Viagra (vaɪˈæɡrə; viː-)
n
1. (Pharmacology) a drug, sildenafil, that allows increased blood flow into the penis; used to let old guys have sex
-universary of harvard
grandma's nips were already "rock solid" (-malphite, league of leegens) just from thinking about her hot sexual encounters with foxy grandpa in the past. she took the baked cookies and shoved them up her asshole. . she took the remaining chunk of the uncooked dough left in the bowl, mindlessly cramming it up there, with the image of santa's wet furry tongue fresh in her mind. she then took any ingredient she could possibly find, covering her body with them in a rather seductive fashion. ;))
she contemplated where to put the chocolate chips. and the weed. she then realized she had shoved so much up her asshole that she had neglected her "love wallet" ( -wtffanfiction) she took a handful of the two and shoved it so far inside of her that it clogged up her fallopian tubes. oh yeaaaaaaaaaaaaah babyyyy. who needs tubal ligation when you can shove weed into your tubes? she was ready.
grandma took herself and got into her giant monster truck, careful not to allow any gooey goodness drip out of her raw caverns. sloosh sloosh, said her vagina and arse as she climbed into the car. she then drove herself straight to the north pole, hitting a few reindeer and elf hookers along the way. she politely knocked on the door, naked as the day she was born, which was quite a long time ago. she didnt mind the el'ves stares or the rainndur's sniffs. one had even tried to lick out her delicious back door. she sLAMMED it AND WELCOMED IT TO THE J A M with a baking pan, instantly killing it. how dare she.
finally after a few minutes of freezing her wrinkly ass off, not that she could feel it of course, being as old as paula deen, mother teresa and lissandra combined, the old man named santa claws finally opened the door. he was a short man, nothing like the badass bara he used to be. he hobbled over and welcomed her inside. "ayy y i like what u did w urself bae" he himself wore only two things. a santa hat that was way too small, and a thong that said "FERGALICIOUS" on the booty. ok. his weenie, even flaccid, was way too gigantic to hold itself in the thong. it was drooped out and hanging at his knee, defeating the whole purpose of the thong in the first place. but hey, at least his ass looked good. grandma licked her dry lips at the sight of it. not that santa could tell, because he was half blind and grandma licked her lips a lot anyways. they tried to fuck right there.
sadly, even with the viagra, santa couldnt seem to penetrate his sexy lover. "jesus christ its like the whole passageway is blocked or something"
"lol sorry thers a lot of cookie batter and kush in ther... .. .. . .. .. . .. . . .. . i guess you;ll have to eat it out of me ; )" santa set to work, shoving his face in her moist love hole. mmsmsmhmmmmmmmmmmmmm, his tongue was long enough to reach the distant plants growing in her tubes and lick them out. much of the vegitation and cookie dough got entangled in his beared as he finished lapping it all up. "ok time to fuck now lets go bab" santa got into position and fired his laser
as grandma screamed like a lil bitch as she was blissfully taken from behind, santa grabbed a fist of hair and yanked her head back. he gruffly whispered in her ear: "i brought a friend to help us out."
suddenly the door opened
and in
walked
her beloved friend, mr. cursor.
"time to do some clickign" the cursor said immediately.
the clicker immediately started getting to work,clicking randomly onto her body. the random hands handling her body were very... handy
finally they found a special spot... .. .. a spot where grandma felt the most happily
COMMENCE NIP NOP SLAPPING...!
the slapping and the sounds of sants bumping into grandma's back end and the squish squish noise of the sweets inside of gramma squished squished and she moaned and moaned "aw ye bbu"
santa upped the power of his magnum thrust while the clickers continued clickering. but even trho gramma was in blise, it clearly wanst enough. it wasnt enough... to bring her to orgameme. santa had to up the guns. he ordered one of the watching elves to bring out... the omega cookie dough dildosaur. he didnt even hav to do anything it just fucking transportalized itself into grandma. "ORRRAHGHGB MEMEM MMMEME" grandma SCREMAEID bc it was rly good. jfc.
it was time. Santa finally started screaming bc he was so happy. "I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU SQUART ACROSS THE ROOM ,,,, NOW THAT TURNS MW ON :-)! NOTHING LIKE HAVING THE BEST OEGAMIOM IN THE WORLD EVERYDAY,,,, YEA BABY ..."
and she did. she had the best oegamiom.
the end k thnx bye.