Hey all! This is (hopefully) going to be my very first successful fanfic on !! Please review because I'm going to need lots of help and encouragement on your part. CONSTRUCTIVE criticism is always welcome, but please phrase your advice helpfully and nicely or...well, I don't really know what...but you'll shatter the dreams of a first-time potential author. Oh, and please don't point out any spelling or grammatical errors – I can't type for my life, so I'm bound to have about a zillion typos. Enjoy!
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter, or anything else that has to do with the noble series by the honorable J.K. Rowling. I DO own Sam, my original main character, as well as Jenna and Cady.
RANDOM FACT: When thinking up the names of my three original characters for this fic. I first picked Sam – there's no significance at all, it was simply the very first name that popped into my head. Jenna was taken from the movie '13 Going on 30' and Cady from 'Mean Girls'. Okay, you can read now...sorry to slow you down.
AN ADVENTURE YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE
Summary: An HP Fanfiction author learns not to write Mary-Sues...(hint-hint this story has a MORAL...)
Chapter 1 - The Fanfiction Police
Sam woke up grinning on a Sunday morning in the middle of July. The sun was streaming in through her window and bluebirds chirped from outside. She'd just had a fabulous dream about herself attending Hogwarts and befriending the trio...taking part of their adventures...playing quidditch...even falling in love with the handsome Draco Malfoy, who had of course become nice. In fact, he'd been just a poor, abused, misunderstood child the whole time. Sam sighed with happiness. That dream was every (female) Potter fan's paradise. She stretched and clambered out of bed.
Of course, thought Sam looking critically at herself in the mirror, I'd be prettier if it really were paradise. Sam wasn't ugly, not even bad looking, really, she reasoned with herself. Just sort of ordinary, forgettable. Too pale, too tall, too skinny, too flat, too blah - and then there were the Braces (awful, ugly strings of metal disfiguring her already unappealing face). She frowned at her reflection and attempted to brush out her mess of stubborn tight curls and finally settled with tying it back after yet another failed battle. She then pulled on her slippers and tiptoed across the bedroom she shared with her seven-year-old sister, Kelly. She quietly switched on the computer and logged on to her favorite Harry Potter fanfiction website.
Still glowing from the incredible dream she had, Sam had a brilliant idea - write a fanfiction about it! She opened up Microsoft Word right away. Let's see...Sam thought excitedly, what improvements could I make...? Well, I'll make myself more attractive for one thing...I'll let my character be petite without being short and slender without being skinny - if only it were possible for myself! I'll give myself wavy golden hair, cascading down my back - oh, that sounds good! - Tanned skin...green eyes, maybe? - No, blue - blue eyes and NO BRACES. Malfoy will absolutely love me! Oh - and I'll make myself a wonderful quidditch player...better than Harry maybe! But not conceited, no way. Now for my name...Sam's kind of boring, I'd need something exciting for my exciting new self...hmm...I'll come back to that, I guess, but it'll have to be something great. I'd be friends with the trio, of course. Everyone will want to be friends with me! And -
Just then, a siren rang out. Sam jumped in her seat and looked wildly around, but Kelly was still asleep. In fact the whole house was as asleep as it had been before the noise. Yet, it was louder than the loudest bang...the siren blared, and Sam heard footsteps thundering up the stairs. Her heart pounded with fear...yet, Kelly was still evenly breathing with her thumb in her mouth...In fact, it seemed as though it was only Sam who heard the noise at all.
Sam's heart leaped into her throat as a man and a woman swung open her door and grabbed her by the arms. They donned police attire and dark glasses so that Sam couldn't see their eyes. The shiny badge on their front read "HARRY POTTER FANFICTION POLICE". Sam stepped on her own foot as hard as she could (seeing as she was unable to pinch herself). It hurt.
"All right, you have the right to remain silent - " The woman said officially.
"I...what?" Sam stammered, scared and perplexed.
"You have been charged with the illegal creation and attempted publishing of a severe Mary-Sue fanfiction. Your sentence is to serve no less than one week at the H.P.F.A.C. - "
"The what?" Sam cried out.
" - The H.P.F.A. C. - the Harry Potter Fanfiction Authors' College, a school for fanfiction improvement in desperate cases."
"But I - "
"You must come quietly or find yourself in more trouble," warned the man.
Sam shut her mouth and allowed herself to be led away...
About a half-hour later, Sam found herself in a large room with folding chairs spread around a large platform with a podium set up. There was a crowd of other girls, from the looks of it ages eleven or so through about twenty, British and American, like Sam, all looking as confused and worried as she was.
"Do you have any idea what's going on?" a red-haired girl with pretty, but nervous-looking blue eyes asked Sam. The girl was slim and tall, but not awkwardly skinny or tall like Sam thought she was, and her hair was super-long, perfectly straight and silky. Sam thought she was really pretty, pretty enough to be the star of a Harry Potter fanfic.
"I have no idea."
"I'm Jenna."
"Sam."
"I don't get it." Jenna said. "I was just trying to write a new Harry Potter fanfiction and these two insanely freaky cops burst into the room and - "
"Me too! Me too! There were sirens! Loud as anything - " Sam interrupted excitedly.
"But no one else could hear!"
"It was so scary!"
"You guys, too? Oh my God, I thought I was dreaming, or maybe dead! I'm so glad to find out that I'm not alone on whatever this is! I'm Cady, who are you?" exclaimed ascared-looking girl about their age who'd just arrived.
"I'm Sam, and this is Jenna." Sam said to Cady, who shook hands with them. Cady was small and a little plump; she had bouncy blonde shampoo-commercial waves, and big brown eyes with twirly lashes. Sam was also happy that she wasn't alone on whatever this was, but she felt self-conscious around Jenna and Cady, who were so much prettier than she was...
"Never mind that," Sam admonished herself, "You have friends, they like you, they're nice, they're Potter fans, be happy!"
The loud clearing of a throat then interrupted Sam's thoughts. She looked around. A tall, old man with a long white beard had walked onto the platform up to the podium.
"Ladies, please be seated." The man said in what sounded like a magically magnified voice. Sam took a seat in between Jenna and Cady and scrutinized the old man. He looked just like...but it couldn't be...
"I am Professor Albus Dumbledore." He said. Sam's mouth dropped open and whispers broke out throughout the room.
"He's got to be kidding!" said Cady in a hushed voice, staring up at the supposed 'Dumbledore'.
"Well, he's doing a good job - he certainly looks like Dumbledore!" Jenna replied.
"Yeah, I know," Sam agreed. "He sounds like him, too..."
"But it can't be..." Jenna quickly added. "Can it...?"
"Yes, ladies, I am in fact telling the truth." Dumbledore said. Sam glanced up at him and saw his blue eyes twinkle in such a way that she was immediately convinced beyond further doubt. "Now then - to business. Firstly, I'd like to personally apologize to each of you for the shock I'm sure you have all received by the newly appointed fanfiction police. You see, the Mary-Sue has become a growing issue in today's fanfiction, and their spread is harmful to both our society and your own. Here, at the Harry Potter Fanfiction Authors College, we will provide a five-day course on the background and dangers of the Mary-Sue, and suggestions for improvement of the quality of your fanfiction. We will also have visitors come to alternating classes to speak to you, and they will hopefully assist you in going down the correct path. When we are satisfied with your results - and I'm sure you will all excel in your own good time - we will send you back by way of advanced time-turner, and your job is to put your newly-acquired knowledge to good use. Right then - any questions?"
Sam had about a million questions, but she found that she was by no means capable of proper speech. Looking around her, she saw that the others were thinking the exact same thing. Cady was fidgeting in her seat, raising her hand timidly and then quickly lowering it repetitiously. Jenna just gaped at Dumbledore, her eyes as big and blue as robins' eggs, as lost for words as everyone else.
"All right then - you may get up now and listen carefully for your name. When either one of Professors McGonagall, Sprout, Flitwick or Snape calls your name from a previously compiled list, you must go to them to receive your class schedule. Thank you." And he retreated from the podium.
There were about three seconds of silence, and then a scraping of chairs and a rush of voices. Sam stared at Jenna and Cady in disbelief.
Cady finally cleared her throat awkwardly and said, "So...that's what they do over the summer..."
COMING UP IN CHAPTER 2...
H.P.F.A.C. Orientation with Professor McGonagall!!! Coming very soon!!
How was that??? Please review, I need it, and remember - I'm new at this.
-Emily