Title: Unwilling To Let Go
Word Count: 1,506
Note: Spoilers for All Hell Breaks Loose, Parts One & Two
Summary: Future Fic. Takes place at the end of Season 3, although I certainly hope this isn't the way things turn out.
Warnings: None, other than beware of a major chick-flick moment and major angst. Oh, and while the brothers are pretty affectionate here, I don't do slash or Wincest, and it was not my intention to write this as such. If you get that impression, that's all on you. I like my brothers just as that...brothers.
Disclaimer: Erik Kripke owns Sam & Dean. I'm just a fan letting her creative juices flow and enjoying all the brotherly angst in the process.
Btw, I don't have a beta and any mistakes are purely my own.
I would so appreciate some comments, both good and/or bad. I'm still relatively inexperienced with fanfic writing, so I need to know how I'm doing. It helps feed my Muse as well (she can't live on cookies alone, you know).
Sam rushed to complete the protective circle of goofer dust around Dean and himself, his hands shaking more from fear than from the act of pouring the black powder onto the floor of the motel room. After a year of worrying, waiting, and trying to find a way to break Dean's pact with the demon, it had finally come down to the moment Sam had been dreading. The hellhound had come to claim his brother.
Dean had been the only one to hear the sounds, the barking and snarling outside the room. The only reason Sam even realized what was happening was because the noise had been sudden and startled Dean, making him jump. Sam knew that normally his brother's hunting skills wouldn't have allowed him to react that way. After all, a hunter needed to be prepared for anything, but even though they knew this was the fateful day, both had been trying to deny the fact that it was in fact, staring them in the face. Once Dean had heard the noise he rose from his chair at the table slowly and Sam knew what was happening.
He quickly grabbed the pouch of goofer dust from his duffel bag, which Bobby had managed to get for them. Dean, of course, had protested. As the months had gone by, Dean had become more and more resigned to his fate.
"You really think a little goofer dust is gonna save me, Sammy."
"It helped with that guy, Evan. We have to at least try it."
"Yeah, whatever."
So Sam had gratefully accepted the pouch from Bobby while Dean just walked out of the house in disgust. Sam thanked the old family friend and went out to the car, more determined than ever that he was going to somehow find a way to save his brother. But the hunts had kept them busy and time quickly passed by. Sam had managed to spend most of his spare time doing research and consulting with Bobby and Ellen, who were also looking for a solution, but nothing had come from it.
Now the moment had arrived and Sam had quickly shoved Dean into the widest open area of the room and proceded to pour the goofer dust into a circle around them. Dean kept looking at the door, which had quickly begun to shake from it's hinges. Sam had just finished forming the circle when the door flew open, the invisible, but still vicious hellhound rushing into the room. It started to claw at the ugly beige carpeting as Sam stepped up his pace in pouring more powder over the already formed ring. As he moved within the circle, Sam swore he could almost hear the snarling sounds of the hellhound himself. He was over halfway through going around the circle again when he finally heard Dean's quiet voice break through the pounding in his ears.
"Let it go, Sammy."
Sam stopped and stood up, the pouch hanging limply in his hands. Looking at Dean, he could see nothing but utter defeat in his brother's green eyes.
"Dean...no."
Dean's eyes were lifeless and dead. A look that Sam had seen too often in the past. Dean had given up.
"Time's up. I had my year."
"That's not good enough. The dust will wor-"
"It won't keep them away forever."
"Dean, I'm not gonna let you die. Not for me."
"Well you're not staying here. The hellhoud's after me, not you."
"I'm not going anywhere, Dean."
Just like Sam had experienced with Evan, a fierce wind began to blow and the goofer dust line was beginning to break. The carpet in one spot was being torn down to the floorboards. Sam ran over to the nearly broken line of powder and poured the remaining goofer dust from the pouch. If only he had more. If only there was more time.
Sam had wanted to find a way out of this. Dean had saved his life so many times. Why couldn't he return the favor just this once? Why did he have to fail? Why did the fates always seem to conspire against them?
Sam let the pouch fall to the floor in defeat.
"I promised I would save you." Sam's eyes began to fill with tears as he saw the new lines of dust he had just poured start to disintegrate.
"You've saved me in more ways than you know." Sam looked up into his brother's eyes, seeing the same wetness in Dean's eyes that Sam felt in his own.
"I couldn't have done half the things I've done if it hadn't been for you being right there with me. You've always been at my side, ready and willing to back me up. And then when I've been lost or out of my mind, you've been there to lead me back. I couldn't have asked for a better brother."
Tears now streamed down Sam's face. Dean had always been his rock, his light in the darkness. He never really imagined that Dean relied on him so much. At first, he couldn't think of what to say.
" Well...the same goes for me." It seemed flat, but Sam was moved beyond words and it was the only way he could tell Dean that he felt the same feelings.
Dean stepped forward quickly and enveloped Sam in a hug, much the same way Sam remembered Dean hugging their dad back in Chicago when they'd finally met up with him again after running into Meg. He returned the hug, willing for time to stand still just this once. He couldn't say goodbye. Not yet. Sam wanted more time. There was so much left to say even though over these past three years of hunting the two of them had grown closer than they'd ever been. Working on hunts, that connection had proven invaluable, saving their lives a hundred times over. How many times had they signaled to each other with just a look between them? How many times had just a word or two conveyed whole volumes of information? Sam pressed his chin into Dean's shoulder and clutched onto his shirt, unwilling to let go.
"I know you tried Sammy. You did everything you could. But don't go blaming yourself for this, okay. This is my fault. I'm the one who made that deal."
"If you're going, then I'm going too."
Dean stepped away from Sam slightly, looking him right in the eyes and still holding onto him by his arms.
"Don't you do that!"
"Dean, I-"
"I made my choice a year ago, Sammy. If you die with me now it'll all be for nothing. You're not dyin' today or anytime soon. Do you hear me?"
Sam shook with emotion. Looking down at the floor, he glanced over at the goofer dust circle. The line was almost broken.
Before Sam could even react to what was happening he felt himself being hurled across the room and into the bathroom by Dean. The door was swiftly slammed shut and locked from the outside as Sam found his voice long enough to shout out Dean's name.
He then heard Dean's voice through the door.
"I'm sorry Sammy. I lov-"
Dean's voice was then ripped away as the door began to shudder and shake from the violence of the hellhound's attack. Sam screamed out for Dean, pounding on the door with his fists, but he knew it was too late. He realized he couldn't hear any sounds from Dean, just the pounding against the door. Sam slumped against the wooden door, feeling the thumping of the attack through to his bones. Then everything fell silent except for Sam's sobs as he fell to the floor.
His head resting against the door, all he could think about was how once again his brother had saved him. Dean...who's purpose in life seemed to be to protect Sam no matter what. No sacrifice was too great even at the cost of his very soul. Sam buried his head in his hands, thinking of Dean being in Hell, suffering for the choice he'd made.
Then a thought came to him. Maybe there was still a way to save Dean. They'd found the doorway to Hell, afterall. He still had the colt which acted as the key. He could go in there and get Dean out. If Dean was willing to sacrifice himself to save Sam, then Sam was just as ready and willing to follow his brother into the depths of Hell to bring him back.
Sam raised his head, a look of resolve in his tear-filled eyes.
"I'll find a way, Dean. I swear! I'm not letting you die without a fight. I'll bring you back...or we can stay in Hell together."
He knew Dean would be furious with him once he got there, but Sam didn't care. If there was one thing he'd learned from his big brother, it was the importance of family and that no price was too high to save the ones you loved.
Don't forget to leave a review!