The First Mistake
She stared at the reflection in the mirror in front of her. There stood a girl who had undergone a transfiguration so dramatic that she was almost unrecognizable. It had only been a couple of hours ago that she had stared at the same reflection and smiled but since then something had happened, something big, something unforgettable and something irreversible. Physically not much was different, except the smile had been replaced by a mixture of fierce self-loathing and miserable regret. It was inside where everything had changed, and looking into her own eyes she could see the difference, to some it would be almost indistinguishable, but in her eyes it ruined everything.
She stepped into the hot bath water and slowly sunk down until only her hazel eyes and the tip of her nose were peeking out from beneath the surface. Suspended in the comforting water she could almost pretend it had never happened, she could pretend it was yesterday. Hermione had grown good at lying to herself over the years. She pretended that she wasn't envious of Harry's fame, that she didn't get jealous whenever she saw Ron with another girl and that the pressure put upon her by almost everyone in her life was something she enjoyed. So surely she could do the same with this. Except, a memory had been created, a single memory which filled her mind and made her stomach jolt and her toes curl; she somehow doubted she would be able to ever forget this. No, this was something Hermione Granger would have to live with for a long time.
As she lay in the bath her thoughts drifted over possible ways out of this horrible situation. Perhaps she could erase both their memories, yes that was a possibility. But then there was always the chance he had told someone, and by the time she had mastered the spells which would allow her to obliterate all recollections of the night's events she was sure that even more people would know. She could leave Hogwarts. No, too depressing, and besides her whole future relied on the final examinations, not to mention her life had become an investment in so many ways that she would be letting everyone down, including her self. No, that was not an option. Well, she supposed she could always talk to him about it. Yeah that's a great idea, she thought to herself sarcastically, I'll just walk right up to him in the middle of breakfast tomorrow and say "Hey Malfoy, Just wanted to let you that I really regret what happened between us last night, and I was wondering if you could perhaps just keep it to yourself, thanks".
She let out an exasperated sigh and disappeared beneath the steamy bath water. Crying underwater was another skill she had mastered in her time at Hogwarts. Sharing such close living quarters she had been forced to find ways to release her emotions in a manner that would go undetected by her fellow house members. Most of the girls didn't seem to find this necessary but Hermione was a private person and so she lay under the bath water and sobbed and screamed until there was no air left in her lungs and then she would emerge, step out of the bath, wrap a towel around her and finally fall asleep. And when she woke up in the morning, she would assure herself that everything was fine and she would be ok.
She woke up the next morning to the sound of someone calling her name. Her eyes flickered open slowly and she saw a pretty girl with long red hair staring at her with a concerned expression on her face.
"Hermione?" the girl asked tentatively, "Are you ok?"
"What time is it?" Hermione mumbled.
"Almost nine o'clock. You weren't at breakfast and Ron and Harry said they hadn't seen you either. I know it's a Sunday but even so, you're usually the first one up. Besides it's our first Hogsmeade visit today, I thought you'd want to come."
Hermione groaned and sat up rubbing her eyes, still swollen from all the crying she had done last night. "Ok Ginny," she said turning to her friend "I'll be up soon, I'll meet you in the common room, just give me ten minutes."
"Ok," her friend said looking at her still not convinced everything was in fact ok, "I'll make you a tea".
"Thanks," Hermione said as her friend disappeared down the dormitory steps.
Hermione slowly swung each foot out of the warm bed and onto the floor, pushing herself up she stood swaying for a moment as the blood rushed to her head. She walked over to the chest of drawers and searched for her favorite pair of jeans, the ones she always wore. Realizing she had thrown them into the wash just a couple of days ago she took out the only other pair of jeans she possessed. They were white and figure hugging and every time she put them on she would look in the mirror and take them off in a hurry, muttering under her breath something about big hips and cursing herself for buying the damn things in the first place.
This morning however, Hermione could not have cared less about how she looked. She stripped off her pajamas and shivered as she removed her underwear, thinking of the ways Malfoy had touched her the night before, how he had traced his fingers under the waistline of her knickers and how he had… She snapped herself out of the day dream which was fast becoming a twisted fantasy and started to redress her self. Pulling on the jeans and a blue v-kneck jumper she then tied her hair, which had settled down remarkably in the last few months, into a loose pony tail and finished by brushing her teeth. Hermione rarely wore makeup but catching sight of her puffy eyes in the mirror as she left she decided to dab a bit of concealer under each one… and a little mascara.
It was not great weather for a Hogsmeade visit and the four friends huddled under a large umbrella as they made their way towards The Three Broomsticks in desperate need of some warming butter beer. As Harry pushed open the door Hermione felt a rush of warm air envelop her and she suddenly she was surrounded by an overwhelming sense of comfort as the memories from the previous night finally drifted out of her subconscious, buried beneath the crackling fire, cheerful conversations and the clanging of goblets.
The four ordered their butter beers from Madam Rosmerta and sat around a table closest to the fire. Lost in conversation concerning Ginny's attempts to persuade Neville to ask Luna on a date, no one noticed the stares that were coming from a nearby table of Slytherins, no one except for Hermione. As her eyes met those of the blonde haired boy his lips curled into a feint smile. Hermione shot him a nasty glare as she felt the tears welling in her eyes. Then the other boys around the table begun to laugh as Draco Malfoy gave her a sleazy wink as he suggestively licked his lips. Spitting the mouthful of butter beer back into her Goblet she stood up from the table suddenly and excused herself, saying she needed the bathroom.
"She is acting very strangely today" said Ginny, "I really hope she's alright".
"Oh, you know Hermione," said Ron, "she always gets moody around that time of the month!"
"Ron!" cried Ginny as she slapped her brother on the arm, Harry just laughed.
"What?" asked Ron defensively, "We all know it's true!"
Outside Hermione ran through the rain until she reached the secluded spot she often went when she was upset. Sheltered from the dismal weather she sat beneath the rear veranda of the, now unused, Hogsmeade Quidditch Club. The tears were flowing freely as she searched her bag from the packet of tissues she always kept on her for emergencies. Realizing they were empty she angrily swiped her eyes with the sleeve of her jumper.
"Granger," a familiar voice called "why are you round here crying your eyes out?"
"I am not crying, I'm just…thinking" she said turning around to face Draco Malfoy as he leaned against the dirty brick wall, a cigarette dangling from his smirking mouth.
"Uh huh, sure," he drawled "how do u explain this then?" he asked indicating the mascara running down her cheeks.
Hermione stared at him in disgust and as he went to open his mouth again she cut him off quickly. "Fuck off Malfoy! I don't want to hear it, just leave me alone!" - The tone of her voice surprised her; she hadn't realized she could sound so harsh. Expecting him to return her rudeness with a sharp insult she glared at him longing him to leave her in peace.
Then he did the worst thing possible, he began to laugh. "Granger," he said "Do you really think you can get rid of me that easily. First of all this is my spot, and secondly you're fair game now Granger, and even better than that you're my triumph… you were surprisingly easy. So no Granger, I'm not going to leave you alone. You don't want to be associated with me well too fucking late, you made a choice, so deal with it."
She looked up at him no longer crying all he could see as he looked into her eyes was a vast emptiness. She continued to stare at him as she got up and opened her mouth to speak. "Malfoy, it was a mistake," she said miserably then turned around sharply and ran back into the pouring rain. The boy leaned against the wall once more and as he took a last drag of his cigarette he felt something strange, something he hadn't felt before. When she had said those words it had felt like his heart had stopped beating, she had gotten to him for some reason. He had underestimated Hermione Granger. That was his first mistake.