Summary: this is my pathetic attempt at a Palpatine fanfic. Getting inside the head of a psychopath and all that. I apologise in advance.
I've always loved darkness.
Even as a young boy on Naboo, I found comfort and solace in the dark of night. When the other children would taunt me in the cruel daylight, it was always in the cool, soothing darkness that I would find peace.
It was in darkness that I met my Master. He showed me the true nature of this great power I had always felt myself drawn to, and run to when in despair. He showed me how to use it to hide when I don't wish to be seen; to defend when I don't wish to be hurt; to manipulate when I don't wish to be controlled.
To kill when I do not wish others to live.
I was a boy when I committed my first murder. To this day they still never found out how my parents died, nor the trivial reason they had been killed. I had felt sick afterwards, sick and yet oddly strong. Power like I'd never imagined came to envelop me, to keep me safe, take away my guilt and shame, enrobing me instead in soothing dark.
That day I was named, and my master called me Sidious.
"Darth Sidious," he said. His voice seemed to rest invisible hands on my shoulders, warm fatherly hands as I bowed before him. "the Force has spoken to me – you will be the greatest of all Sith. Through you, the Sith will reclaim their rightful place from the Jedi who stole it from them. You will bring peace to our galaxy."
His voice comforted me, let me know that what I'd done was right. I felt my heart swell with pride– at last, I will become someone great. Someone worth noticing.
Never again would I be ignored. Never again would I be teased and taunted, while those with the power to stop it stand by and watch. I would have the power, I would control things. When I do, those who had teased and hated me would see what I've become, what I've accomplished, and weep in their guilt and shame.
That day, when I was named among the Sith, I had sold my soul to my anger and hatred and fear. I believed that there was no greater satisfaction than to see those who had humiliated me suffer. And it was true, for a while.
But then once those who had hurt me were gone I realised, slowly at first, that I had needed them. They had been my source of anger, and without that, I had no power. They had made me strong, and I had destroyed my source of strength. I then realized in my confused and muddled mind, that I had to find new sources of power.
"Watch, apprentice," Darth Plageous intoned. I knew not where or how he found the slave girl who lay prone in unnatural sleep before us, nor could I fathom why, of all the Outer Rim worlds he had chosen this barren desert, all I cared about was the lesson. My master was about to share his secret power with me. Power to create life.
Plageous held his hands mere inches from the woman's abdomen. I made sure to take careful note of everything – his posture, his expression, even every involuntary flex of a muscle or twitch of a finger could be important. In the force he radiated power, but it was a kind I've never seen before or since. However the new signature that appeared beneath my master's palms, that I would know quite well.
Years later, we would rule the galaxy together.
Lifting his hands in satisfaction, he wore the almost smug expression of one who had expected nothing less than success; as though what he had just accomplished was nothing more than a common occurrence. As natural as breathing.
"Do you understand?" He could easily have been asking 'would you care for a drink?'
"Yes, my master," I bowed my head slightly. 'I understand all to well,' I thought in my secret place, shielded even from him, 'I understand that soon I will be the master!'
All I needed was to bide my time – there is still more for him to teach me. Once he is out of the way – once the child was old enough and I have established my own legacy, I would come back for him. He would be my apprentice. Sith from birth. Destined to be even greater than I – greater than the vaunted Jedi. I could see it so clearly –
Ten years from now, I would rule the galaxy.
It was all so…perfect.
So…fitting.
So…insidious.