Whoo, new story! Yay!

Most of my Fanfictions have been serious so far, but this one isn't. At all.

WARNING: SWEARING THROUGHOUT STORY

Beg1nnings

I suppose I should start at the beginning. After all, there's no sense in starting in the middle, or the end, is there? Unless you're trying to build suspense, I guess, like some of those crappy fanfiction writers do. Well, I'm not going to start off anywhere but the beginning. Yeah. The beginning.

OK, here goes. I'm crap at this kind of thing. Before, I always left the exposition to the writers and the authors. Are those both the same thing? I think so. Never mind.

Right, the beginning. Yes. Well, there's a couple of things you need to know about me first. My name is Ian. Ian Preacher. Despite my surname, I've never preached anything in my life, except the immortal mantra that being a dick to people is awesome. I'm seventeen, tall, dark haired, dark eyed and an all round egotistical self-centred jerk. At least, I was.

I was.

Not now, though. Not after what happened to me.

You see, I didn't have many friends back then. No, no, don't try to console me about it. Oh, you weren't trying to? Asshole. Anyway, I used to prefer my own company to the company of others, spending hours shut away from the sun on my computer. I was a gamer, you see. Half Life, Minecraft, Portal, Audiosurf, Blur, I'd played 'em all. In fact, on that fateful day, I was congratulating myself on reaching 300 hours played on Bioshock 2, after a 2-and-a-half-week marathon doing nothing else. When I finally emerged from my darkened sanctuary, blinking at the harshness of an electric light, my parents gave me the most condescending, evil looks I had ever seen.

"Ian!" My mother had said, "Y u play so much brah?!" Or words to that effect, anyway. In truth, I don't really remember what she said.

I ignored her.

Soon enough, though, I found that 'the outside world' wasn't really to my taste. Too loud, and bright, and hectic. The noise, and the brightness, and the… uhh… hecticness? hecticosity? sent me scurrying back to the safety of my room like the little friggin' wimp that I am. Back to my computer. Back to my private little world, the world that I completely and utterly ruled. I owned that world.

Or so I thought.

I jumped as my phone vibrated weakly next to me, it's little jingle filtering through the air like sand filtering through a sieve. Or water filtering through your hand. Or... screw it, I'm no good at metaphors.

I snatched the slender rectangle up, glancing at the cracked screen with interest. The only people that called me were my friends Duncan (whom we had nicknamed Duchess) and a teen who I had only talked to over the internet, Kore. That was not his real name. We had set up a Minecraft roleplaying blog together (really sad shit, I know) and had both chosen pseudonyms. Kore knew me as NoClip - Clip for short -, no other name needed. The text turned out to be from him, so I opened it up with a growing sense of excitement. It was very short, but nothing much else needed to be said.

[KORE] clip 1.8 released today

I grinned, knowing exactly what he meant. Sprawling out on to my narrow bed, I replied.

[NOCLIP] Server?

Within moments, my phone had beeped again. I knew that Kore had been waiting for me to ask, and had already typed up his answer.

[KORE] pvelords in 15min

The smile on my face widened. PvELords was the server we co-owned together, along with another internet friend called Leon. Like Kore, I had never met him IRL, so to speak. Still, that didn't matter. It wasn't like he knew where I lived or anything if he turned out to be a creepy pedo.

Even if he was, he was a creepy pedo with a render farm in his basement, so we kinda needed him.

My ancient desk chair creaked worryingly as I sat down and booted up the jurassic piece of junk that I call my personal computer. I took a moment to tut as it's sluggish pace, then looked up a list of updates and changes the 1.8 update had brought us on my phone. "The Bountiful Update" the title read. My eyes slowly grew wider as I scanned the lengthy column; it seemed that Mojang was trying desperately to hold onto it's users with all these new features. Right at the foot of the list were two words that made me smirk.

Removed Herobrine.

Kore was a fanatic. He believed, however much I attempted to persuade him otherwise, that Herobrine was an actual feature of the game. At the time, I could have told you with absolute certainty that he didn't exist. Hell, I'd even gone through the game's code searching for entities akin to him and finding none.

Yes, I could have told you there was no Herobrine back then.

Anyway, that's for another time. At that precise moment, the main thing on my mind was the new update, with all it's new blocks, mobs, and bug fixes. Kore had been even more thrilled than I had been; he and Leon had worked tirelessly all night to update PvELords to 1.8 standards, and they were pretty sure it worked. I was to be the tester, I always was when they updated something. After all, If anyone had to fu- uh, mess up their computer it should be me. My computer is crap anyway.

Heavy rain spattered on the glass outside my window as my decrepit machine finally booted up.

[[Welcome, Ian P.]]

Before it had even finished loading, I had double clicked the little blocky icon on my desktop. I knew that Minecraft would take at least five minutes to load, and that wasn't even taking into account the time 1.8 would take to download. I sighed heavily as my phone vibrated again.

[KORE] where r u im in spawn

[NOCLIP] Give me a min. I'm loading.

[KORE] get a better pc dickface

"Jerk." I said out loud, chuckling. Glancing up, I saw that Minecraft had finally loaded, and in record time at that. I navigated to my server list, scrolling down until I found the correct ip. Sure enough, while most of the servers had red crosses beside them indicating they were not joinable, PvELords did not. I selected it, and waited for my computer to connect as my phone went off yet again.

"Oh, piss off Kore, I'm coming!" I growled at nothing in particular, leaning over to grasp the mobile. When I opened up my message app, however, I saw the text was not from him. Instead, it was from Leon.

[LEON] Clip! Do not join the server!

I frowned, glancing up at my pc screen, at the still-loading game. He'd probably found a bug, or some shit like that. Never mind, I'd just quit as soon as my game loaded, otherwise I'd crash if I tried to exit now. Crashing would waste more time, when it was clear Kore was already pissed at me for being so slow. Before I could reply to Leon's message, another arrived.

[LEON] Answer me! Tell me you haven't joined that server, Clip!

This, above anything, struck me as odd. Leon was usually the calm, laid back one. What glitch could be so bad that he would message me like this?

[NOCLIP] Hey man, chill. What's up?

Within seconds, Leon replied, like I had suspected he would.

[LEON] Have you joined that fucking server Clip? Yes or no?

[LEON] Answer me dammit!

"Don't wait for me to reply then, ass!" I frowned. Leon's texts were really putting a damper on my good mood. I had no idea what he'd do if I said that I'd joined, so I wrote-

[NOCLIP] No, not yet. I won't join then, If there's a bug or something like that.

I received no messages from either of my friends for a few minutes; I spent the time staring at my PC screen, waiting for the server to load so I could exit as quickly as possible. Something about Leon's texts had me genuinely worried.

[LEON] Do not join that server, Clip. Bad bug.

[LEON] You hear me? BAD.

"Yeah, yeah, I get the point." Thoroughly irritated now, I put my phone on silent and threw it onto my mattress, then turned back to my computer.

Loading…

Loading…

Loading…

Then, suddenly, I was in.

So, what do you think? Should I continue this? :D

Leave a review if you enjoyed!