A/N: Hi, hello. Angst ahead. So much angst. Just be forewarned.
Please leave any reviews or thoughts you might have – I'd love to hear any feedback.
Ideas are mine, characters are not. I just chose to pretend I'm a writer on the show and abuse them for some reason.
Dean's black eyes look around the room, taking in his surroundings, coming to rest on the trench coated angel standing to his left and the long haired man to his right before staring straight forward.
"Yes?" He asks sarcastically. "Can I help you?" Sam scoffs.
"Dean."
"That's my name. Is there some reason you summoned me here?" Dean looks over to Castiel, his eyes still dark.
"We heard what you did Dean. To those kids." Dean barks a laugh.
"They should have known better. Summoning demons. Served them right." Castiel shakes his head. "What's wrong angel feathers? Don't like when other beings take your place? Seems you've been a little light on the smiting lately... thought I'd help you out some. Made sure they won't be summoning anything again."
"I was able to heal them." Castiel says. Dean purses his lips.
"Well, that was a waste of a perfectly good pickaxe then."
"Snap out of this Dean!" Sam shouts, standing from the desk he was leaning on, "It doesn't have to be like this. We can heal you."
"Right. The human blood. Cure a demon. But, you see, there's a problem." Dean's eyes clear and he smiles mischievously, "I command an army – thousands who have lined up to follow me. I go missing for more than a day and they come on the war path. And your name is first on the list Sammy."
"Don't call me that."
"Oh, look at you, so indignant. The freak mad at being attacked by demons." Dean glances to Castiel, then continues, "Seems to me that your smartest move is to find some little scaredy demon and drain them dry. Get full of go juice again." Sam's face goes pale.
"Or maybe you already have. Huh." Dean looks to Castiel, standing arms crossed on the wall. Dean shrugs and looks around the room. "So tell me Samantha, was it as good as you remembered? Or was it better?" Sam doesn't raise his eyes from the floor and Dean brings his wrist up to his mouth, sliding it across his tooth until he smells iron. Tiny drops of blood hit the floor.
"How bout this?" drip "This is power." drip "This is Knight juice. Drink the koolaid Sammy." drip drip drip. Sam inhales sharply before glancing up at Dean, his face calm. Dean grins.
"Let's have some fun, huh? Raise a little hell, literally." Dean holds his wrist out in front of him, offering. Sam takes a step forward and Castiel steps forward as well.
"Sam." the angel says. Sam waves him away.
"It's okay." Sam says in response and walks another step further. Dean steps forward, as close as he can get to the edge, his wrist displayed, dripdripdrip. Dean's eyes flick black for a split second as Sam pulls up just short of the circle.
"How do I know you won't just snap my neck?" Sam asks. Dean drops his arm.
"On my honor Sam."
"You don't have any honor." Sam retorts. Dean makes a snide face.
"I want you by my side Sammy." He raises his arm again. "Let's go hunting." Sam leans forward, almost over the edge of the circle, and then splashes holy water in Dean's face. Dean screams.
"The fuck!" Dean wipes at his face, his eyes ebony. Sam's eyes are narrow and he takes a step back. "When I get out of here Sam, and I will get out, I will end you. You will spend a thousand years on the spit and I will personally flay you one millimeter at a time."
"Big talk from a demon with a leash on." Sam says and walks toward the door. Sam catches Cas' eyes and gestures towards the door, walks out and Castiel follows. Dean hollers an obscenity as the door closes behind them. Sam makes to walk down the hallway but Castiel stops him short.
"This is a lost cause Sam. Your brother is gone." Sam sighs.
"He's... we can heal him. There's got to be a way."
"But at what cost? His soul may be made human but the sins will remain. Dean will remember every soul he took, every cut and death he caused. Would you condemn him to live with that guilt?" Castiel looks back to the door, hears the tenor voice yelling indeterminately behind the door. "You may save him from being a demon but you cannot save him from hell."
Sam's face is set. "We'll deal with that later. Right now I need to get my brother back. So you go do what you need to do and I'll read everything I can find until something comes up."
"Sam?" Castiel starts. Sam raises his eyebrows. "Would it be unwise to go back in and try to find a part of humanity in him? Dig until I bring up a positive memory?" Sam's eyes look side to side.
"Yeah. Yeah, I'd say that's a pretty bad idea." Castiel nods. "But you're going to do it anyway. So I guess just remember that everything he'll say is to hurt you. Don't let him get under your skin."
"I have no intention of letting him near my skin." Castiel replies. Sam just nods.
"Okay. Well I'll be in the archives. Just... be careful." Sam walks past Castiel as the angel opens the door to the holding cell.
"What's up angel feathers?" Dean says, walking to the edge of the trap. "How's tricks?" Castiel narrows his eyes.
"Tell me your sins Dean. So I can start to absolve them." Dean raises his eyebrows suggestively.
"Sounds fun." Dean starts ticking off on his fingers. "Well lets see... I started the apocalypse. Torturing in Hell, breaking that oh-so-fun first seal. I didn't kill Sam before he killed Lilith, so lets count that one as on me. I killed a shit ton of angels – that's got to be, what, three 'hail Marys' a piece?" Dean licks his lips, "I've fucked a lot of girls. Premarital sex. Dirty, rough, hot, no vows sex. And I took the Lord's name in vain while I fucked the sluts. Should I go on?"
"I don't mean your human sins Dean. What atrocities have you committed since your soul was corrupted?"
"Atrocities is such a strong word. I like to think of them more as 'games'. I play for awhile, figure out the rules and how to break them. And then I get bored." Castiel takes a step towards Dean, still far out of reach, nowhere near the trap. But he's curious.
"Games?" Castiel asks. Dean runs his tongue along his teeth.
"I could show you..." Dean considers for a second, then shrugs. "No, I shouldn't. You'd be too scared."
"I have seen the rise and fall of civilizations. I watched the universe come into being. Nothing scares me Dean."
"No. You're too fragile. You couldn't handle it." Castiel takes a step closer.
"I am an angel. There is nothing I have not seen, no thing you could do that would break me."
"Step inside the circle and let's see." Castiel hesitates, his shoes inches from the edge.
"Tell me what you did. Explain to me." Dean brings his toes to the edge and reaches his hand out to Cas, three centimeters from touching him.
"What haven't I done? That's a much shorter list." Dean brings his eyes up to meet the azure ones. "Break the trap Cas. Let me free and we can play all night."
"Play? You still haven't told me what you've done." Cas' voice shakes, barely, but Dean's eyes flash fire from understanding.
"You know, I've always wanted to get that tie in my hands." He says, "Pull you to me, run my fingers though your hair. See if I can't get you ruffled, angel." Castiel draws a shaky breath. "Is that what you want Cas?" Dean licks his lips again. "Because that's what I want. I used to have all these... thoughts. Late at night. I'd imagine sliding myself inside you, wondered what kinds of sounds you'd make when I hit that sweet spot." Castiel's eyes are opened wide. "Aren't you the least bit curious? Haven't you wondered what it would be like, to scratch that itch that's bothered you for ages. I can do that for you Cas. Break this trap and I swear we'll break a mattress before I'm done with you." Castiel bites his lip.
"Tell me your sins Dean." He says, his voice strained.
"It's a sin that I never told you that I thought about you when I was alone. Or what exactly I was thinking about. It's a sin that I've never laid eyes on your naked flesh. It's a sin the things that I will whisper as soon as I'm free."
"How many people have you killed or tortured?"
"100? 200?"
"How many Dean?"
"Not enough. Because every time I close my eyes, I see your face staring at me in disgust. I'm going to keep torturing and killing, flaying and biting and cutting and ripping, until I have the memory of you in orgasm to imprint on my eyelids instead." Dean's voice lowers and Cas leans forward three centimeters. "Remember that Cas. Every soul that I take and play with is because you haven't let me own you yet. Every demon I create is because you won't let me give you pleasure. The pain and suffering is yours alone to stop." Dean steps back and crosses his arms. Cas looks to him.
"Your move. You coming in?" Castiel takes a step back, his eyes never leaving the demon in the center of the circle.
"I'm going to fix you Dean. I'll cure you."
"Castiel. Poor, dear Castiel. Don't you get it?" Cas looks around. "Cas. Baby." Dean chuckles, his head shaking. "If you heal me, this offer is gone. I have power and confidence now. I'm not afraid of acting on my urges. You get one chance to let me fuck you, good and hard, and this is it. Don't waste it." Castiel draws a shaky breath. "I want to hear you scream my name Cas. Watch you fall apart. See your cock twitch as you come." Castiel steps back again, watches Dean's eyes narrow. "Last chance Cas. You walk out of this room and I swear you'll be right next to Sammy on the rack. Can't wait to see what the boys will do with a sweet virgin angel."
"Angels' souls can't be held in Hell." Cas says, but his voice betrays his doubt.
"You'd be surprised what can happen with enough backup and heavy chains. There's no angel factions to save you. Let me go Cas. Break the trap and I'll show you how I can make this rotten bunker feel like Heaven."
"Dean." Cas says, rocking up on the pads of his feet. Dean raises his eyebrows. "Dean." Cas says again. Dean walks once more to edge of the trap, his eyes lust filled. Cas looks at the wall.
"How many souls?"
"276. Can we fuck now?" Dean asks. Cas shakes his head and backs out the door.
"Hey. Hey!" Dean shouts, "Come back here you little winged douchebag. Don't leave me. I swear I will play with you until you're begging for death. I will slice your wings off one feather at a time, you arrogant cherub!" Cas slams the door shut and puts his back against the metal, a tear streaming down his cheek. Sam comes around the corner, sandwich in hand and pauses next to Cas.
"Everything okay?" He asks, swallowing the bite down.
"We're going to need a miracle. It's worse than I thought."
"I'll keep looking." Sam says and walks past as Cas sinks to the ground. He bows his head into his hands and prays.
Father, I don't know where you are, or if you're listening, but I have to ask for help. Give me the strength to endure this torture until we can find a cure. Show me how to save him from the corruption. Amen.
"You shit eating backwards cupid, come back in here." Castiel opens the door again and stands just inside it.
"Dean, I'm so sorry." Cas says, a tear falling.
"It must kill you to know that for all the work you put it, none of it mattered. You failed. You raised me from Hell, and now I'm right back where I was. Nothing you did made any difference. You are worthless."
"Dean I can't stand to see you like this. It's killing me." Cas says, his voice high pitched. Dean's grin is slow and malicious as the pieces visibly click together in his mind.
"Isn't that just beautiful. An angel... an angel in love with a demon." Dean shakes his head slowly, "Your dad must be proud. Always were the little rebel, eh Castiel?" Dean pauses, waiting until Castiel meets his eyes before continuing, "Well try this on for size. No matter what you do, or what you say, or how many times you wait for me to pray to you, it will never be enough. I want your body underneath me and I would willingly fuck you 'til Judgement Day." Dean takes a deep breath, his eyes going onyx.
"But I will never love you back." Castiel feels a rough twist in his chest, a small sound escaping his anguished lips.
"I'm so sorry Dean." Castiel says again and slips back through the door, hearing a violent yell from inside the door. Castiel shakes and trembles as he walks towards the archives where Sam said he would be. He pauses when a voice comes through his head, speaking slowly and calmly, delivering the message that he already knew was to come.
"Dean Winchester is fallen."
Without really understanding why, Castiel flaps his wings, soars, zooms, until he's back in a dilapidated barn, demon banishing sigils drawn on every wall. And there, with no witnesses and nothing left to fight for, he collapses to the ground and weeps.
Song that inspired this tragedy – Easton Corbin "Love You Back".