Alias: My brain has decided it likes blood with its angst. Here's the result! Go figure on how much this pairing has decided to eat my brain. I'd blame Brad C, but I'm just as bad or worse. Since I liked Nii-hakase, long before I started writing these dark pieces. Sexy manipulative bastard and his favorite toy. evil grin
Don't worry more Gojyo and Hakkai goodness on the way. That has never left my mind…only been competing for the spotlight. --;;
Pervasive Threnody! Thanks for the beta once again. I'm amazed you've come away unscathed from these things.
Disclaimers: All GS Saiyuki characters belong to Kazuya Minekura and not me, or I'd not be in university, ne?
Unrequited Death
By AliasOfWestgate
Why? Why do you still smile at me? I've beaten you bloody. I could have killed you three times over by now. Yet you still grin at me, through the dark blood over the stubble on your face. I see the eye glasses I broke not five minutes ago on the floor. Your stupid toy on the tiles of the lab soaking up your blood. Its unwavering smile leering at me, too.
I wanted to do this, to kill you. I can't. I can't kill you, even with the smile cracked across your face, mocking me so. I hit you so hard it broke your nose, I violated you the same way you have to me, so many times in the past. You've wrecked everything I loved, ruined me beyond compare. Yet I can't kill you…..
My family is beyond my reach now. I should kill you for that alone. What little I had left, you destroyed. Wasn't that your goal all along? We were just pawns. But why can't I destroy you.
You try one more time to get up off the slick floors. Another fist to the gut stops that. I'm not even holding back. That satisfying thwack as you hit the ground is more than enough for me. Bloodlust still pounding in my mind.
No one left to hold me back, not Doku, not Yaone, not Lirin. Not even my poor Mother. I want to see you bleed; I want to see you dead. So why aren't you dead yet? I want to die, but not without seeing you gone first. For what you've done, what you did to my family. I can't take this. Why don't you die?
You're none of them. Your crooked grin mocks me. Even as you lay there, blood oozing from all cuts I've inflicted on the cold ground. Why am I letting you live? You shouldn't be here, most of all. You who betrayed everyone in the world should not be here. Die! Just DIE! Damn you!
I can't kill you. I don't know why but I can't kill you. Dissolving into tears is all I can do. I feel the cold tiles on my arms. I've collapsed there, sobbing. I can't do it. There's nothing left, not of me, not of any of those I knew before. No one.
You manage to stand up; even with the leg I broke earlier. Why do you pick up your stuffed rabbit again? It's negligently placed into a now darkly spattered lab coat pocket. That once white fabric now ribboned with blood from my violent revenge on you. I hear your breath as you lean near. Grabbing my chin as you face me, cold green-grey eyes stare into mine, amidst ragged stubble, and black hair dripping with blood. Mostly yours. "You're still mine, daiji na mono." is all I hear, in that infuriating baritone voice.
I still want you dead!
Owari ;-)
Alias: I've got so much on my plate right now, it's ridiculous. I'll be back soon, with more. waves and goes back to typing madly while giggling to herself