A/N: Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
It's about Remus Lupin as a kid. Sorry, this is kind of boring at first I guess...
PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! Be harsh, I deserve it if you are!
He was done. Done with the snide comments, the silences, the moments of shock when anyone found out. He was finished with the ceaseless nightmares, the abyss between him and the rest of his family. What hurt most of all, though, was that brief moment of shame and pity whenever he met eyes with one who knew. Sorrow was in his father's eyes, and there was no bond anymore with his family. It had all been destroyed in one night, beyond anyone's control. He still had a few scars, but the emotional ones hurt far more than the ones on his legs and chest. A night a month was spent in a nightmare, the destruction he caused only apparent after the full moon waned. He couldn't get out of the thing he was trapped in, couldn't even realize who he was. Not even what he was.
Every afternoon before a full moon, his father would take him to the middle of the woods, cast a security spell in a large bubble around him, and leave, returning in the morning when the monster was gone. But that was over now. He couldn't stand it anymore, couldn't stand another day, another moment, with people who couldn't understand. He folded another sweater, and his thoughts involuntarily flew to his dream. Hogwarts. It was obviously inaccessible, and he thought he'd blocked all hope from his mind. But there would be no eager anticipation, and no bitter disappointment. He refused to hope for what could never happen.
"Remus!" came a cry from downstairs. "Dinner!"
He sighed and set down his backpack, oversized and heavy, and sat on the edge of his bed. He tried to collect his thoughts into the calmness, the gentle nothing. "Coming!" he called. Now, he needed food.
Throughout dinner, he thought about where to go, and what he needed. He was always a planner; he couldn't do anything without scheduling it in advance. This was the biggest thing he'd ever done, and the plan needed to be flawless. His parents would understand—probably—but his brother wouldn't. Remus would leave a note, and hoped that would suffice. He needed to pack food, but that was all he was missing. The money he had saved up his entire life was in his pack, and it would be enough for a while, at least until he could find another source of money. He could get a job, could easily pass as a boy much older. Remus didn't have to be anywhere in particular, but he was drawn to go somewhere, if just for a small time. In a rare poetic moment, he thought that he had to find who he really was, define himself beyond the wolf inside. He would just go, go anywhere. England, Ireland, perhaps even the rest of Europe.
His silence at the table was noticed, but it was nothing new, as Remus was aware. There was no suspicion, and when his parents went to sleep early, he was up. He crept silently to the pantry and searched it with a high-power flashlight. He felt the pang of pain at the thought of magic, but quickly suppressed it, forcing it back to the calmness, the nothing. He grabbed canned soup, a few sealed loaves of bread, apples, and water, making sure he had enough for a while. He considered, then grabbed crackers and granola bars as well. It could be a long time before more food was available, but it could also be just a few days.
Satisfied, he went back upstairs and stuffed the food into his enormous backpack and picked it up. It was heavy, very heavy, but he could manage. He'd been over everything, and there was nothing he didn't absolutely need. Except for a few books, but he definitely wanted those. They were light, anyway.
At last, he was fully prepared. He strapped the backpack on, taped the note to his door, and stepped out of the room. He smiled a little, a prematurely nostalgic smile that looked forward to adventure with delight. He quietly walked downstairs, jumping over the seventh and eleventh steps to avoid the loud creaks. When he opened the door, the fresh air greeted him with a burst of invigoration, and he left the house. He closed the door and looked at the sky. There wasn't a cloud in sight, and the stars were magnificent, bright and clear.
Best of all and most importantly, the moon was but a tiny sliver. Remus was free; the wolf was out.
A/N: Thanks for reading, please review! More to come (I hope, I get sidetracked)!