AN: Yes, I'm back. I haven't abandoned NCIS, but I've been working on original fiction — I have a short-story collection publishing Sept. 6 — so NCIS has been on the back burner. If you want more details about that, including a free download of the first story, go to jenniecoughlin dot wordpress dot com.

This standalone was written for LJ's Ficathon for tyloric. The prompt was: McGee has been acting strangely and Tony thinks he's met someone, so he starts digging in to Tim's personal life a bit (maybe more than he should have). What Tony finds wasn't anything he was expecting. (Looking for humor here. Other than that, surprise me.)

Disclaimer: The characters and settings belong to CBS and DPB. Not my sandbox - not making any money off of them.

Undercover Friendship

"Yeah, Tony, whatever." With that, McGee headed for the elevator, leaving Tony staring after him.

This just wasn't right. All his usual jibes about McVirgin's lack of a love life had been bouncing off him lately. Since Gibbs had returned a few months ago, if he had to pinpoint it. While the Boss was off on his margarita safari, Tony was sure Abby and McGee were back together — or at least sleeping together — but McGee wouldn't be secretive about that. No point really, not when Abby laced her conversation with innuendo. She hadn't been lately, so Probie wasn't probing in that direction anymore. But he was definitely up to something, and he wasn't sharing.

Tony thought of hacking into McGee's cell phone records, but McGeek probably had some tracker set up that would tell him he was being hacked and who was doing it, and Tony liked not having people trying to kill him. That happened enough without him encouraging it.

Tony grabbed his gear and headed home. Cross-town traffic was slow and by the time he got to Northwest D.C., it was almost 2100. He found parking on the same block as his apartment — a minor miracle — and decided it was too late to cook. He'd just change, then head out for something.

In less than half an hour, he was walking toward the DuPont Circle area with its dozens of restaurants. A good dinner, a few drinks, maybe even some time at one of the clubs in the area — the perfect recipe for a night off, especially if he could hook up with somebody. This was probably his last chance before the undercover operation the director had him running took him off the market for a while.

The pad Thai at the hole-in-the wall restaurant on Connecticut was authentic, and the waitress flirted all night. Yeah, he was definitely in the mood for a night out after that. Not this club, though. Sizzle was one Abby had dragged him to once, but leather bars weren't really his thing. He skirted the line, hoping his favorite Goth wasn't waiting to get in. She'd drag him with her, and this wasn't a leather, chains, and black eyeliner kind of night.

He was almost past the line — no pigtails in sight — when he saw a familiar profile. Tony averted his eyes and kept walking, hoping not to be seen. It wasn't until he had reached the end of the block and turned down the side street that he let himself process what he'd seen. McGee? In leather? Without Abby anywhere in sight? Couldn't be.

Tony did his best to lose himself in a night out — loud music, cold drinks, sexy women, and dancing so hot it was probably illegal in some states — but he couldn't get what he'd seen out of his mind. Something was not right about this.

OK, sure, McGee had gotten better about hiding things since he joined the team. Tony rolled his eyes at the thought of Agents Tommy, McGregor, Lisa, and Tibbs.

As he walked home, his mind pleasantly buzzed, he debated his next steps. He should have gone into the club, done some surveillance, but he wasn't dressed for it, and he didn't really feel like going undercover as a Goth. So when he got home, instead of going upstairs to his apartment, he headed back into the Navy Yard. At 0100 on a Friday night, he would be the only one there. The security guards didn't even blink an eye at his appearance, which just told him he'd spent too many late nights here.

Tony settled down at his computer and tried to figure out what he could do that McHacker wouldn't be able to trace. He made a face at his computer. Illegal investigating was easier when he wasn't trying to perpetrate it on the king of hacking. Tony was supposed to be the only one sneaking around behind his teammates' backs, and only because the director required it. He paused. Could Jenny have assigned McGee to some sort of op also? He dismissed the idea. No way would McGee be able to keep that a secret from Gibbs, not after that mess with his sister.

Maybe it really was just a new girlfriend? Probie could have hooked up with one of Abby's friends — that would explain the club. Tony had always figured Abby was McGee's walk on the wild side, but maybe he'd gotten a taste for leather. No. He was not going down that path, or he'd need to bleach his brain.

Tony pulled up McGee's file directory to see what he'd been working on. If McGee noticed, he could always say he was looking for case files to cross-reference on one of his reports. But nothing jumped out at him in the files. Abby might be able to spot something hinky, but he wasn't Abby.

Wait, Abby would know if McGee had hooked up with a Goth. Tony grinned. Looks like he was finding his favorite forensic expert tomorrow and bribing her with Caf-Pow and a night out in exchange for the scoop. Tony shut down his computer and headed home, wondering if he could maneuver Abby into meeting him at the club where he'd seen McGee. Guess he was going undercover as a Goth. At least he still had that leather vest from an undercover op a few years ago. That and black jeans would let him pass.

The following afternoon, Tony texted Abby:My favorite girl have space on her dance card tonight?

The return phone call came within minutes.

"Tony! You really want to go clubbing? We haven't been in ages and ages, not since before Gibbs left. And you're always busy when I ask now. So where do you want to go? Someplace not too crazy, right? We could go to the place down by the stadium or maybe over by the university. No, wait, then you'll spend the whole time hitting on co-eds, and the college guys will be trying to feel me up. What about-"

"Abs, chill. I was walking home last night and passed that place north of DuPont, Sizzle, and it reminded me we hadn't been out in too long. We can go wherever you want." A slight pause. "Hell, we can even go to Sizzle." He waited for his response, hoping he hadn't overplayed his hand.

"Sweet! I haven't been there in forever." He could almost her her smiling. "I'll be at your place tonight — need to drool over you before we head out."

Once Tony got off the phone, he planned out his outfit like this was an undercover op. He needed to make sure he fit in, plus the club was just close enough to the hospital that he didn't want any of Jeanne's coworkers who might be there to recognize him as Tony DiNardo. That would cause a whole different set of problems.

When Abby knocked on his door that night, Tony was just admiring his handiwork in the mirror. A little eyeliner, some green gel on the tips of his hair, and he looked the part. Skin-tight black T-shirt, black leather vest, and black jeans with boots would blend into the crowd.

"Tony, you look hot!" Abby's eyes widened as she took him in. "Not that you're not always hot, but that's movie leading man hot. Like Gibbs is all badass hot, and McGee has the sexy geek thing going, but you, you're smoking' hot tonight."

"You're looking pretty fine yourself." He scanned her short red skirt, leather bustier, and the rare sight of shoulder-length black hair skimming her bare shoulders. "Did you paint that skirt on?"

She grinned. "Watch it, Tony — you're going to start sounding like Gibbs soon."

"I'm not complaining, my mistress of the dark." He slipped into his usual flirtatious self.

"Oh, trust me, neither is Gibbs." Abby winked. "Come on, let's go."

Tony was not even going to touch that comment. It didn't matter what he said, Gibbs would use his spidey-senses to find out and kill Tony.

Like last night, there was a line outside the club when they got there. Abby waved and greeted several people as they made their way to the end of the line. They were almost there when she shrieked.

"Timmy!"

Sure enough, there was McGee again, dressed like a hardcore Goth. Tony couldn't decide if he should laugh at the sight or marvel that McGee actually managed to not look much more ridiculous than anybody else in the the line.

He didn't respond to Abby, so Tony walked over. "Nice look, McGoth." It was too dark outside to tell, but he was willing to bet McGee's ears turned red.

"I don't..." McGee fell silent.

Tony scanned his coworker and noticed that he had a wallet in one pocket and a notebook in the other. Realization dawned. "McGemcity?"

"Tony, keep your voice down." McGee glared at him.

"Or is it McGregor?" Tony had to fight back a laugh.

"Tony." Whichever persona he was seeing had McGee's snark down pat.

"Oh, no. You're not keeping this secret."

Abby slugged him on the arm. "McGee, if this has anything to do with McGregor and Amy, you'd better confess. Because otherwise, I will kill you-"

"And leave no forensic evidence." Tony and McGee finished the sentence for her.

"How about we go back to my apartment so McGee can explain?" Tony smirked, shifting to a glare as McGee started to protest.

"We don't- OK, fine." McGee sighed.

In 15 minutes, they were back in Tony's apartment. "OK, McSecrecy. Spill."

McGee sighed. "I was doing research. For the next book."

"There's a next book?" Abby crossed her arms from her spot on the arm of the couch.

"What kind of research?" Tony scanned McGee's ridiculous attire. "McGregor and Amy hooking up wouldn't require this — you've done plenty of research in that area over the years with Abby." He winced as both Abby and McGee punched him in the arm. "You two were hooking up the entire time Gibbs was gone — don't deny it."

"I was not researching that." McGee blushed. "Look, the team is running an undercover op in the next book, and I've only ever been undercover as a waiter or other support staff."

"So you were pretending to be undercover?" Tony snorted. "All those times you've dodged my questions about dates with a woman were because you were pretending to be your author persona pretending to go undercover to research your next book?" He snickered. "Abby, you know what this means?"

"The next time we have an undercover op, McGee gets the most ridiculous job possible? Oh, yeah." She smirked. "And if you even think of arguing with Gibbs, I'll get my revenge."

"H- How?"

"I'll tell Jimmy just how accurate Amy's bedroom was in Deep Six. Which means all those Pimmy Jalmer things you convinced him were coincidence, he'll get mad at you for them all over again." She smiled, and Tony reminded himself again to never get on Abby's bad side.

He really was going to have to rethink McGee's ability to keep a secret though. This was three big ones in as many months. Either McSneaky was getting better at hiding things, or he was losing his touch.