Prompted by a friend on Tumblr, this happened. Title is from the Barenaked Ladies song of the same name.
Kurt walked carefully through the darkened halls of the Dalton dorms. When he reached his destination, he knocked softly on the door. "Blaine?" No answer. "Blaine, I'm coming in." He opened the door and took in the sight before him.
The window was cracked open several inches. Schoolbooks, papers, pages of sheet music were scattered around, but that was nothing new for Blaine. On his bed was a huddled mass of duvet, sheets, pillows and dark curly hair.
"What are you doing? Why did you call me over?"
A single hand came out from under the pile of blanket. "It's over there." The extended finger pointed vaguely toward the open window.
"What is it? A bird or something?"
Blaine finally pulled himself from under the blanket, frown on his face, eyebrows furrowed. "No it's not a bird! I can handle a bird; I love birds! Birds eat these things. I am a friend to the birds, Kurt!"
"Fine! Jeez. Blaine Anderson: Bird Whisperer. Duly noted," Kurt mock-saluted him. Blaine grunted and wrapped the blanket tighter around him, just his head poking out of the top of the pile.
"It's over there," he said again, indicating with a nod of his head. Kurt walked past the bed to Blaine's desk, peering through the open window.
"I don't see anything." Kurt turned around, shaking his head.
"How can you not see it? It's huge!"
"I see how messy your desk is, I see people outside, and I see a tiny spider crawling on your wall."
"T-tiny?" Blaine sputtered, his jaw dropping. "Tiny? That thing is a monster! It's the size of my fist, Kurt!"
"It isn't even the size of my pinkie fingernail. This is why you called me over here?"
Blaine stared at him, dumbfounded.
"What exactly do you want me to do?"
"Kill it, of course!"
"I'm not going to kill it, it's just a spider."
"Which is the perfect reason to smash it!"
Kurt shook his head and dug a notebook out of the pile on Blaine s desk. Blaine started to protest, but quickly fell silent at the look Kurt gave him.
Kurt put the notebook against the wall, using his other hand the scoot the spider onto the paper. He set the book on the windowsill, and ushered the spider off. He shut the window and looked back at Blaine.
"Better?"
"Much better." Blaine extracted his arms from the blanket and held them out, beckoning Kurt forward with his fingers. Kurt coyly sauntered over to the bed. "My hero." Blaine nuzzled his face into Kurt's chest.
Kurt petted his hair lightly, "Now please don t call me again in the middle of the night for something so ridiculous again." He leaned down and kissed Blaine.
"Unless there's some sort of killer monster dust bunnies under the bed I need to take care of, I'm going back to bed."
Blaine shook his head and smiled up at his boyfriend. "You're the best. Seriously. You saved my life."
Kurt rolled his eyes and moved to shut the door behind him. Before the lock clicked, he heard, "I'm going to have to throw away that notebook now by the way!"