The Villain Series
Book 1: Roll Call
In the deathly hallows, lurks a group of villains who join together to destroy their undefeatable heroes.
Voldemort : Alright, are we all here? I suppose I will do role call. Osama Bin Laden?
Osama : Kill the Americans!
Voldemort : Ok…? Darth Vader?
Vader : (Looking at Osama) The force is weak with THAT one…
Osama : SILENCE! I KILL YOU!
(Darth uses the force to choke Osama)
Voldemort : Knock it off Darth!
Vader: My apologies, my lord.
Voldemort: Naraku?
Naraku: I am present.
Voldemort: Adolph Hitler?
Hitler: (mumbles in German to self) HI HITLER!
Voldemort: *sigh* What did he say?
Vader: Destroy the rats…Go Hitler…
Voldemort: Ok…So I guess that leaves Cronos the Lord of Time.
(Vader looks around in silence and doesn't see him)
Uh…Where is he?
Naraku: He was too big to fit in here so he's listening from outside.
Voldemort: We're supposed to be in hiding! Is he at least hiding in the trees?
(Naraku peaks outside the window to see Cronos easily seen by a paper delivery boy who runs in fear)
Naraku: …Uh…yes…
Voldemort: Very well. We shall commence operation DESTROY! Ah. Here comes one of my faithful spy's.
Vader: (Vader whispers to Hitler) Ten bucks he's on the good side…
Hitler: Hi Hi!
Snape: My lord, Pettigrew is…(looks around in confusion) uh…
Voldemort: Well, Well Severus. I have never before seen you speechless. 'tis intriguing.
Hitler: (mumbles to self)
Voldemort: What did he say?
Darth: Whose that?
Voldemort: My servant.
Hitler: Whatchibaba?
Voldemort: My Servant.
Hitler: Whatchibaba?
Voldemort: MY SERVANT!
Hitler: Whatchibaba?
Voldemort: MY SERVANT DAMNIT, AVADA—
Snape: My LORD?!?
Voldemort: Pardon me…lost my temper…
(Long awkward silence)
Hitler: …Whatchibaba?