Life Lost

Jack drove along, enjoying the gentle curves of the back road he was meandering down at a leisurely pace. He sang along with the radio, or hummed to himself. He'd drummed the rhythm a few times, but stopped himself when it made sore knuckles twinge.

When Mac was completely back to himself, meaning when he didn't start limping from the dumb-genius induced stab wound in his leg, Jack would have to suggest a drive out here. His partner would love to just randomly hike out into these thick woods, just to see what was there, he thought.

Speaking of Mac, he should probably check up on the kid after he attended to matters here. His partner had been awfully quiet. At first Jack thought it was because he still felt like hell from his exposure to the VX gas out in New York (not to mention his wounded leg), but the last couple of days Jack was getting the impression that there was more going on in the kid's head.

Jack thought these might be one of those times when leaving well enough alone wasn't going to work. He thought maybe Mac needed getting out of his own head, and if anyone was up for the task it was him. He'd done it plenty of times. If all else failed, he'd annoy Mac into talking about what was bothering him. That was usually the quickest route if Mac didn't just seek him out to unload.

He was cruising along, just enjoying his music and contemplating exactly what sort of conversation he could strike up with Mac that would irk him enough to decide that talking over something serious was a better alternative, when the banging started in the trunk.

He tried ignoring it for a minute or two. Then he tried turning up the radio. When that didn't work he hit his breaks hard enough to send his cargo skidding around his trunk. He figured that out to take some of the fight out of the situation.

Elwood surprised him by launching himself out of the trunk and into Jack. Jack found himself almost grinning mid-fight. Old Elwood must really be taking better care of himself, because he was actually giving Jack (who was operating in 'fight like a civilian' mode) a run for his money. He really didn't want to hurt the guy; in fact, just the opposite.

By the time it was all over, Jack thought maybe they could really reach an understanding. And maybe, just maybe, this dude could earn being worthy of getting called Dad by a kid as great as Riley.

As they drove back toward his place, Jack's text alert went off. That's was Mac's sound. He'd have to check out what was up as soon as he had a free minute. But in the meantime, he had to make Elwood realize that you don't get the Father of the Year award my going near your kid when a stone cold killer was dogging your steps.

0-0-0

Mac had agonized over going to Jack's to talk. In fact, he'd spent most of the last week pushing his friend away, while doing his best to hide that it was what he was doing. It wasn't that he didn't trust Jack, didn't want his opinion.

It was more that he knew Jack had known Matty for a very long time, and that at one time, not all that long ago if how they talked was any indication, they'd been at least friends, and sometimes Mac even speculated that they had been more.

Finally, he couldn't take the knowledge of what he'd seen on that film anymore. And, if he was honest, most of what had kept him from pursuing it was that he'd felt like hell for a couple of days, and was still a little rocky off and on.

If he walked to far or too fast, his leg cramped up or just started aching. At least the stitches had come out. Okay, he'd taken them out when he couldn't stand the itching anymore. But it wasn't all that early. Not really. And it felt a lot better without them.

Staying in his own house, in his own head felt like the world's biggest waste. He knew Matty had no intention of sending him into the field for a couple of weeks, barring a massive international crisis. But, in the last six months or so, any time he'd had off from work had been spent pursuing his missing father. It felt like that's what he should be doing now.

And now he knew that Matty was somehow involved with his past. He decided that if he was going to look into her involvement, he was going to have to involve Jack. Firstly, because if he didn't and then got into trouble, Jack would probably kill him, or, more likely, try to Lojack him. But the point was he'd followed doctor's orders to the extent of his tolerance and needed to be doing something.

So when he'd finally said enough was enough, and gotten off his ass to put on something other than sweats and a bathrobe, he texted Jack that he was coming over. It was clear from the reception he received that Jack hadn't gotten his text.

Jack immediately lowered his weapon, wearing an apology on his face. Sometimes Jack forgot just exactly how much Mac hated guns. Days like today reminded him. He'd clearly scared the kid, because when Jack had opened the door he'd had a flash on a tentative expression, and now Mac's voice was irritated, bordering on angry – his default setting when he was afraid. Jack smoothed things over by unintentionally piquing Mac's curiosity.

He was proud of the kid for greeting Elwood the way he did. He would have half expected, given the way Mac felt about Ri himself, that his own protective streak would rear its head (not to mention the streak that was colored in by the ten-year-old boy whose own father had abandoned him on his god damned birthday).

That's why Jack hadn't texted him back. Those were fresh bruises and scrapes. These guys had been fighting. And now Elwood was in Jack's apartment. The mental math didn't take much effort to add up. He swallowed his urge to tell Jack that he needed to speak with him … and that it was kind of urgent, but Jack gave him 'the look'.

Jack could tell that this wasn't a casual, 'I'm done being on the DL, let's go do something stupid so Matty'll know I'm ready to be back at work and I'm bored enough that she should want me there' visit. Mac figured Elwood must be in some kind of trouble if instead of sending the guy away, he asked Mac to step outside with him.

Mac was glad it hadn't taken longer to get his friend alone. He felt like his head might explode if he didn't tell someone what was going on. And by someone he meant Jack. Almost always.

But when Mac opened his mouth and told his partner, Jack didn't look shocked, or upset, or any of the things that Mac was expecting … and honestly wanted … from his partner. Jack just made a face that Mac knew all too well. It was the look of skepticism he often gave Jack when Jack was being superstitious.

Just Jack's reaction made him start pacing again. Jack thought the kid seemed, for him, pretty agitated. Mac was normally very good at putting his feelings into a box, building a wall around that box, and then setting armed guards to defend it.

He knew it was bad when Mac leaned his elbows on the railing out on the patio and stood there hanging his head. Jack knew because Mac's eyes were open and he was staring down at the ground. Mac was pretty good at gutting out his fear of heights when the job called for it. He was even pretty good at ignoring it in casual situations. But one thing you almost never saw was him just taking in the scenery, if said scenery had any kind of drop.

If Matty was lying about something, they'd never find out about it unless she wanted them to. That was just how she was. He said so to Mac. His expression told Jack that his anger was too perfect to hear rational arguments right now. What Jack wanted to point out was that Mac was the rational one on their team. And he wasn't himself right now.

What Jack wanted to tell him was that he should go home and chill out and take at least a couple more days of the leave they were supposed to be getting, so that maybe just maybe he wasn't trying to run on an empty tank. What he did instead was try to listen.

Mac still sounded angry when he said, "If Matty has intel about my father and isn't telling me, then she …"

"Has her reasons," Jack said cutting him off. Jack proceeded to dismantle Mac's arguments, earning himself a more and more annoyed expression from his partner. Jack finally got him to crack a smile when he claimed to be a lone wolf and then howled like a kid doing the same thing.

Mac found himself smiling more than it warranted, as he reminded Jack about his big 'family unity and togetherness' idea.

Jack thought they were headed in the right direction when Mac got a text from Matty calling him in. Well, that was fine, Jack supposed. He'd just pop inside and give Elwood some instructions for while he was gone. But Mac stopped him, saying it was a message only for him, that Jack could stay with his new temporary roommate.

Jack looked a little horrified at the idea of Mac going into an assignment alone, but Matty had given him her solemn vow over some really good bourbon and a couple of the cigars he'd brought back from Cuba a few months ago, that she wouldn't send him into the field without back-up. And he could tell Mac needed some space. And a nice easy op doing consulting for the field teams was a pretty good way to reintegrate Mac into the pool of agents.

Mac couldn't keep the irritation that he felt at being ordered around like a pawn on a chessboard. And as he turned to head back down the back steps, he just had to say what had been on his mind from the time he heard Jack's very first analogy about the wolf pack. "That's one dysfunctional wolf pack."

He was still turning the scene from the film over in his mind when he got to Phoenix, and he was more than half tempted to confront Matty about the film when he got to the War Room.

Then Cage met him at the door and started briefing him on the situation.

Then his own problems just seemed to fall away.

Everything about him became focused on the thirty-two lives on that doomed research vessel.