Author's Note

ANOTHER FIC? i must be out of my sane mind :P

This is a GrimmXUlqui...

Will be rated M,

meaning contains... Lemons... etc. this particular one, Rape 0.0 you will know what i mean :O

Enjoyyy!

I took a curious glance around the new surroundings as the man who is now my father drove past the city hours ago. And now we ventured into a suburban town. It reminded me of the ideal American dream. Wife, children, safe, suburban community as well as the cliché green lawn. But I could help but smile. I had a home. I glanced out to the surroundings like a child staring at candy. I wanted these so badly, and for the past sixteen years all I had was nothing more the sick agonizing abuse of our so called foster father. I shuttered as the memories of that heartless man entered my brain, the events of that night three years ago seemed as though it happened yesterday. I swallowed a lump in my throat as tears began to fill my eyes. Through the emotions, I saw the boy, the boy with brilliant blue hair and eyes to match. I saw the boy I left behind.

"Ulqui-chan, are you alright? The caring voice of a mother asked.

I blinked, a few tears rolled down my cheeks. I licked my lips nervously as I wiped the tears away. "Yeah Yuki, I'm alright" I responded, giving her a solemn smile. She didn't buy it.

"Ulqui, you can just call me mom." She smiled warmly. I blinked in surprise. Dumbfounded by the sincere kindness they treated me with. They let me into their lives. I made way through the adoption center and into their hearts. She asked me to call her mom.

"Alright, thanks mom" I whispered quietly. The smile that formed on her lips was priceless. Her eyes seemed to glow into the well lit car. She cared. I thought silently. She fucking cared. I mentally chuckled, and prayed that this string of good fortune would last.

"Ulqui" my new father called. "You'll be starting school tomorrow here, at the village okay?" he smiled as he carried my every small box of personal belongings into the house. I took a deep breath in and exhale. This was a new beginning. I could forget the past.

I took solid steps towards the house, it was average size. But nonetheless far nicer and cozier than the piece of shit dump I use to live in. To be honest, I never knew. I never thought I could ever be loved, or adopted at that. With my looks, I screamed emo adolescent hormonal teenager. Even the adoption center was surprised when a suburban family decided to adopt me. The guy at the desk even asked them 'are you sure' three times.

"Nay, Ulqui-chan, dinner will be ready at 7, until then you get cozy and settled in alright? Kai, honey could you please take him to his room?" she asked.

"Come with me" he said warmly as he promptly led me towards the upstairs of the house. I followed him silently into the large bedroom. I stared at it. My own room I thought to myself.

He let out a small chuckled and began to speak. "I know it's nothing too much or fancy but really, this is all we have and a small guest room. But we thought this would be better" he smiled kindly.

"No, no" I said politely. "This is more than enough" I assured him.

"Okay that's good" he said. "You have your own bathroom just through the right. It's a full bath so you can shower there. And if you need anything, please just ask" he said.

"I will" I smiled at him, trying to lighten the atmosphere. Even though they welcomed me with open arms and hearts, nevertheless, I was still away from the nine children I had grown up with. Even though I was away from all the abuse and torment, they had become a part of me. And now I was saved, while the ten of us remained separated. We were a part of each other's childhoods and now we weren't. I hadn't been away from them for a majority of the sixteen years of my life. How was going to act normally without them, I questioned myself.

I shook the thoughts off myself. I need a shower. I thought silently. I took a peek at my watch, 6:50. I sighed quietly and took a deep breath. I looked through my small box that was placed near the bed. I slowly walked over to it, unsure of whether to open that or not. Later I assured myself. I couldn't open it now, not now. I sunk in the mattress and a suddenly wave of drowsiness washed over me. I decided to get up, and do something before I fall asleep. Suddenly, I hopped out of my bed and promptly went downstairs. It was close enough. When I entered the kitchen, I found dinner prepped and neatly lay before me. I couldn't even remember the last time I had a decent meal. Apparently my thoughts translated to my expression, for Yuki chuckled slightly. "Eat up, as much as you want, we have plenty more" she smiled.

We pretty ate in silent, none of us managed to break the ice and stir up a proper, long lasting conversation. I didn't mind the silence, in fact I enjoyed it, in fact at one point I found myself craving it. I was happy that Yuki and Kai decided to give the time to adjust and warm up to them instead of forcing conversations upon us. "Thank you for the meal" I said graciously after finished the food.

"Glad you enjoyed it" Yuki smiled for what must've been the billionth time today. I understand their happiness but all I could return was a small smile, containing more sorrow than content. I couldn't help but to think about my childhood friends. How they would've killed for a loving family, a decent meal, or even just less of that shit hole of an adoption center. And I questioned, what did I do to deserve this kind treatment? And what the fuck did they do to deserve that kind of treatment. I tightened my splayed and relaxed hand into a hard fist as anger boiled inside. I silently walked upstairs, and grimly sat down on the soft mattress.

I bet they aren't sleeping on such a soft mattress. I thought bitterly. Ever since that night three years ago when all of us- no, expect one escaped from the horrible foster father we shared. Tears filled my eyes as a wave of guilty washed over me.

I remember it, almost as clear as day. Then night the ten of us decided we had enough. The night that we attempted to escape, I covered my eyes with hands effectively stopping my negative memories.

We escaped I thought. And we ended up in an adoption center. We were separated, not mistreated but separate. The words lingering in my mind as reached for that small box. I groped the cardboard, attempt to find the opening. I slowly pried open the two flaps. And memories returned to me. I clenched my fist, hoping to cope. Suddenly I jumped away from the box o memories and fled into the corner of my bed. Clutching my knees, I told myself. No fucking way. No fucking way am I going to remember that after just escaping it.

Slowly, hopelessly, I let my weariness take over my body as I slowly drifted into the oblivion known as slumber.

"Promise?" the blue hair boy asked.

"Yeah, Grim, how many times do I have to say that" I smiled. Although these were hard times, we still managed to have fun and made the best of things out of what little we had. I picked up a small pebble off the ground and threw it aimlessly in the direction of the open field.

"Pinky swear?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow.

I smiled at the boy, he live in his own world, seemingly unaffected by all that goes around. Sometime I found myself envying him. And other times I simply enjoyed his company. He was carefree and nonchalant, making everything lighter and it was because of him that I decided to do the rash and reckless for the sake of the possibilities of a better life. "I promise Grim, that even things don't work out tonight, no matter the consequences I will always be there next to you." I completed the promise he had asked me just a few hours after I discussed the plan of escape to the other eight children. "Happy?" I asked.

"Very" he nodded. He had asked me if I'd be with him through everything. If the plan fails he promised me that he'd be there next to me through the entire ordeal and in return, he would do the same for me.

I don't know how things got to be like this. The rain poured down mercilessly on the ten of us. We were half across the field, across freedom, when a scream was heard. I knew it. I didn't have to see. It was Grim who screamed. The man who caused all of our pain had caught up to us. And he had Grimmjow. Instinctively I ran toward him. Grimmjow decided he'd be the last to escape, perhaps he was a bit too confident in his own abilities. I screamed his name. Vocal cords vibrating madly, I ran to him towards Aizen, our foster father. "No" I whispered this isn't happening. It can't be. Nothing was supposed to go wrong. NOTHING! Apparently Aizen decided that Grim was enough, he didn't need the other nine children and he ran back with the squirming boy in his arms. As we approached the dimly lit porch of the house, I caught a glimpse of his face. He was crying, and he was whispering, something. I didn't comprehend what he was saying, but suddenly common sense washed over me, and I stopped dead in my tracks. Like a dear in head lights, I couldn't move and I couldn't speak. Why was going toward the very source of my torment. Then it hit me. I was also going toward the lone source of my joy. I stood there froze, a life time of torment and rare moments of joy or a life, without Grim. I couldn't move. I could even lift a finger. If Aizen wanted to, he would've taken me as well. I could've run away or towards them, but I didn't. I just stood there unsure of what to do. I stopped just feet away from the fences of that house. I squinted; I saw Grim's solemn face. He knew what I didn't, he knew I was coming. He shed more tears and words formed; though I could not hear them I could understand them perfectly.

'But you promised'

I jolted up and far from my previous position. I had fallen asleep. Tears swelled up from the deep sorrow that laid with in my soul. I blinked, tears rolling down my face. They would not stop, no matter how much I tried. They didn't. They were almost as merciless as the rain that poured down on that night. I kept whispering, kept thinking, I'm sorry. But I knew, no matter how many times I say it, he will never be back. Not ever, not truly and never entirely.

I also realized what I had always known, but never believed, until now. The simply cruelty of the world…

No matter how hard I try, the past will always be a part of me. I will never rid of it, I will never forget it and most importantly, I will never get a brand new start, a new beginning.

Author's Note

So i actually really really like this story sooo :P it might be updated biweekly :)

as always review please :O

because Reviews=Love

~Loveless (the ironyy)