I won't go my whole life refusing you, Tegan. I promise that I'll move past this, and your frame won't be just a ghost in my dreams anymore. I'll hold you again and I swear to you that the stillness in the air between us will find relief in the darkness, and my arms will encircle you. I will be able to hold you like you've been made to hold me in my worst moments. You'll know my reasoning behind hiding out, pushing away what I clearly need when I find solace in your grip as I pull you close to hide myself from the worries inside me. I can't untangle what it is that I need and what should matter most, but it comes easier with you by my side. I know that my framework has been battered and bruised under heavy wear, but I know that you'll kiss the pain away when I ask, and that you'll hold my hand as I grow more and more resistant to the cure for my struggles. I know you're my sailboat and I'm the one lost at sea, but I'm put at ease by the idea that I have something to fall back on, something sturdy to keep my body afloat while the waves underneath our heads sink my mind with denial and anger. I know you'll be my raft for as long as I need, and I thank you for that.
Please, before I tell you I'm not worth the worry, hurry.