This wasn't happening. Belle stared at the empty space in front of her. Through the tears hazing her vision she could see the others moving around her and knew the spell holding them in place had been broken. Meaning Pan was gone. They were gone. No willpower left and no binding spell meant there was nothing to keep her from falling to the ground, her body reacting where her mind had not yet caught up. It was grey, everything was grey and slow and meaningless.
Rumple was dead.
The spell had broken, meaning she hadn't just imagined it and there was no way to avoid it. He was gone. Had that been out loud? She didn't know. There was a ringing in her head that was blocking out all other noise around her. As suddenly as it had begun the noise stopped dead, leaving her head ringing and her body numb and empty. Everything was centred around the spot in front of her, where he had last stood.
Numbly she focused on that spot on the ground, burning the image of him standing there into her brain in desperation, willing Rumple to just be there again. To come back to her.
Then someone was rubbing her back, pulling her to her feet. She tried to push them away, they were breaking her focus when she could almost see him there, just out of reach, a black and white flicker of the man she couldn't imagine being without. The person trying to move Belle stepped in front of her then, forced her to break eye contact. She moved to look around them but the illusion was gone, the echoes of his reflection had been shattered and Belle looked at the face of the person in front of her now.
David. He was saying something and urging her to her feet. Now that she had lost her point of focus she was quite easily lifted and ushered by an arm linked with hers into walking briskly along the street. Uncomprehending of what was going on, she staggered to keep up. She tried to look back again to that spot in the middle of the road. It dared to look exactly the same as it ever had. Like a road junction - black tarmac, white lines.
She had to look forwards again because they weren't slowing down at all. David put his arm around her and he might have said something. His lips moved but she wasn't sure, the white noise had returned to fill her head again. She couldn't cope with this incessant flickering between the two.
They passed Town Hall and more people joined them. David passed her on to someone else – Baelfire – while he addressed the townspeople. Belle looked up at Bae, he returned the gaze and she saw the expression in his eyes. She wondered if she looked as empty.
Gradually things began to filter through the buzz of her brain. While she wasn't focused on any one thing she tuned in to parts of conversations around her that she knew something big was happening. The curse – Pan's curse - was still coming but the Mayor had some way to stop it.
At the end of Main Street a few of them were getting into cars. Belle looked up to see the familiar sign on the yellow slatted shop – Gold's Pawnbroker and Antiquities Dealer. She flew off Bae's arm and was stepping into the shop before she realised she had moved. She walked through to the back room, feet and brain apparently running on two different tracks. The floor was a mess, a cabinet smashed and scattered across the room – all meaningless details. She swept more things off shelves and tossed them out of cabinets until her hands closed around the item they were looking for. Using the edge of the counter she snapped the head off Mr Gold's cane and dropped the stick among the mess on the floor.
Hand clenched in a fist around the object now hidden in her pocket she stepped outside again. No one made any suggestion that they noticed she had gone – obviously bigger things were going on than her grief-stricken actions. Still, when she stepped next to Bae he immediately closed the distance and took her hand, squeezing briefly but keeping his eyes on the ground. Then they were getting into the back of Regina's car and driving down the road out of Storybrooke.
When the green smoke of the curse cleared from everyone's faces they found themselves standing in a courtyard, imposing stone walls on all sides. A gasp of happiness from Snow confirmed Belle's suspicions – they were right back in the kingdom the curse had been cast on. This must be Snow White and Prince Charming's castle.
She shifted her tight grip on the metal in her pocket, reassuring herself it had made the journey with them.
As everyone around them recovered from the journey between worlds and realised they had been successfully returned home a chorus of shouts and laughter began, echoes ricocheting around the bailey and engulfing the group in chaotic noise. Belle almost cringed at the tone jarring with the sombre mood settled over the small crowd around her - those who had been gathered at the Storybrooke town border.
Dejectedly, David spoke up. "I think we should get inside, check everything is liveable in there." Snow nodded and waved at their quiet band to follow. They gratefully left the others to their merrymaking and headed for the palace gates, behind them entering a grand parlour - the few ornaments and surfaces gleaming as if the palace servants had been polishing them just hours ago. If Regina was right about the curse they probably had.
Once inside they passed several warm looking rooms with sunlight and laughter pouring in through the windows - all the signs of a glorious day. Instead their party headed to an inner room with no windows and settled themselves in chairs around the unlit fireplace. It felt cold. Belle sat with the others for almost an hour while they tried to find things to say to each other – for the most part they were lost in their own personal thoughts. Finally she couldn't take it any longer and rose to her feet. Snow White looked up in surprise at the movement but her eyes softened the moment she met Belle's gaze. Belle held up her hands to ward off any attempts Snow might make to say 'the right thing'.
"If it's not a problem, may I please take a carriage?" Belle said without deliberation. Snow looked taken aback for a moment.
"I don't think travelling anywhere this soon would be a good idea." she said tactfully, taking time over her words to try and get them through to Belle. When she saw that Belle was on the verge of retorting Snow continued hastily "We don't know for sure that everything is just as it was when we left. It was a curse after all." She knew that warnings of the side effects of magic would not be lost on Belle.
"Won't you at least stay here tonight, Belle? It'll be dark within the hour anyway." David offered placatingly and Belle sighed. She wasn't going anywhere with the husband and wife teamed against her. As soon as she accepted this she felt an indescribable weariness sink over her. Her limbs felt so heavy she only wanted to be alone to sleep, to escape in unconsciousness to any place that wasn't here.
She looked at Snow again, this time the careful veneer of determination she had kept up all day dropped, allowing the pain she couldn't deny any longer to show through. "Then is there a room I can go to?" she asked weakly and in seconds Snow was next to her, arms around her as she gently turned her out of the room back to the great staircase. The corridors she walked through passed in a blur, making the palace seem endless and foreign. She yearned for the castle she knew, with its passages and corners she felt she could still navigate with her eyes closed. She was shown to a room and told to make herself comfortable with anything from the wardrobe full of clothes and nightdresses.
When she was finally alone she didn't pause before climbing into the bed and curling into a ball beneath the covers, back turned on the empty expanse of the other side of the huge bed. She cried herself to sleep, fingers reaching for the cane handle she had taken from her coat pocket and put on the table next to the bed. At this moment it was the only physical thing she had left of him.
The next day Belle was up and ready to leave when the sun first began to shine through the window and spilled across her neatly made bed. She had not slept easily, woken regularly by the noise of merriment in the streets below – huge celebrations from the people oblivious, or wilfully ignorant, to the sorrow that surrounded their return home.
Dressed in one of the warmer gowns she found in the wardrobe that Snow had told her to help herself to, she stepped out into the corridor. She heard the noise of someone else moving behind one of the other doors but didn't wait to see which one.
Carefully picking her way along the corridors she had more time to study the decorations. It had a quainter style than the Dark Castle, Belle smiled when she thought of Mary Margaret's style. Clearly the curse hadn't changed everyone completely. Following the sound of voices she found herself back at the top of one of the staircases and from there was able to navigate to the source of the voices - the kitchen.
"Belle?" Neal's voice caught her out. She had only been planning to find Snow and thank her for the hospitality. However, she sighed, taking a moment before walking into the room to be met with the slightly warmer faces of Neal, Captain Hook and Leroy who, unlike most of the other dwarves, had not joined in the party but had followed them inside.
"We figured if no one else was up we could manage to find ourselves something to eat." Leroy said and stepped aside to reveal a sizeable breakfast spread of bacon, eggs, bread, cheeses and fruits. It was much more extravagant than the pancakes and fruit loops she had become accustomed to back in Storybrooke. Still, she smiled at the men for their efforts and opened her mouth to ask whether the queen had been down.
It was that moment Snow walked in and Belle saw her expression quickly change from one of greeting to shocked surprise when she spotted the table behind the dwarf.
They took out plates, Belle noticed that even in her castle filled with servants, Snow still knew where everything was kept - and loaded plates with food. Belle joined them, the smell of the food making her realise she hadn't eaten anything since a hurried breakfast the day before. Still, she knew that wasn't the cause of the aching emptiness inside her and she couldn't bring herself to do much more than taste the food in front of her.
Snow broke into the companionable quiet that existed at the table, "So Charming is planning an announcement for the people this morning before they all start..."
"Leaving?" Belle cut her off, trying to make the word sound less pointed than it was. The others' eyes flicked up to her simultaneously but only Snow held the eye contact.
"Yes, exactly." She recovered well, "Everyone will be heading back to their own homes but we feel we have to warn them about the possible dangers, most of them we probably haven't even anticipated." Snow was business-like as she discussed the possible plans and safety measures, efficient and organised. In this kitchen in the servants quarters, sat at an old wooden table, Belle could suddenly see the kind ruler, the real Queen Snow White that had been hidden in Mary Margaret while they had been in Storybrooke. Obviously just being home again was already helping her find herself and Belle yearned for that to be a possibility.
Snow was also very good at keeping everything moving so that the time was verging on midday when Belle finally managed to get out of Snow's sight to request a carriage be prepared for her. She knew the young queen was only trying to be helpful and was probably trying to do what she thought was best – only she seemed to be missing out on the fact that all Belle wanted was to be out from her undeservedly irritating eye. There was a feeling in the back of her mind that she had to get to Rumple's castle, that's where she should be and every moment she was delayed in the palace the stronger the feeling grew.
Once a carriage was being set up she went into the palace again and found Charming within minutes. He was in deep conversation with Regina, obviously still planning his address. He looked up to see Belle and quickly smiled, waving away Regina.
"I was just coming to thank you for your kindness and hospitality. I've organised a carriage." Belle began quickly.
"You want to go right now? I've sent word to gather people in the courtyard. I think we've given them enough time to recover." He began to smile at the idea of how they might feel after their extravagance. "Are you sure I can't…" He started but trailed off as he picked up on the determined expression on the young woman's face.
"I should be able to make good time if everyone is gathered here for your speech." His face fell slightly as he realised her point.
"You want to make the mountain pass before it gets dark." He sounded resigned to her use of logic against him. "Are you sure that's where you want to be right now?" He added in a softer voice.
"David, it's the only place I can be right now." She said just as gently and he nodded.
"I'll find Snow, let her see you off."
"Oh no, don't bother her. There are much more important things you need to be doing right now." She said. Once again Charming tried to find something to rebuff her with but finally nodded and smiled sadly.
"Just take care. You don't know what might be up in those mountains." He wasn't just talking about ogres and they both knew it. Rumplestiltskin would not leave his castle unprotected, even if he had been locked in a dungeon when they had last been in the Enchanted Forest.
Before she realised what was happening Charming had reached forward and pulled her into a tight hug. "I'm sorry for your loss." He said and after a moment she reached up and held on to him.
"And I yours." With a final squeeze, Charming slowly released her. He gave a quick nod and then she was free to go.
She strode out the castle, not letting herself be stopped by any more distractions. Then the carriage was away, trundling along the cobbled streets of the town, passing only a few stragglers hurrying along to the Royal Castle.
The journey was anticlimactic, there was no trouble on the road and even the snow storms at the top of the mountain pass were relatively subdued. She passed through the gates at the entrance to the grounds of the Dark Castle and felt a sharp prickling up the back of her neck. It did nothing more and she realised that it must have been caused by the wards.
She wasn't sure if that was because they had worn off – even though she knew Rumple wouldn't be that careless – or if he had made an exception in them for her, despite thinking her dead at the time. She tried not to think about it but a sudden lump rose in her throat and her eyes blurred.
They had made such good time she didn't feel bad about sending the coachman back down to the Royal Kingdom. He stayed long enough to make sure she got through the doors alright and wasn't blown back by some enchantment and then he practically bolted. Belle didn't care – in fact she was relieved to finally be alone. She could envelop herself in the feeling of being back again. It was so long since she had been here – more than 30 years in fact – but she remembered some of her happiest moments here and could almost sense Rumple just sitting through the next door, his wheel spinning away.
At that thought she threw herself through the double doors into the spinning room. It was empty, obviously and yet she felt a sharp pang run through her, like there was something that had been ripped out from inside her. As she walked across the floor small swirls of dust spun up from the draught of her skirt. Whether there had been a stasis spell or not, she knew Rumple had not cleaned since she had left.
A dull noise came from somewhere through the next corridor and Belle flinched dramatically, only just noticing the hollow silence that had been disturbed. She straightened her shoulders and reached for the strange looking axe hung on the wall – one of many items she had cleaned many times over.
Quietly walking around the whole castle she heard nothing more and finally she ended up in the highest tower room – the library Rumple had once surprised her with.
A book lay open on the table, obviously left out after it had imparted a last piece of wisdom. Tears welled on her eyelashes as she walked over to the book, fondly reaching out to tidy up after her beloved one last time. She glanced at the page inattentively and then drew her hand back into her as if stung. The words across the top of the page stood out bold and strong:
For Returning What Has Been Taken From You
This is my first story for this fandom and if all goes to plan i'll be able to finish it by the time we get season 3B. I hope you enjoyed and it would greatly boost my writing speed if you prodded me to go faster
Big thanks to my beta artjuiceRP and i will shamelessly plug her CaptainSwan AU here.
Thanks for reading! Hope you stick around for more