Unknown Date, November or maybe December, 2200
Today's date is lost in the mixture of my mind. I only know the general area of the month because of the frost that builds up on the window panes, but it could very well be January. I'm starting to lose track of everything. A short while after his death I grieved, but I still knew it was 6:00 on a Saturday night. I still wore t-shirts in the summer, even if I could not feel the heat. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I was aware of my surroundings, but eventually it all just blurred and meshed together. Night became Day, one hour was the same as another. But worse than that... Worse than being unable to tell one thing from next, was that he was everywhere...
I often found myself catching glimpses of him in places he couldn't possibly be anymore; like the reflection of him in my eyes. It was always a passing thing that others seemed to not notice; or I could feel his fingers running through the thickness of my hair. Most times it was a simple gesture; His hand on my cheek, or the sensation of his lips pressed against my own. Never the less, they were just gestures, broken memories I struggled to forget. He no longer resided here. I frequently found myself muttering away to no one in particular, only catching myself when I noticed the stares of others.
I can't help but notice these things. Feel these little notions planted inside my head that maybe he's still here. Maybe he hasn't really passed on. But I can't dwell on it for long because I notice I leave for hours at a time, just sitting here thinking about him.
Edward sets the pen down and stares at his calligraphic scrawl. It's enough for one night, he thinks, knowing it will go on for several pages and he wants to pace himself. It's late and Edward, after so many years, finally feels tired. He knows he shouldn't. He knows he shouldn't feel any kind of emotion, but tonight, he thinks, he should be allowed. He walks away from the desk, his limbs sagging a little, his feet dragging across the floor. He wants to find a bed, a safe haven. His room feels miles away but when he hits that soft comforter he melts.
Closing his eyes, he breaths in his scent. The blankets and pillows know him. They know his scent and hold it well, never letting Edward down. He wraps himself in the blankets, cocooning his body until he can smell him all around him.
"You're everywhere.." he whispers to no one. "Why can't you just leave me alone...?" His voice cracks, his body trembles. "I just want peace." He asks for so little, for so much. Burying his face in his pillow he allows himself to be carried away. Peace won't come tonight.